Finding A Kiss
by panskiss123
Summary: He had been searching for her. Watching, waiting until finally, it seems that he may have found her at last. But time tests Peter Pan's will and strength and he discovers time changes everything. But when dark forces appear to be after her, Peter must once again face the decision he had long ago walked away from. Rated M for language, some graphic sex scenes. "Modern-day" Plz R&R!
1. Chapter 1

Peter Pan didn't believe in growing up. Well, correction, he didn't altogether understand growing up. And anything he couldn't understand, he didn't believe. He had refused, for hundreds of years, never to grow up. Yet he had discovered, when he had brought a young girl to his homeland nearly a hundred years ago, that he could actually love; this, in itself, surprised him greatly. Peter Pan had never loved before. It was a part of the riddle of his being. No one knew why, or how, Peter Pan had come to be on Neverland. He just was. And no one questioned it. No one questioned the power he held over the island nor the fact that he became the leader to the "lost boys", children who fell from their prams when their nurses were not looking. Peter had lost his first batch of lost boys nearly a hundred years ago, the same time as he had lost his first love. But he had found other lost boys over the years and had helped them adjust. Some wanted to grow up and if that was the case, he would gently take them by the hand and fly them into the stars, searching for a home along the London skyline. He would never come back to visit them; he'd peer in at the window, see their happy expressions and with a panged sigh, he would fly back to his beloved star. He had never looked back. Save for that one time.

His heart thumped painfully as his thoughts drifted to the young girl who held his thoughts. She had captured his heart and he had never gotten it back. He had never talked to her again and he regretted it more than anything. Oh he had been back to see her. But he had never actually flown through the window to speak to her. Time in Neverland worked differently than in the real world and when Peter had finally returned to London to see the girl whose name still haunted his dreams, his very blood had frozen. He clearly remembered the night he had returned to London and had perched on the windowsill, hearing her voice just as he had remembered it. Well, no, not just as he had remembered it…it was a bit deeper than it had been. But it still held the same excitement when she talked and that's all he cared about. Smiling, he settled down, anxious to hear about one of his wonderful adventures. Those were his favorite stories, of course. The ones about him. He had always been the hero of her stories. That was the reason he had brought her to Neverland in the first place. To tell stories and be a mother to the lost boys. But the story had stopped and she had started to sing. He perked up at her lovely voice, for it held a pleasant tone and quality to it. He peered in and gasped loudly, clapping his hand to his mouth. His Wendy was cradling a baby while a handsome man peered over her shoulder. Both of them had broad smiles on their faces and Peter's eyes filled with tears. Everything Hook had said to him was true. She had grown up and had replaced him…with a husband. Peter had furiously flown back to Neverland and vowed to forget about her and her hidden kiss.

But try as he might, he could not banish those thoughts away. So one day Tinkerbell, with her face quite red (she had always disliked the Wendy-bird) had told Peter to get off his fat behind and go see her. Frowning at his fairy, he had reluctantly flown back to London, hiding his excitement at seeing Wendy again. But when he got there, further horror had reached him. Everyone was walking around with sad faces, dabbing at their cheeks with tissues. They all wore horrible black clothing and Peter's nose wrinkled as he looked around, searching for a bit of light that could only be present in his Wendy. He hid on the rooftop and watched, his eyes peeled for her. He noticed a young woman who looked strikingly familiar; she had long blonde ringlets and bright blue eyes. But her nose and mouth were different. She was pale and soft-spoken and her voice trembled when she spoke. Not like Wendy's. An older gentleman gripped her hand and sniffed. His hair had gone completely white and he looked ancient.

"Jane, I am so sorry for your loss," he said in a shaky voice. Jane merely nodded and the man leaned in closer.

"She was an amazing woman. And an excellent storyteller." Peter's ears perked up at this.

"That she was," Jane said in the barest of whispers. "Mother always told the best stories. I'm forever grateful to you that her stories will be shared around the world."

"Jane!" Someone called out and Jane turned and embraced the old man who had crossed over to her.

"Uncle Tootles, I'm so glad you could make it."

"She's my family. You all are. Come." He took her hand and lead her away and Peter followed. He didn't know where they were going but he was sure they would lead him to Wendy.

And lead him to her they did. He started to feel a sense of dread come over him as they entered the house and there were more people in black. There was a large box set up in the center of the room and people kept going over to it and peering in. There would be different reactions; some would sob, some would merely nod to whatever was in there, some would simply look bored. Peter watched the old man lead the young woman over to it and he seemed to be holding her up. The young woman let out a wail and hid her face in the man's suit. Three other men came over to her and hugged her tightly, muffling their tears.

"Slightly, want to get Janie a glass of water?" The man nodded and briskly walked away. Peter's eyes darted from the men to the box to the young woman and he felt his heart race. For what reason, he could not fathom. But he found himself walking forward and approaching the box. He remembered the night he had met Wendy, something had sprung out of a box and had scared the wits out of him. He had yanked out his dagger and had kicked it aside for good measure. Gripping his dagger in his hand, he slowly approached the box and peered in. A woman lay inside, her eyes closed and her hands folded gently across her stomach. Peter cocked his head as he started at the lifeless woman before him; why did she seem so familiar? Her blonde hair had tints of silver to it, her long eyelashes lay still against her cheek, her lips…Peter gasped. He knew those lips. He would have known them anywhere. Not because he had spent so much time staring at them but because they had given him his first kiss. His eyes lowered down her frame and he noticed a lump underneath her dress. Very carefully, he pulled the chain out of her dress and his eyes filled with tears as he held a withered old acorn in his hands. The chain came loose in his hands and he stared down at his "kiss" he had given her on the night they had met.

"No," he whispered, his eyes going back to her inert face. The young woman, Jane, had stopped across from him and had gasped. She was staring at him with wide eyes and his eyes went to hers. The men who gathered around her gasped as well and gaped at the boy in leaves.

"Peter?" One of them said in a whisper. Peter, gripping the acorn in his hands, fled from the room. When he was outside, he leaped into the air and flew back to Neverland as quickly as he possibly could.

The people of Neverland said something had broken inside Peter on that day. Something had snapped. He was never the same after that. And life in Neverland went on much as it had. Truth be told, Neverland missed the Peter they had once known. But a girl had changed him; love, some dared to whisper, had changed him.

So it came as a surprise when Peter returned from Neverland one evening, changed. He had announced to Tinkerbell and several of his friends that two of his newest lost boys had decided to grow up. He told them he would return that evening and had lead the boys through the stars, with the help of Tink's fairy dust.

Peter had played this game many times now. He had returned to this place more times than he could count and he was pretty good at finding the orphanages or homes that would take the boys in and treat them well. Looking around, he noticed how much times had changed. He was shocked at how people were dressing and he frowned as a teenager walked by with something stuck in his ears as he threw his head around as if he was trying to get a bee off him.

"Um, is he ok?" Peter asked the Lost Boy.

"He's just listening to music."

"What kind of music makes you act like that?"

"Not like your pan pipes. Music, like cool music. Peter, how long have you been away from the real world?" Peter merely shrugged. Too long, apparently.

"Come on, let's try this pl—" he stopped, his eyes widening at something behind them. They whirled around and whistled as a girl walked by. She was buried in a book but she had long blonde curls that reached her hips and she wore a cute little headband with a bow. Peter didn't know why his heart had started to race but the boys winked at him and watched the girl walk away.

"Least he knows what a hot girl looks like," the boy said snickering. Peter frowned.

"Why would she be hot? It's freezing out here." The boy merely rolled his eyes.

"Oh Peter, you really don't know anything do you?"

"Hey, I do so! I can hunt and fish and crow and fly and—"

"Alright, alright! Peter, why don't you take us to America since that's technically where we're from?" Peter bit his lip; he had only been to London. He didn't think he would be able to find his way to America, wherever that was.

"You can't get us to America, can you?"

"Of course I can," Peter snapped. "London is just…a lot nicer. You should think about staying here. Hey, look at this!" He walked over to a building and studied its pleasant appearance. "This place looks nice." The boys stared up at it doubtfully and shrugged.

"We're old enough to make it on our own, Peter. We don't need an orphanage." Peter frowned.

"The real world isn't like Neverland, boys. I told you that when you said you wanted to grow up. You need grown ups to help you and I've never left one of my boys alone before. Certainly not going to start now. Come on." He lead them up the stairs of the building and rang the doorbell. As soon as the door had opened, Peter was gone and the boys were looking around for him frantically. A kindly woman watched the boys with concern.

"Do come in, lads, and warm up. Where are your parents?" The boys followed the woman in and accepted her hospitality. Peter watched from the rooftop of the building across and smiled.

"Good luck, lads." He leaped to the ground and heard a scream. Gasping, he found that he had nearly jumped on top of a girl. It was the same girl who had crossed paths with him earlier. She was getting to her feet and brushing her jacket off.

"Oh, I'm…I'm really sorry," he said quickly, taking a step back from her. He reached for the book that had dropped to the ground and wiped off the cover.

"Where in bloody hell did you come from anyway?" she asked in an angry tone, brushing her jeans off.

"Um, I, um, I was…climbing trees. And I didn't see you."

"Well thanks for nearly flattening me. How about you watch where you land next time?" He nodded and she shook back her long locks. Her bright eyes went to his and Peter froze. The girl frowned at his behavior and cleared her throat.

"Um well thanks for helping me up. Easy on the flying from now on," she joked and Peter winced at the familiarity in her tone. She brushed back a curl behind her ear and cleared her throat again. Giving him a brief smile, she turned and hurried away. Peter watched her go, his jaw hanging open until he realized he still held her book in his hands.

"Hey, wait a minute! You forgot your—" he stopped, his wide eyes frozen on the golden letters of the title. In letters that stretched across the embossed cover read _Peter Pan._


	2. Chapter 2

Peter had frantically searched for the girl but she had vanished. He couldn't keep his eyes off the title of the book as he flew back to Neverland. When he landed, the lost boys all hurried out to greet him but he could only gape at the thing in his hands.

"Who knows how to read?" he asked loudly and the boys fell silent.

"Don't you know how to read, Peter?"

"Of course I do! I just don't want to. I like to be read to." In truth, Peter had never really learned to read though he could discern a few sentences here and there. The oldest of the Lost Boys, whom everyone called Stripes, held his hand out and took the book from Peter. He glanced up at him, surprised.

"A book about you?"

"I guess so. I want you to read some of it. Please," he added. They filed into the house and made themselves comfortable; Peter settled on his hammock and his hands went behind his head. The rest of the boys gathered around Stripes's feet and rested on the furs. Tink even leaned out of her little house to listen. Stripes cleared his throat and began.

Peter felt himself getting sleepy after only a few minutes of the story. Although he enjoyed hearing about Wendy's childhood, he was still bored.

"Find the part about me."

"Alright. Here we are." Stripes straightened the page and cleared his throat again.

**_There was another light in the room now, a thousand times brighter than the night-lights, and in the time we have taken to say this, it had been in all the drawers in the nursery, looking for Peter's shadow, rummaged the wardrobe and turned every pocket inside out. It was not really a light; it made this light by flashing about so quickly, but when it came to rest for a second you saw it was a fairy, no longer than your hand, but still growing. It was a girl called Tinker Bell_**_—"_ at this, Tink's wings fluttered and she started to jingle excitedly. Peter frowned in her direction.

"Cut it out, Tink. Go on Stripes." Tink stuck her tongue out at Peter but settled back down and Stripes continued.

**_- exquisitely gowned in a skeleton leaf, cut low and square, through which her figure could be seen to the best advantage_**_"_ Tink grinned and patted her dress down smugly. Peter could only roll his eyes.

**_A moment after the fairy's entrance the window was blown open by the breathing of the little stars, and Peter dropped in. He had carried Tinker Bell part of the way, and his hand was still messy with the fairy dust. _**

**_"Tinker Bell," he called softly, after making sure that the children were asleep, "Tink, where are you?" She was in a jug for the moment, and liking it extremely; she had never been in a jug before. _**

**_"Oh, do come out of that jug, and tell me, do you know where they put my shadow?" _**

**_The loveliest tinkle as of golden bells answered him. It is the fairy language. You ordinary children can never hear it, but if you were to hear it you would know that you had heard it once before. _**

**_Tink said that the shadow was in the big box. She meant the chest of drawers, and Peter jumped at the drawers, scattering their contents to the floor with both hands, as kings toss ha'pence to the crowd. In a moment he had recovered his shadow, and in his delight he forgot that he had shut Tinker Bell up in the drawer. _**

**_If he thought at all, but I don't believe he ever thought, it was that he and his shadow, when brought near each other, would join like drops of water, and when they did not he was appalled. He tried to stick it on with soap from the bathroom, but that also failed. A shudder passed through Peter, and he sat on the floor and cried. _**

**_His sobs woke Wendy, and she sat up in bed. She was not alarmed to see a stranger crying on the nursery floor; she was only pleasantly interested. _**

**_"Boy," she said courteously, "why are you crying?"_ **

Stripes stopped for a moment and glanced at Peter, who had sat straight up and was leaning over the bed, his feet dangling impatiently. His heart had started to hurt again. He remembered her words, remembered looking up and seeing her lovely face looking down at him with concern. But he blinked back the tears and gestured for Stripes to continue, even though he clearly remembered everything about that night. And that was strange in itself for Peter Pan.

**_Peter could be exceeding polite also, having learned the grand manner at fairy ceremonies, and he rose and bowed to her beautifully. She was much pleased, and bowed beautifully to him from the bed._**

**_"What's your name?" he asked. _**

**_"Wendy Moira Angela Darling," she replied with some satisfaction. "What is your name?" _**

**_"Peter Pan." _**

**_She was already sure that he must be Peter, but it did seem a comparatively short name. _**

**_"Is that all?" _**

**_"Yes," he said rather sharply. He felt for the first time that it was a shortish name. _**

**_"I'm so sorry," said Wendy Moira Angela. _**

**_"It doesn't matter," Peter gulped. _**

**_She asked where he lived. _**

**_"Second to the right," said Peter, "and then straight on till morning." _**

**_"What a funny address!" _**

**_Peter had a sinking. For the first time he felt that perhaps it was a funny address. _**

**_"No, it isn't," he said. _**

**_"I mean," Wendy said nicely, remembering that she was hostess, "is that what they put on the letters?" _**

**_He wished she had not mentioned letters. _**

**_"Don't get any letters," he said contemptuously. _**

**_"But your mother gets letters?" _**

**_"Don't have a mother," he said. Not only had he no mother, but he had not the slightest desire to have one. He thought them very over-rated persons. Wendy, however, felt at once that she was in the presence of a tragedy. _**

**_"O Peter, no wonder you were crying," she said, and got out of bed and ran to him. _**

**_"I wasn't crying about mothers," he said rather indignantly. "I was crying because I can't get my shadow to stick on. Besides, I wasn't crying." _**

**_"It has come off?" _**

**_"Yes." _**

**_Then Wendy saw the shadow on the floor, looking so draggled, and she was frightfully sorry for Peter. "How awful!" she said, but she could not help smiling when she saw that he had been trying to stick it on with soap. How exactly like a boy! _**

**_Fortunately she knew at once what to do. "It must be sewn on," she said, just a little patronisingly. _**

**_"What's sewn?" he asked. _**

**_"You're dreadfully ignorant." _**

**_"No, I'm not." _**

**_But she was exulting in his ignorance. "I shall sew it on for you, my little man," she said, though he was tall as herself, and she got out her housewife, and sewed the shadow on to Peter's foot. _**

**_"I daresay it will hurt a little," she warned him. _**

"A little? It hurt a lot," Peter said a little bitterly.

"She sewed it to your feet?" one of the boys said in horror.

"What's sewed?" asked another.

"They take this giant shiny pointy thing. And they stick it in you!" the second-eldest, Jack, said gleefully, poking his comrade in the side. The little one, called James, gasped and clutched his face in horror.

"You let her do that to you?"

"It really wasn't that bad," Peter said thoughtfully, remembering Wendy's tender care with his shadow.

"Hey! Quiet down you lot," Stripes said, who was feeling very drawn into the story. He had heard whispers about the special Wendy-lady that had come to Neverland so long ago and who had forever changed his leader. Now he was finally learning more about her. No one on the island dared mention her name; Peter's moods were so unpredictable, no one knew if he would celebrate her or if he'd fly into a rage. He had done both of course. No one was allowed to mention her name though. It brought too many painful memories to Peter's brain and he didn't like memories, painful or otherwise.

**_"Oh, I shan't cry," said Peter, who was already of the opinion that he had never cried in his life. And he clenched his teeth and did not cry, and soon his shadow was behaving properly, though still a little creased. _**

**_"Perhaps I should have ironed it," Wendy said thoughtfully, but Peter, boylike, was indifferent to appearances, and he was now jumping about in the wildest glee. Alas, he had already forgotten that he owed his bliss to Wendy. He thought he had attached the shadow himself. "How clever I am!" he crowed rapturously, "oh, the cleverness of me!" _**

**_It is humiliating to have to confess that this conceit of Peter was one of his most fascinating qualities. To put it with brutal frankness, there never was a cockier boy. _**

**_But for the moment Wendy was shocked. "You conceit [braggart]," she exclaimed, with frightful sarcasm; "of course I did nothing!" _**

**_"You did a little," Peter said carelessly, and continued to dance. _**

**_"A little!" she replied with hauteur; "if I am no use I can at least withdraw," and she sprang in the most dignified way into bed and covered her face with the blankets. _**

**_To induce her to look up he pretended to be going away, and when this failed he sat on the end of the bed and tapped her gently with his foot. "Wendy," he said, "don't withdraw. I can't help crowing, Wendy, when I'm pleased with myself." Still she would not look up, though she was listening eagerly. "Wendy," he continued, in a voice that no woman has ever yet been able to resist, "Wendy, one girl is more use than twenty boys." _**

**_Now Wendy was every inch a woman, though there were not very many inches, and she peeped out of the bed-clothes. _**

**_"Do you really think so, Peter?" _**

**_"Yes, I do." _**

**_"I think it's perfectly sweet of you," she declared, "and I'll get up again," and she sat with him on the side of the bed. She also said she would give him a kiss if he liked, but Peter did not know what she meant, and he held out his hand expectantly. _**

**_"Surely you know what a kiss is?" she asked, aghast. _**

**_"I shall know when you give it to me," he replied stiffly, and not to hurt his feeling she gave him a thimble._**

Peter was now blushing furiously that this private event had been included in this book. It wasn't his fault that he hadn't known what a kiss was! Why couldn't she just tell him right there? To make matters worse, Stripes and Jack snickered.

"You mean you didn't know what a kiss was?"

"Just read," Peter said grumpily. Stripes chuckled and continued.

**_"Now," said he, "shall I give you a kiss?" and she replied with a slight primness, "If you please." She made herself rather cheap by inclining her face toward him, but he merely dropped an acorn button into her hand, so she slowly returned her face to where it had been before, and said nicely that she would wear his kiss on the chain around her neck. It was lucky that she did put it on that chain, for it was afterwards to save her life._**

At this, Tink chimed something and Peter glared at her.

"Yeah, YOU made them shoot her." Tink chimed again and the boys waited for a translation but Peter merely glared at her and shook his head. After an uncomfortable pause, Stripes continued.

* * *

**Well, that's it for now. Please review, the only way I post more is by reading those reviews. Don't worry, the whole fic won't be the book ((And as a disclaimer, I of course do not own anything, all original characters are property of J.M Barrie. I don't take credit for any of his work nor do I plagiarize his work.)) **

**Thanks for reading! **


	3. Chapter 3

Alright readers, here is another chapter before I hit the bed. I feel like I should explain, since I have gotten questions from more than one fan, asking how this is a Peter and Wendy story...and I'm afraid you guys just have to bear with me a little longer, I don't want to reveal anything too soon. Might want to read the summary of this fic again and see if you can't figure it out ;-) Right now, suffice it to say it is the romantic thoughts/notions of Peter and Wendy's relationship. :-)

Please keep those reviews coming and I am so grateful to see so many of my old fans (and new ones) have come to read! 

**_When people in our set are introduced, it is customary for them to ask each other's age, and so Wendy, who always liked to do the correct thing, asked Peter how old he was. It was not really a happy question to ask him; it was like an examination paper that asks grammar, when what you want to be asked is Kings of England. _**

**_"I don't know," he replied uneasily, "but I am quite young." He really knew nothing about it, he had merely suspicions, but he said at a venture, "Wendy, I ran away the day I was born." _**

**_Wendy was quite surprised, but interested; and she indicated in the charming drawing-room manner, by a touch on her night-gown, that he could sit nearer her. _**

**_"It was because I heard father and mother," he explained in a low voice, "talking about what I was to be when I became a man." He was extraordinarily agitated now. "I don't want ever to be a man," he said with passion. "I want always to be a little boy and to have fun. So I ran away to Kensington Gardens and lived a long long time among the fairies." _**

**_She gave him a look of the most intense admiration, and he thought it was because he had run away, but it was really because he knew fairies. Wendy had lived such a home life that to know fairies struck her as quite delightful. She poured out questions about them, to his surprise, for they were rather a nuisance to him, getting in his way and so on, and indeed he sometimes had to give them a hiding. Still, he liked them on the whole, and he told her about the beginning of fairies. _**

**_"You see, Wendy, when the first baby laughed for the first time, its laugh broke into a thousand pieces, and they all went skipping about, and that was the beginning of fairies." _**

**_Tedious talk this, but being a stay-at-home she liked it. _**

**_"And so," he went on good-naturedly, "there ought to be one fairy for every boy and girl." _**

**_"Ought to be? Isn't there?" _**

**_"No. You see children know such a lot now, they soon don't believe in fairies, and every time a child says, 'I don't believe in fairies,' there is a fairy somewhere that falls down dead." _**

**_Really, he thought they had now talked enough about fairies, and it struck him that Tinker Bell was keeping very quiet. "I can't think where she has gone to," he said, rising, and he called Tink by name. Wendy's heart went flutter with a sudden thrill. _**

**_"Peter," she cried, clutching him, "you don't mean to tell me that there is a fairy in this room!" _**

**_"She was here just now," he said a little impatiently. "You don't hear her, do you?" and they both listened. _**

**_"The only sound I hear," said Wendy, "is like a tinkle of bells." _**

**_"Well, that's Tink, that's the fairy language. I think I hear her too." _**

**_The sound come from the chest of drawers, and Peter made a merry face. No one could ever look quite so merry as Peter, and the loveliest of gurgles was his laugh. He had his first laugh still. _**

**_"Wendy," he whispered gleefully, "I do believe I shut her up in the drawer!" _**

**_He let poor Tink out of the drawer, and she flew about the nursery screaming with fury. "You shouldn't say such things," Peter retorted. "Of course I'm very sorry, but how could I know you were in the drawer?" _**

**_Wendy was not listening to him. "O Peter," she cried, "if she would only stand still and let me see her!" _**

**_"They hardly ever stand still," he said, but for one moment Wendy saw the romantic figure come to rest on the cuckoo clock. "O the lovely!" she cried, though Tink's face was still distorted with passion. _**

**_"Tink," said Peter amiably, "this lady says she wishes you were her fairy." _**

**_Tinker Bell answered insolently. _**

**_"What does she say, Peter?" _**

**_He had to translate. "She is not very polite. She says you are a great ugly girl, and that she is my fairy. _**

**_He tried to argue with Tink. "You know you can't be my fairy, Tink, because I am an gentleman and you are a lady." _**

**_To this Tink replied in these words, "You silly ass," and disappeared into the bathroom. "She is quite a common fairy," Peter explained apologetically, "she is called Tinker Bell because she mends the pots and kettles."_**

**_They were together in the armchair by this time, and Wendy plied him with more questions. _**

**_"If you don't live in Kensington Gardens now - " _**

**_"Sometimes I do still." _**

**_"But where do you live mostly now?" _**

**_"With the lost boys." _**

The boys cheered and Peter shushed them.

**_"Who are they?" _**

**_"They are the children who fall out of their perambulators when the nurse is looking the other way. If they are not claimed in seven days they are sent far away to the Neverland to defray expenses. I'm captain." _**

**_"What fun it must be!" _**

**_"Yes," said cunning Peter, "but we are rather lonely. You see we have no female companionship." _**

**_"Are none of the others girls?" _**

**_"Oh, no; girls, you know, are much too clever to fall out of their prams." _**

**_This flattered Wendy immensely. "I think," she said, "it is perfectly lovely the way you talk about girls; John there just despises us." _**

**_For reply Peter rose and kicked John out of bed, blankets and all; one kick. This seemed to Wendy rather forward for a first meeting, and she told him with spirit that he was not captain in her house. However, John continued to sleep so placidly on the floor that she allowed him to remain there. "And I know you meant to be kind," she said, relenting, "so you may give me a kiss." _**

**_For the moment she had forgotten his ignorance about kisses. "I thought you would want it back," he said a little bitterly, and offered to return her the thimble. _**

**_"Oh dear," said the nice Wendy, "I don't mean a kiss, I mean a thimble." _**

**_"What's that?" _**

**_"It's like this." She kissed him. _**

"She's confusing me, this Wendy-lady," Little Ray cried. "A thimble or a kiss, which is which?!"

"A kiss is with the lips, dummy," Jack said snickering. "Any idiot knows that." But he fell silent at the look Peter was giving him.

**_"Funny!" said Peter gravely. "Now shall I give you a thimble?" _**

**_"If you wish to," said Wendy, keeping her head erect this time. _**

**_Peter thimbled her, and almost immediately she screeched. "What is it, Wendy?" _**

**_"It was exactly as if someone were pulling my hair." _**

**_"That must have been Tink. I never knew her so naughty before." _**

**_And indeed Tink was darting about again, using offensive language. _**

**_"She says she will do that to you, Wendy, every time I give you a thimble." _**

**_"But why?" _**

**_"Why, Tink?" _**

**_Again Tink replied, "You silly ass." Peter could not understand why, but Wendy understood, and she was just slightly disappointed when he admitted that he came to the nursery window not to see her but to listen to stories._**

"Ha! Tinkerbell is a jealous one!" Tink chimed something and Peter's face darkened.

"Tink, you don't need to use such language! And I remember that well. You pulled her hair really hard." Tink chimed and shrugged her shoulders so as to say, "so what". But her face softened and she lowered back to her perch. The boys all looked excited.

"More, more! Tell us more about the Wendy-lady!" Peter started at the sound of her name being said with such excitement. With a meaningful glance at Peter, Stripes went on.

**_"You see, I don't know any stories. None of the lost boys knows any stories." _**

**_"How perfectly awful," Wendy said. _**

**_"Do you know," Peter asked "why swallows build in the eaves of houses? It is to listen to the stories. O Wendy, your mother was telling you such a lovely story." _**

**_"Which story was it?" _**

**_"About the prince who couldn't find the lady who wore the glass slipper." _**

**_"Peter," said Wendy excitedly, "that was Cinderella, and he found her, and they lived happily ever after." _**

**_Peter was so glad that he rose from the floor, where they had been sitting, and hurried to the window. _**

**_"Where are you going?" she cried with misgiving. _**

**_"To tell the other boys." _**

**_"Don't go Peter," she entreated, "I know such lots of stories." _**

**_Those were her precise words, so there can be no denying that it was she who first tempted him. _**

**_He came back, and there was a greedy look in his eyes now which ought to have alarmed her, but did not. _**

**_"Oh, the stories I could tell to the boys!" she cried, and then Peter gripped her and began to draw her toward the window. _**

**_"Let me go!" she ordered him. _**

**_"Wendy, do come with me and tell the other boys." _**

**_Of course she was very pleased to be asked, but she said, "Oh dear, I can't. Think of mummy! Besides, I can't fly." _**

**_"I'll teach you." _**

**_"Oh, how lovely to fly." _**

**_"I'll teach you how to jump on the wind's back, and then away we go." _**

**_"Oo!" she exclaimed rapturously. _**

**_"Wendy, Wendy, when you are sleeping in your silly bed you might be flying about with me saying funny things to the stars." _**

**_"Oo!" _**

**_"And, Wendy, there are mermaids." _**

**_"Mermaids! With tails?" _**

**_"Such long tails." _**

**_"Oh," cried Wendy, "to see a mermaid!" _**

**_He had become frightfully cunning. "Wendy," he said, "how we should all respect you." _**

**_She was wriggling her body in distress. It was quite as if she were trying to remain on the nursery floor. _**

**_But he had no pity for her. _**

**_"Wendy," he said, the sly one, "you could tuck us in at night." _**

**_"Oo!" _**

**_"None of us has ever been tucked in at night." _**

**_"Oo," and her arms went out to him. _**

**_"And you could darn our clothes, and make pockets for us. None of us has any pockets." _**

**"**Peter, can't you find us another Wendy lady," James pleaded. "She sounds so lovely!"

"There will never be another Wendy," Peter said in the barest of whispers but the boys had heard it. Stripes even looked stunned. He had heard rumors that Peter had loved this girl but that was preposterous. For one, Peter was just a boy and boys did not know about such things. And secondly, Peter Pan did not love. It was part of the riddle of his being. And Stripes (and the rest of the boys) pitied him for that. Stripes remembered love from the mortal world. In truth, his reasoning for fleeing to Neverland was very different than the rest. His parents had been killed and he had begged for someone to come take him away so that he would not have to remain in London, parentless. And Peter Pan had appeared and offered to take him to Neverland. He promised, eventually, Stripes would forget. Years had passed and Stripes still remembered. Peter forgot things almost instantly. Another riddle, he supposed but then he could not understand why this girl was ever present in his mind. Wasn't he supposed to forget about her after such a long time? Or was it true? Had Peter Pan actually loved another?

Peter was clutching at something around his neck. Stripes knew it was the thimble and now he finally knew where it had come from. It was the very thimble Wendy had given to him and had called her kiss. He still wore it, close to his heart, after all those years. He noticed Peter did not let go of it as he read on.


	4. Chapter 4

I hope this chapter answers some of your questions a little better. I promise all will be revealed very soon. Keep those reviews coming! :-)

Night had fallen on Neverland and Stripes was still reading; the boys were still captivated. He glanced up at Tink with a sly grin.

"Well here's a part Tinkerbell might enjoy." Tink perked up and listened closely.

**_Now Nibs rose from the ground, and the others thought that his staring eyes still saw the wolves. But it was not wolves he saw._**

**_"I have seen a wonderfuller thing," he cried, as they gathered round him eagerly. "A great white bird. It is flying this way." _**

**_"What kind of a bird, do you think?" _**

**_"I don't know," Nibs said, awestruck, "but it looks so weary, and as it flies it moans, 'Poor Wendy,'" _**

**_"Poor Wendy?" _**

**_"I remember," said Slightly instantly, "there are birds called Wendies." _**

**_"See, it comes!" cried Curly, pointing to Wendy in the heavens. _**

**_Wendy was now almost overhead, and they could hear her plaintive cry. But more distinct came the shrill voice of Tinker Bell. The jealous fairy had now cast off all disguise of friendship, and was darting at her victim from every direction, pinching savagely each time she touched. "Hullo, Tink," cried the wondering boys. _**

**_Tink's reply rang out: "Peter wants you to shoot the Wendy." _**

Peter's face darkened immediately and he shot a glare toward Tink. She shrugged apologetically and fluttered closer to him. Peter shifted in the hammock and crossed his arms, looking away. Stripes didn't notice his behavior and read on.

**_It was not in their nature to question when Peter ordered. "Let us do what Peter wishes!" cried the simple boys. "Quick, bows and arrows!" _**

**_All but Tootles popped down their trees. He had a bow and arrow with him, and Tink noted it, and rubbed her little hands. _**

**_"Quick, Tootles, quick," she screamed. "Peter will be so pleased." _**

**_Tootles excitedly fitted the arrow to his bow. "Out of the way, Tink," he shouted, and then he fired, and Wendy fluttered to the ground with an arrow in her breast._**

"STOP!" The boys all looked up as Peter jumped to his feet, fuming. His fists were clenched and he wore a scowl that marred his handsome features.

"No more," he said quietly. "I can't stand reliving all of this. I don't want to hear anymore."

"But Peter…we don't know what happened! We want to—"

"I don't care!" Peter shouted. "I said no more!" Stripes closed the book and quietly placed it aside.

"Maybe we should all get some sleep. It's late and we're to be at the Indian Village early tomorrow." Nodding, the boys all shuffled off and left Peter to his thoughts. Tink sensed his anger toward her and left without a word, knowing he would cool down over the night. Peter curled up in his hammock and clutched at the kiss around his neck. Finally allowing the tears to come, he wept into his pillow.

"Wendy, why did you leave me?" He sniffed and rubbed at his nose. "You didn't have to die. You could have stayed here, in Neverland, with me. Why did you leave? Why did you die? Why can't I forget about you?" Attempting to wipe his tears away, he rolled over and searched as hard as he could for sleep but was dismayed that he was kept awake by the thoughts of a lovely blue-eyed girl.

* * *

Peter had hardly slept at all but he accompanied the boys to the Indian Village and pretended nothing was wrong. The princess of the tribe, a beautiful Indian girl called Tiger Lily, (for her strength and beauty) immediately noticed Peter's tired eyes and tear-stained cheeks.

"Pan has not slept," she said softly. Peter shook his head.

"I don't want to discuss it, Tiger Lily."

"Pan's heart is hurting?"

"I SAID I don't want to discuss it," he said through clenched teeth and Tiger Lily bowed her head and fell silent. She kept her eye on him the entire morning and noticed a change in his behavior; he was more cautious, slower, even than he had ever been. She grasped Stripes's arm and pulled him aside.

"Something is wrong with Pan?" Stripes looked around quickly and nodded.

"Something might have happened last night. That reminded him of…her."

"The Wendy-lady? What has happened?" Stripes quickly told her about the book Peter had brought back and how he had reacted as they had read.

"But Pan needs to finish book. Pan needs to see what she says about him."

"I don't think he wants to remember," Stripes said sadly.

"Pan remembers anyway. You must finish book."

"What difference does it make? Wendy is long gone."

"She may still be somewhere on planet Earth. Pan may find her again." Stripes looked baffled.

"Come again?"

"We are all born again, Lost Boy. Our souls never leave. Wendy's soul is somewhere and Pan may find her again."

"Umm, if he finds her, will she remember him?"

"In time, perhaps. But he must want to find her. Finish the book. Find out how he really feels about her." Peter's appearance made them fall silent and Stripes quickly joined the other boys.

* * *

It was past mid-day when they finished hunting and returned to the hide out. James sprawled out on the floor and grasped a pillow to his chest.

"Can we read some more? I'd like to hear more about…her," he glanced at Peter, afraid he would explode but Peter's eyes remained on the floor. Stripes picked up the book and nodded.

" I think we should finish it. After all, it is about our leader."

"I don't talk that funny," Peter said, his nose wrinkled up. Stripes cocked his head.

"Do what now?"

"In the book, I sound funny. I don't talk like that. She did but I didn't."

"The book was written in the language of the time, Peter. And she's not the writer of the book anyway." Peter frowned.

"Then who is?" Stripes held the book up and pointed.

"J.M Barrie."

"WHO?!"

"That's what it says. I'm just pointing out what the cover says."

"I don't know any…J.M. Barrie," the name sounded funny on his tongue. "How does he know all of this then?" Stripes fought to keep from rolling his eyes. Peter was quite old but he could be SO thick sometimes.

"Obviously she told him everything and he wrote it down. Maybe he really liked the stories about you. And decided to put them in a book."

"I wish she would have kept some things to herself," he muttered. Like their thimbles. A horrible feeling settled over him and he gasped. The boys looked at him but he continued to stare at the floor. Would she have told him about that part? Surely not. That was a very private moment in their relationship, a very special situation.

"Flip to the end," he said, finding his voice again.

"But don't you want—"

"No. Flip to the end. See if you can find a fight scene between me and Hook." Stripes obeyed and flipped through the pages, his eyes scanning the words. Peter watched him in anticipation, biting his lip as he waited.

"There is a part and you force him off the plank, into the crocodile's mouth."

"That's it?" Peter said quietly.

"That's it." Peter let out a deep breath of relief and leaned back. Tink landed on his shoulder and gently touched his cheek. She knew what had happened that day. She knew what had happened between Peter and Wendy.

"So what really happened," Jack spoke up. Peter's eyes snapped to the lost boy and he sighed.

"It doesn't matter."

"So why don't you tell us?" James asked with a smile. Peter frowned.

"Cause I don't want to, ok?"

_Peter, tell them._ Peter glanced at Tink and saw her eyes were full of sadness and pity.

"They don't need to know every detail of my life, alright?" Angrily, he jumped to his feet and flew out of the hideout. James bit his lip.

"I didn't mean to upset him…I was just—"

"It's ok, James. It's not your fault. Peter is just…going through some things, that's all. He'll be back. Just let him cool down."


	5. Chapter 5

Peter flew as fast he could but had no idea where he was going. He just wanted to escape the thoughts and memories. He scowled as he soared through the stars. This was Neverland. WHY couldn't he forget? Neverland was supposed to be a place of childlike wonder and innocence, a place for play and fun. Not a place for memories and cherished thoughts of ones a heart might have raced for. He found himself lowering to the ground and he gasped. His happy thoughts were leaving him.

"No, no, no," he whispered, squeezing his eyes shut and concentrating on getting back into the air. But every time he would summon a happy thought, Wendy invaded his mind. And that turned into an unhappy thought as he remembered that she was gone. He landed on the cool grass and jumped into the air a few times before he found that he couldn't get back up.

"Fine, I'll walk," he snapped and kicked aside a few flowers in anger. He stopped, for a soft glow was coming from the tree nearest to him. He hesitantly approached and peered inside. The fairies were gathering to watch the King and Queen dance. Peter gazed at them in awe, resting his elbow on the tree and leaning against the bark. Their movements were graceful and beautiful, their lights shone brightly in the dark night. Peter heard a noise beside him and glanced over his shoulder. He saw himself rising to his feet and bowing low. A little girl curtsied in return and he held out his hand, which she slipped hers into. Peter gasped as he watched the two figures dance and his eyes followed Wendy as Peter gently spun her through the air. Peter clutched at his hair and closed his eyes.

"Make it stop," he moaned. "Please, just make the memories go away!"

"Is that what you truly desire, Peter Pan," said a soft voice beside him. He jumped to his feet and stared up at the two glowing fairies in front of him. The King clutched his Queen around the waist and her hands were intertwined with his. They were both watching Peter with a mixture of pity and sadness.

"Yes. It's what I desire," Peter said, lifting his chin.

"You would forget the girl completely?" The King said again. Peter bit his lip. He didn't want to forget his Wendy…but it was too painful to remember her.

"Do you have the powers to erase my memory, Your Majesties?"

"Of course we do, Peter. The question is, do you really want your memories erased? The memory of your first kiss?"

"Your first love," The Queen said softly and Peter's head snapped up. "Yes. We know that you felt love for her. And you denied your feelings, as most young men do."

"I'm not a man, I'm a boy," Peter said heatedly.

"Is being a boy everything you thought it would be, Peter? After your friends are long gone, you are still a boy. Alone and unloved." Peter gasped as the King's words brought back more memories.

Hook held him by the hair and had whispered in his ear with malice.

"You'll die alone and unloved," he had yanked the boy's head up to look at Wendy, who was being held by the pirate. The pirate hissed the same word in her ear and made her look directly at Peter. Their eyes had met and Peter felt a million things in his breaking heart.

"Just like me," Hook finished before he flung Peter to the deck and hovered over him, his deadly hook poised and ready. Peter heard Wendy and Nibs screaming and his eyes met Wendy's. He saw a glistening tear run down her cheek and he couldn't help but smile. The last thing he would see in this world would be her lovely face. He was alright with this. He knew by that tear that she would miss him. That he had touched her life. Her soul.

"Peter," the Queen jerked him from his thoughts and his damp eyes snapped back to her.

"Sorry," he muttered.

"Peter, we feel that you have suffered long enough. If it is what you truly wish, we will give you a potion that will erase your memories. While you sleep, all thoughts of the Lost Boys, of the Darlings, and of Wendy will leave you. You won't remember her when you wake and you will have no memory of her kiss." Instinctively, Peter's finger went to his lips and he could hear her voice whispering in his ear.

"This belongs to you. And always will." He still held her hidden kiss; despite the fact that she had grown up and gotten married, she had given her hidden kiss to him and as she had explained, only one person ever held a hidden kiss.

"I don't want to remember," he whispered. "But I don't want to forget." The King and Queen exchanged looks.

"Perhaps, then, you should return to London…and wait for her." Peter's head snapped up again and he frowned.

"What do you mean, wait for her? She's dead. She's been gone for years."

"Peter, have you ever heard of reincarnation?" Peter stared.

"ReincarWHAT?" The fairies exchanged looks again and the Queen folded her hands.

"Many religions around the world believe that the soul can be reborn in another body or animal. We have reason to believe that Wendy's soul has returned to Earth." Peter shifted uncomfortably.

"Why would you believe that?"

"We are fairies, Peter. We sense things. Neverland has been on the lookout for your Wendy ever since her death. Now we believe she has returned."

"Do not celebrate just yet, Peter," the King broke in. "Even if she has returned, it is only pieces of her soul. She will not know who you are until you can remind her. Only you will have the power to return her memories of Neverland and of you."

"But if you choose to erase your memories, you will not be able to do this." Peter stared at them in horror. Yet another thing he could not possibly understand, so did he believe in this? They were telling him his Wendy might still be alive…no, alive again. In someone else's body. And that he had to find her and remind her of who she used to be. He shook his head.

"Excuse me for saying this, but this sounds completely insane! I think I'd be better off just taking the potion."

"The choice is yours, Peter. We will give you the potion and you may decide. Choose wisely though. You must decide if not remembering at all would really help your heart." The Queen waved her hands and a glass vial appeared in the air. Peter reached out and took it and without another word, the fairies disappeared. Peter looked around uncertainly, wondering if any of that had just happened. But he held onto the glass vial and bit his lip.

"It was real. And I might get to see Wendy again." He felt his feet leaving the ground and he looked up and smiled. She was still his happy thought. There was no way he could ever forget about her. The stars above him twinkled at him innocently and he whispered his name as he rose higher and higher into the air.

_**April, break a leg on opening night! Let me know how it goes! You'll make an amazing Nibs, I'm sure ;)**_

_** And now, I hope this chapter has answered some questions. I also hope it's not too confusing/far fetched for you all. I have a feeling people are uncertain as to how to feel about it-that's totally fine, just keep reviewing and let me know what you think! I appreciate all feedback!**_

_**Have a great weekend everyone! :-)**_


	6. Chapter 6

Tucking the vial into his leaves, he flew back home to where the boys were still up and eating their dinner they had caught from the stream.

"Hey Peter. We saved you some fish, if you're hungry," Jack said uncertainly, gesturing toward the fish laid out on the paper.

"Thanks mates," he said softly as he sat down and devoured the fish. Tink landed beside him and glanced up at him shyly. Peter smiled and held out his hand for Tink to rest in. Smiling, the fairy pressed a kiss to his flesh and allowed him to finish eating. He noticed the boys were all watching him cautiously, almost afraid and he wanted to apologize. Of course, Peter Pan never apologized. Nevertheless, he cleared his throat and pushed his plate aside.

"I have something to confess to you lads." The boys all leaned in eagerly and even Tink looked intrigued. Peter touched his lips again and glanced at the floor.

"That Barrie fellow left out an important part of the story. I have a feeling Wendy kept it to herself. Something else happened on the _Jolly Roger_ that day." He paused and seemed hesitant to go on. James nodded eagerly.

"So what was it?" Peter glanced at him and back at the floor.

"I lost my happy thoughts," he said in the quietest voice possible. The boys' eyes widened and they all looked stunned beyond belief.

"How?"

"Hook taunted me and said…some words that made me…less than happy. I fell to the deck and Hook held his blade to my throat."

"What words did he say?"

"It doesn't matter," Peter said quickly, squeezing his eyes shut as he attempted to block out the memory of Hook's words about Wendy replacing him with a husband. After all, his words had come true.

"So how did you escape?"

"She saved me," he said quietly, a dreamy far-off look coming over his face.

"Your Wendy-lady?" Peter smiled at James's awe-struck look.

"Yes, my Wendy-lady. Hook was about to plunge his hook in me and Wendy stopped him. He threw her down beside me and she apologized for having to grow up. And she tricked him. She said she was giving me a thimble but she gave me her hidden kiss. And it saved my life." Only Jack and Stripes knew about hidden kisses so they were the only ones who reacted. But their reactions were enough to make Peter smile.

"She gave you her hidden kiss?" He nodded proudly.

"What's a hidden kiss?" Little Ray asked, puzzled. But no one answered the boy's question; they continued to stare at Peter.

"So then what happened," James asked, leaning forward.

"I was able to summon my happy thoughts back and beat him. I returned her to her home and said goodbye. I promised I'd be back but I never spoke to her again," he finished sadly, feeling slightly weak. Tink made a little groaning sound and patted his cheek gingerly.

"Is it true then," Stripes asked solemnly. "What they say around the island. You were in love." Peter's head snapped up and his wide eyes fixed on Stripes.

"That word offends me."

"Come off it, Peter! You loved her. Obviously she loved you. Why are you so damned hardheaded about this?"

"Even if I did…you know…it doesn't matter because it's too late. She's gone." Stripes remembered what Tiger Lily had said and he bit his lip. Should he mention it to Peter?

"Maybe…you can find her again," he said slowly. Peter stared at him, his jaw dropping.

"Excuse me?"

"It's something Tiger Lily told me today…about our souls being reborn. Wendy's might have been reborn and you might be able to find her again." Even though he had heard it from the King and Queen, Peter stared at Stripes as if he had gone mad.

"Do you realize how many people are in the real world? I wouldn't know where to begin looking for her!"

"How about London? That's where Wendy lived, wasn't it? Why don't you go back to London and try to blend in? It won't be easy but love never is." Peter winced at the word and shrugged his shoulders.

"How would I know it was her? How am I supposed to convince her that she knows me? This is impossible, lads. Completely and utterly hopeless."

"What's hopeless is your life if you continue on this way," Jack said heatedly. He rose to his feet and his hands went to his hips. "We hear about how different you used to be, happy and full of life. You're wasting away, Peter, and it's because you haven't forgotten about that girl. And you never will. And now you have a chance to find her again and you're a coward." Peter's face grew red in a matter of seconds.

"No one calls Pan a coward and lives."

"Then prove to us you're not a coward! Stop moping and go find her!"

"I'm not moping!"

"YES you are!"

"BOYS!" Stripes had leaped between Peter and Jack and was holding his hands out.

"Jack, you never speak to our leader like that. Peter, Jack's just trying to help. Let's all calm down and breathe." Tink cocked her head and chimed something that seemed to push Peter over the edge. Letting out an angry yell, Peter knocked the chair aside and stomped off to his room. The boys couldn't know what Tink had said but the words the fairy had said to Peter were very true.

"_You still love her. And it is killing you. Without love, Peter, you will die_."

* * *

_"Not bad! For an old man!" He jeered and laughed and flew circles around the old pirate._

_"I know what you are!"_

_"I'm the best there ever was!"_

_"You're a tragedy!"  
_

_"Me? Tragic?" _

_"She was leaving you, Pan!" His words made Peter freeze in midair. Hook grinned at him and glanced down at the girl who was fighting bravely. "Your Wendy was leaving you." Peter's eyes followed Hook's down to Wendy._

_"Why should she stay? What have you to offer? You are incomplete." Peter barely had time to block Hook's blow. "She'd rather grow up than stay with you." Hook flung him away and he fell into the rigging. Hook flew closer._

_"Let us now take a peep into the future. What is this I see? Tis the fair Wendy." Peter let out an angry cry and charged at Hook but Hook saw it coming and easily dodged it. With an evil grin, he continued. "She's in her nursery. The window's shut."_

_"I'll open it!" Peter cried, bringing his sword down._

_"I'm afraid the window's barred," Hook said casually, blocking the blade with his hook._

_"I'll call out her name," Peter said desperately._

_"She can't hear you."_

_"No," Peter wailed._

_"She can't see you."_

_"Wendy!"_

_"She's forgotten all about you." Peter's heart was breaking._

_"Stop! Please stop it!" Hook took advantage of Peter's weak moment and Peter felt his heavy boot meet his face. Peter went flying through the sails and struggled to regain his happy thoughts. Don't listen, he told himself. Don't listen to any of it. _

_Hook peered through and raised his brow. He almost had him. Just a bit more._

_"What is this I see? There is another in your place." Peter looked up to see Hook glowering down on top of him and he stared at the pirate in sadness and confusion. Another? Taking Peter's place? WHO?_

_"He is called husband," Hook growled. Peter tried one final time to summon a happy thought and thrust his sword upward. But Hook blocked it and with an almighty blow, his blade crashed against Peter's and sent the boy sprawling on the deck. Peter panted at the pirate's feet, defeated. _

_"She will never love you, Pan," Hook hissed in his ear. "You will always be a deficient little boy. Selfish. Alone. And Unloved."_

* * *

Peter sat straight up in bed, panting heavily. A slick sweat had broken out over his bare chest and his face and he ran his fingers through his tousled curls. His thimble dangled next to his heart and he glanced down at it.

"Wendy," he moaned as he shook his head. He threw the covers back and his feet touched the cold floor. He paced the room several times, not really knowing what to do next. He entered the main room and found the book lying on the table where Stripes had left it. Reaching for it, he flipped through the pages until he stopped at a page near the end. The illustration was beautiful and sent memories flooding back to Peter. A boy clad in leaves and vines, was zooming through the clouds and he held the hand of a young girl wearing a simple white nightgown. Her blonde curls blew around her head and the look on her face was one of exhilaration as she clutched tightly to the boy's hand. Peter's hand touched the page and gently stroked the girl's face. Closing his eyes, he remembered the rush of joy he felt as he had whizzed through the sky with his Wendy by his side. He remembered her look of elation and adoration as she looked at him, holding onto his hand. He remembered how his heart had raced faster than he flew. His eyes shot open and he closed the book. With a determined look that never left his face, he quickly packed a satchel of some things and stuffed the book inside. Slinging the bag over his shoulder, he cast the hideout one last look before he leaped into the sky and took off toward the stars. When the boys and Tink had awoken to find Peter missing, they knew there was a distinct possibility that was the last they had ever seen of him.


	7. Chapter 7

To say that Peter Pan is patient is laughable. So it comes as no surprise that after a week of waiting for a girl who looked like Wendy to appear, Peter was growing very frustrated and discouraged and was seriously considering flying back to Neverland and swallowing down that potion. But the thimble against his heart seemed to burn him every time he had these thoughts and the girl in his dreams made him stay and keep searching.

Peter moved around a lot and perhaps that is why Tink was not able to find him for a good while. She had no idea how he was surviving in the real world but he was doing a fine job of it. After almost a month of being in the mortal realm, Tink felt Peter's presence and her wings lit up as she raced to his side.

Peter was stunned that his fairy was able to find him and was incredibly grateful to her for coming to him. She rested in his palm and he held her close to his cheek as she chimed at him.

"I'm really happy to see you too, Tink!"

_Any luck?_

"No. It's like I told the boys and the King and Queen. It's impossible to find her. I keep searching all over England and I even went to that America place a few weeks ago but that would have taken me years to search! I just don't have a clue Tink," he added sadly. Her wings drooped for a moment but she patted his cheek and gave him a smile.

_Peter, you're connected to Wendy in a way you've never connected to anyone before. Except perhaps me. But I can always feel when you're close. Maybe you can feel Wendy's soul. Try finding her that way. With your heart, not with your eyes."_

"Tink, why do you think that would work now? If that really did work, don't you think I would have felt it when she d-…after it happened?"

_Not necessarily. Maybe losing her made you realize how very special she was to you. Neverland has changed over the years, Peter, because you have changed. The boys are right; you used to be so full of life and fun. I'm not saying you're not anymore but you're not as lively as you once were. And I think she has something to do with that. Or the fact that you have lost her, anyway._

Peter smiled down at the fairy.

"When did you get so smart, Tink?"

_I've always been smart. You've just never listened to me._

Peter chuckled and shook his head.

"Ok. How do I do it?"

_Close your eyes. Listen to your heart. Remember her. Remember what she looked like, how her hair smelled, the feel of her hand in yours. Close your eyes, Peter! Concentrate. _

"Tink, I can't do this—"

_C__lose them now. _Tink took a deep breath. If Peter was going to be stubborn about this, she would delve even deeper. She had never liked the Wendy-bird but she loved her for what joy she had brought to Peter. She hated her for the pain she had brought him. And she missed her because Peter missed her. She also knew with one glance that her Peter was growing weaker. Going hundreds of years without loving something…well, mermaids could do it but their hearts were made of ice. Little boys couldn't do it. Not even extraordinary boys who could fly. He needed love in his life. The kind of love that Tinkerbell and the Lost Boys couldn't give him. She didn't know what would happen if he stayed here in the mortal world much longer but she was ready for him to come back to Neverland. And he wouldn't do that unless he found her.

_Remember the way she pressed her lips to yours…feel them, Peter. Remember what she tasted like. How she felt pressed against you._

Peter's eyes shot open and he was growing redder by the minute.

"Tink! She rolled her eyes again.

_I'm trying to help you, you silly ass. Why are you so stubborn_?

"I remember her clearly, Tink, but what does—"

_You need to start doing something you have never done. Feel with your heart and not your head! Try._

Peter obeyed and closed his eyes again. He felt a warm glow come from somewhere in his chest and he frowned. The thimble seemed to be radiating heat and he felt a strange rushing feeling.

"Wait a second." He opened his eyes and looked around. Without a word, he jumped into the air and flew into the London skyline.

_Peter! _ He slowed down, remembering he had left Tink and he cast her an apologetic look.

_What are you feeling?_

"Some kind of weird feeling, right here," he touched his heart and frowned again. "What is it Tink?"

_Peter, you know what it is. But you'll always be just a boy if you can never say the words._

"I don't ever want to be anything else!" Tink merely shook her head, a sad look on her tiny face. If Peter didn't stop denying his feelings, Tink had a feeling the consequences could be terrible. Peter was no longer paying attention to the fairy; his attention had shifted to a building below them. Teenagers were spread all over the lawn, coming to and from. Most of them had large black bags slung over their shoulders and some of them were dressed very funny, in Peter's opinion. He dropped lower and hid behind one of the bushes. Tink dropped to his shoulder and tugged on his curls.

_Peter, you better not be seen! You don't look like one of them, not one bit!_

"They're dressed pretty strangely too, Tink," he said, his eyes darting from one kid to another, most of them wearing tights and leotards.

_Not like that! You're wearing leaves and flowers for crying out loud._

"I don't have a single flower on me," he said in a disgusted tone. The fairy rolled her eyes.

_Would you listen to me for once?_

"Where's your sense of adventure, Tink?" his eyes sparkled as he grinned and walked out into the open. Tink watched him with her jaw wide open.

_He picks NOW to be adventurous and himself again?! Unbelievable! _

* * *

Peter walked around the lawn, his head twisting and turning taking in the sights. It was fascinating to just people watch. He couldn't believe how much had changed. So many new sights and smells and new fashions and sounds and it was all wonderful! He was about to leap into the air and soar overhead but stopped himself as his feet were about to leave the ground. At the same time, Tink landed in his curls and hid.

_Don't you DARE! _

"Tink, would you get out of here? Fairies aren't really supposed to mingle with mortals."

_Neither are magical flying boys!_

He frowned and shook his head.

"Buzz off. I'll call you if I need you." She stuck her tongue out at him and blew a large raspberry before she flew away. He watched her go until he heard a sound that made his heart drop.

"Oy! Peter Pan!" Going white as a sheet, he turned to see three teens hurrying toward him. He gulped as they towered over him. Peter was not one to feel fear but here in this strange new world, he was secretly terrified.


	8. Chapter 8

The two boys and the girl looked him up and down and looked puzzled for a moment. Peter studied them while they studied him. The boys were dressed alike, in black tights and see-through red shirts. The girl wore a long pink skirt and her hair was twisted up in a bun.

"Is that the costume Madame Higgins decided to go with? Strange."

"I like it," said the girl, studying Peter. "It's very Neverland-ish!"

"So you're our Peter, huh?"

"Umm…yes?"

"You look really young. Madame doesn't usually let first years have starring roles, you know. You must be really good." Peter looked baffled. The boy who spoke to him grinned and held out his hand.

"Well, I'm Jonathan. I'm your right hand man! And this is Hugh and Cora. Hugh is Nibs and Cora is Tiger Lily." The blank, baffled expression on Peter's face never left because Jonathan cocked his head.

"Are you a transfer student?"

"Umm, yeah. From…umm…America?" He asked hopefully. Cora suddenly looked impressed.

"That's wicked! No wonder Madame gave you the part. Peter Pan should be American, you know."

"No he shouldn't. Barrie said Peter ran away to Kensington Gardens and met the fairies there. That means he lived here in London."

"As a baby, yes, but then he flew away to Neverland!"

"And you think his accent left him?"

"He was a baby, you fool. He wouldn't have had an accent!"

"WHY are we even talking about the bloke like he's real," Hugh interrupted. "He's a fictional character. Lay off the fighting."

"So what's your real name, mate?"

"Umm…Peter," Peter replied quietly.

"Peter playing Peter. Wicked." The bell overhead rang and Cora jumped.

"Oh bloody hell, Stokes is going to be on our arses if we're late again! See you at rehearsal, Peter!" She hurried off with Jonathan right behind her. Hugh stayed where he was and he crossed his arms.

"What's your next class?"

"Umm…I'm finished for the day."

"Cool. Want to come along to the rehearsal hall with me? Madame Higgins asked that I come and help with some of the set pieces. I suppose since you're Peter Pan, you should help with your show." He chuckled and nudged Peter but Peter failed to see what was so funny.

"Oh bloody hell, here she comes," Hugh said suddenly, straightening up and flinging his bag over his other shoulder. Peter glanced up at him (as he was at least an inch taller) and saw Hugh running his fingers through his hair. Peter looked around, confused, and his eyes landed on what Hugh was panicking about. The girl walking toward them was slender and beautiful; she wore a black leotard and a short blue skirt. Her hair was in a tight bun at the back of her head and she wore thick liner on her eyes. Peter thought she was beautiful and obviously, so did Hugh. The girl stopped a few inches away and reached up to her bun, her fingers pulling at the pins and allowing her long blonde curls to flow down her waist. With a start, Peter realized it was the girl he had nearly flattened that day.

"Hey Gwen," Hugh said casually. The girl approached them and smiled.

"How's it going, Hugh?"

"Quite well, thanks. Just heading to the rehearsal hall to work on set pieces. You just come from class?"

"Yep. Trying to perfect that pique pirouette."

"You'll get it, you're the best dancer at this school." Hugh giggled nervously and Peter raised a brow. THIS amused him. It was like a little brother watching his big brother try to ask a girl out. Peter found it hilarious. Probably because he had never suffered from this stammering, tongue-tied-ness that comes with fancying someone.

"Thanks Hugh. Who's this?"

"This is Peter, a transfer student from America. He's our Peter Pan!" Gwen's eyes widened.

"Really? I thought Mary got the part!" Peter wrinkled his nose.

"Mary is a girl's name."

"Yes," Gwen said slowly. Peter shook his head.

"Why would a girl play me?"

"The part of Peter Pan has always been played by girls. It's been like that since the play opened!"

"That makes no sense," Peter said, looking downright horrified that a girl had been playing him for years.

"Yes it does. A girl can perfect the articulate movements that come with flying faster than a boy can. Plus it's easier to get a girl into the air with rigging. Nina Boucicault was the first Peter Pan when it debuted on stage, December 27th, 1904. The title became _The Boy Who Wouldn't Grow Up_. Quite appropriate."

"When it should have been _Selfish Little Boy and His Bratty Ways_," Hugh said with a smile. Peter's face went red and he was about to make an angry retort but Gwen puffed her chest out and shook her locks back.

"Peter Pan is the best fictional character there's ever been! He flies and fights and crows and lives in Neverland! Why does adventure and youth have to be selfishness and bratty?" Hugh bit his lip and took a step back but Peter's eyes sparkled as they met Gwen's. He gave her a broad smile, which she returned, in spite of herself.

"I guess I'd er…I'd better get to the rehearsal hall. Peter, you coming mate?"

"I'll catch up. I have something for Gwen, actually." Hugh looked surprised and angry for a moment but he nodded and stomped away. Peter bit his lip; he hadn't meant to anger his new friend. But he reached into his bag and pulled out the copy of _Peter Pan_.

"I believe this is yours," he said quietly, handing it to her. She gasped and grabbed it, her fingers running down its cover.

"Oh my god, where did you find this?" She looked back at him and her eyes widened.

"You're the boy I ran into that day…who nearly jumped on top of me."

"Yeah. Sorry about that."

"I can't believe you still have it."

"Well I tried to find you to return it to you," he lied. "I'm sorry it took so long." She giggled.

"No, it's alright. Thank you so much for returning this to me. This book is really old and was a gift from my grandmother. Plus it's my favorite story." He brightened and had to fight to keep the smugness out of his voice.

"It is?"

"Oh yes. I am so excited to be a part of the play, it's a dream come true. It's my favorite book but I have been researching my character so much lately. My mum says I'm a bit obsessed," she finished with a giggle. Peter's grin grew.

"Who's your character?" Gwen swept into a perfect curtsy and smiled.

"Wendy Moira Angela Darling," she said in a prim and proper voice. Peter's throat had gone dry and he was finding it difficult to breathe.

_What is your name?_

_What is your name?_

_Wendy Moira Angela Darling._

_Peter. Pan._

"Peter, are you alright?" He snapped awake and shook his head. Wendy disappeared and Gwen stood before him. Now that he studied her closer, he saw there was much resemblance. Gwen was older than Wendy had been but he imagined, had he gone to visit her more often, Wendy would have looked much like this. Peter's eyes went to Gwen's lips and he let out a little gasp as he noticed something twinkling in the corner of her mouth. Gwen's bright eyes were boring into his and he gulped.

"Sorry," he muttered.

"Well, I suppose I had better get to my next class. I expect I'll see you at rehearsal?" Peter half nodded, half shrugged and Gwen clutched her book to her chest.  
"Thank you again for returning this. Bye Peter!" He waved faintly as she hurried off and was left waving like an idiot. He flung his bag over his shoulder and he hurried behind the bushes. When he was out of sight, he leaped into the air and landed on the roof of the school. Tink landed beside him and sat Indian-style, her arms crossed.

_Well?_

"I think I've found her, Tink."


	9. Chapter 9

_**Thank you guys so much for your kind thoughts and reviews! I wasn't too sure about this story at first and sorta struggled but seeing your words definitely helped me continue on and now I feel like it's heading in a good direction. So thank you from the bottom of my heart!**_

Peter paced the school lawn for hours, trying to figure out how to talk to Gwen again. He obviously wasn't a part of the play so he couldn't just stroll into rehearsal. He asked Tink to use fairy dust on the professor to make her "forget" who she had cast but Tink had stamped on that one. Peter ran his finges through his curls in frustration and leaned against the brick wall.

"What am I supposed to do," he asked the night air.

"Peter?' He whirled around and his eyes widened when he saw Gwen coming down the steps.

"Peter, where were you? You missed rehearsal…and Mary said that she DID get the part!"

"Uh, yeah…I went to Madame Higgins and uh, told her I couldn't accept the part." Gwen frowned.

"But why? I think you'd make a perfect Peter!"

"Thanks but I really have to focus on…um, school work."

"You're a first year, aren't you?" Having no idea what she was talking about, he merely shrugged.

"Gwen, I, uh…I was wondering…" he swallowed bitterly as he realized that he was now the one who was stammering and losing his thoughts. Gwen was watching him, looking politely confused.

"I was wondering…if you'd like to go get something to eat."

"Oh! Sure, that sounds nice." Peter was stunned that she had accepted and he nodded eagerly. Gwen's eyes traveled him up and down and she let out a little giggle.

"Are you going to keep the Peter Pan costume still?' He quickly glanced down at his leaves and bit his lip.

"Of course not. Let me go return this…I'll be right back." Gripping his bag, he entered the school and looked around frantically. Deciding he would try some of the empty classrooms, he searched for something else to wear. Tink flitted from room to room with him as he grew more frustrated.

"Why didn't I think to bring normal clothes with me," he grunted as he slammed the classroom door shut.

_You don't even own any normal clothes! You would be laughed at in Neverland._

"And I'll be laughed at here wearing this. Come on, Tink, help me!" He heard her laughing and he turned to see her holding up a pair of black tights.

_Why don't you try these on? I'm sure you'll look positively smashing!_ She fought to keep the laugher out of her voice but Peter cast one look at the tights and his face darkened.

"There's no way in Neverland I'll put those on!"

_It's what the rest of the boys are wearing, didn't you see? Besides, do you see anything else?_

Peter stared at the tights and considered just flying back to Neverland and forgetting this whole thing.

"Ugh," he moaned as he yanked the tights from her hands and struggled for the next ten minutes to put them on. He found a form-fitting blue Tee shirt and he glanced down at himself.

"Not a single word to ANYONE, Tinkerbell." Tink was doubled up in fits of laughter and he threw his leaves at her, hitting her square in the face.

He made his way back outside and was relieved to see that Gwen was still there. She smiled as he approached and her eyes did a quick survey of him.

"Well you definitely look like a dancer in that," she said with a smile.

"Isn't that what I'm supposed to look like?" he asked quietly.

"Well you go to one of the most prestigious dance academies in London so I'd say yes. Come on, there's a cute little diner around the corner." She tugged on his arm and he hurried after her as he tried not to squirm in his new clothes. He could still hear Tink laughing behind him.

Peter was amazed at how easy it was to talk to Gwen. It reminded him of the talks he had had with Wendy in Neverland. She was fun and full of life, her eyes sparkled with adventure and mischief and she spoke longingly of all of the great adventures she would one day have while she traveled the world as a dancer. He sipped on his cola and listened, his eyes wide and a broad smile never leaving his face.

"So what is Gwen short for," he asked after she had stopped talking long enough to take a bite.

"Gwendolyn. It's an awful medieval name, sort of a version of Wendy. My mum thought it was sweet. She knows how to torture me." Peter smiled.

"I like it. It suits you."

"Well thanks. Tell me about America." Peter almost choked on his drink and he coughed.

"Um, w-what about it?"

"Tell me everything! I'm dying to go. Especially New York. Have you been to New York?"

"Um…yeah. Loads of times."

"Really? What's it like?"

"Um…it's big," he offered. She nodded eagerly and he groaned inwardly to himself. WHAT was he getting himself into?

"And um…there's lots of buildings. With lights."

"Oh, the lights of Broadway," she said dreamily. "I dream of going there."

"Well why don't you?"

"I don't have that kind of money! Of course I'd love to perform there one day but I can't afford to fly there. After I perform around the world, I plan to write a novel of all of my adventures!"

"What sort of adventures," he said curiously. She merely shrugged.

"I have yet to have them. But they shall be perfectly thrilling." Peter smiled again.

"You remind me so much of someone."

"Really? Who?"

"Wendy," he said without thinking. She frowned, looking a little confused and Peter quickly realized what he had said.

"Uh, that is, all of the stuff I have read about her, you know? You just…act just like her. From what I read, I mean." Gwen blushed and smiled.

"That's a huge compliment. I do so admire Wendy Darling Pan-Ferrison." Peter actually did choke on his drink this time; he clapped his chest several times and focused his eyes on Gwen's.

"I'm sorry…what was her full name?"

"Wendy Darling Pan-Ferrison," she repeated. "It's such a lovely, tragic story. She wanted to keep her last name when she married but she started to call herself Wendy Pan, supposedly as a tribute to her first love. When she married John Ferrison, she refused to drop the name Pan. So she hyphenated it and was called Pan-Ferrison." Peter's heart had started to race.

"Who…who was her first love?"

"Well it's a mystery. No one knows the name of her first love, as she refused to tell anyone. Not even her own daughter. I always like to fantasize that it was Peter Pan," she missed his gasp as she continued. "It's silly but I think it's quite romantic. I do love a good tragic love story. Like Romeo and Juliet."

"Who?"

"William Shakespeare? Do not tell me you've never heard of Romeo and Juliet," seeing his blank stare she let out a cry of exasperation and shook her head, "only the most famous love story in the world! They were enemies but fell in love. Their families were in the middle of a feud and they died for love."

"That's terrible," he said quietly.

"Yes, but so romantic!"

"What's romantic about death?" Her wide eyes found his and they seemed to be gazing into his soul.

"If you don't die for love, what do you die for?" Peter grew uncomfortable and he squirmed in his seat.

"So you think Peter Pan was her first love?" She nodded, picking up her glass and sipping through her straw.

"She was the one who gave Barrie the idea for the Peter Pan stories. She would sit and tell her brothers the stories for hours and they were all about him. He's real, I just know it." Peter swallowed and shifted again.

"But…he's just a fictional character…I thought." For some reason, Gwen looked a little uncomfortable.

"You can make fun of me too, you wouldn't be the first."

"Why would I make fun of you," he asked, shocked.

"Because I believe. My mum and dad call me childish and say I have to grow up. But I'll always believe in him." Peter's heart swelled and he leaned in close.

"Perhaps one day he'll fly through your window and whisk you off to Neverland," he whispered. She shivered and it had nothing to do with the cold.

"I dream of that every night." Her words went straight to Peter's heart. It had to be Wendy come back to him. There could be no other explanation. Getting excited, he reached over and took her hand.

"Wendy," he said quietly.

She jerked her hand back and stared at him.

"It's Gwen, remember?"

"Yeah but…you're her. You've got to be!" Her brow furrowed and she started to look a little alarmed. Peter leaned forward.

"Come on, you don't recognize me? Not even a little?"

"What in bloody hell are you on about, Peter? I think you're letting fiction and fantasy get into your life a bit too much."

"No," he groaned in frustration. "You just can't remember! Think! Remember me." She suddenly stood and he blinked in shock.

"You're mad," she said softly. "And I should be going."

"Wait! Gwen, wait!" She had hurried out of the restaurant and Peter slammed the table in disappointment.

"What did I expect? For her to just jump into my arms," he said into his hands. He hurried out of the restaurant, intent on following her and apologizing but he didn't see her anywhere. He saw a flash of light and turned away from Tink.

"Now now, Tink."

_But what happened?_

"I don't want to talk about it, alright?" He turned his face upward towards the stars and let out a deep sigh.

"I give up. I'm going home." He leaped into the air and his path was blocked by Tink.

_Peter, you can't give up! You set out to find Wendy and remind her of who she was. So that's what you need to do._

"I can't Tink" he yelled, tears welling in his eyes. "I'm done. It didn't work. Even if I did find her, she won't believe me. It's time to forget about her." Tink's eyes widened as Peter reached into his leaves and pulled out the potion the fairies had given him.

_Peter, no! Don't do this!_

"I can't do this, Tink," he turned to her with tears streaming down his cheeks. "Every moment I'm awake, I think of her. And every moment I'm asleep, I dream of her! Dream of what could have been. I should have found a way to keep her in Neverland with me, so she wouldn't die. She could have stayed and lived with me forever!"

_She wanted to grow up. She wanted a family. She wanted love. And you couldn't give those things to her._

"I could have!" he screamed back, squeezing his eyes shut. He hovered in the air and hung his head. "I could have given her all of that! I just didn't know how!"

_What do you feel, Peter? Anger? Sadness? Jealousy? _

Peter winced as Tink repeated Wendy's words from long ago. He knew what was coming and he braced himself for the next word.

_Love?_

Peter took a deep breath and closed his eyes.

"Yes. I love her Tink. I loved her then and I love her now." He let out a pained cry and clutched his stomach. Tink flew closer to him, her eyes widening in horror. Peter felt his spine curl and his entire body shaking with pain.

_Peter, what's wrong?!_

"It hurts Tink! What's happening to me?" He bit his lip to keep from crying out as he held his stomach with both hands. Overwhelmed by the pain, he dropped from the air and Tink screamed as she watched him fall, helpless, to the ground.


	10. Chapter 10

Peter awoke to the feel of someone dabbing a wet cloth on his face and he groaned.

"Looks like the lad is coming to," he heard a voice say. "How are you feeling, young man?" Man? He still hated that word. He shook his head and the dabbing stopped. He saw a bright light shine through his eyes and he groaned again.

"Tink, stop it," he muttered.

"Can you open your eyes, lad?" He heard the voice again. It was kindly but gruff. Peter's eyes fluttered open and he saw a heavyset man with a bushy mustache leaning over him, holding some sort of light close to his face.

"Well, good, you're awake. Been sleeping for almost two days now."

"Two days?" Peter repeated, his voice sounding cracked and dry. He swallowed but found it painful.

"Ah, I'll be back in a moment." The man disappeared and returned in moments with a glass of water. Peter gratefully took it and touched the glass to his dry lips.

"Now then, do you know who you are?" He was about to answer but he feared the man would lock him up in the madhouse.

"Peter Darling, son of George and Mary." The words spilled from his mouth and he looked shocked as soon as he had said them. The man wrote something down and looked at him again.

"How old are you?"

"Um." He couldn't exactly tell the man he was ageless. And he had no idea how old he truly was or even how old he seemed to be. A little boy was all he knew.

"Th-thirteen?" The man chuckled, his belly shaking immensely as he did so.

"Oh dear me, lad. You're at least sixteen, I wager." Peter stared at him in shock. Sixteen?! No, he couldn't be. That was almost a man. He shook his head.

"I can't be," he said quietly. Luckily, the man hadn't heard him. He was checking Peter's vitals and he nodded.

"Everything seems to be in order. You were found on the lawn of The Royal Ballet School, unconscious. You were brought here, to Great Ormond Street. We couldn't find anything wrong with you really except that you wouldn't wake up. Do you remember what happened?"

"I had…really bad pain. In my stomach. Well all over. I must have…passed out from it."

"Pain will do that," the man nodded. "We'll get some blood work and run some tests. I'll be back shortly." Peter nodded and watched the man leave. He twisted around to see his room but it was pretty bare; there were a few pictures on the walls and a fake plant on the table but that was it really. Peter leaned back in the bed and shut his eyes.

The doctor returned with a nurse and they pushed a tray of lots of things that terrified Peter. His eyes widened when he saw the needle the nurse pulled out and he grimaced openly. The doctor patted his arm.  
"Don't worry lad, it'll only hurt for a moment." Peter let out a scream as the needle entered him and the nurse lay a calming hand on his shoulder.

"Breathe, lad, it'll be over soon." Why were they taking his blood? Were they trying to weaken him? Were they holding him hostage? What was this place? The doctor had seemed kind but now he wasn't sure. He wanted Tink. He wanted the Lost Boys. He wanted Neverland.

The nurse finished and quickly bandaged his arm. She hurried out and the doctor patted his arm again.

"I'm going to wait for these tests before I give you anything to eat. Perhaps one of them will tell us why there was pain. Would you like to call your parents?"

"Um…they're out of town. On holiday," he quickly lied.

"Do you have any other family? I would hate for you to be here alone if you needed to stay a few days." But Peter shrugged.

"I'm used to being alone," he replied. The doctor's brow raised and he nodded.

"Very well. My name is Doctor Darlinger, if you need anything. I'll be back shortly." Peter leaned his head back on the pillow and felt sleep tugging at him, which he gladly succumbed to.

* * *

When he awoke again, the nurse was rolling in a tray of food and Peter heard his stomach rumbling.

"Here you are, dear. Doctor Darlinger says it is safe for you to eat something. Your blood pressure is a bit high but apart from that, you're healthy and fit."

"Does that mean I can go home," he asked as he eagerly dug into the meal.

"Not just yet," she said gently. "He wants to monitor you in case you have any more fits."

"They weren't fits. I just blacked out for a moment," he said grumpily.

"Be that as it may, he wants you to stay overnight. But if you would like to finish your meal, you can hurry on down to the Peter Pan Ward for story time. I daresay you are a little old for a bedtime story but Miss Darlinger tells wonderful stories. Even the staff loves to hear them." Peter's head was spinning.

"Peter Pan Ward? Miss Darlinger? As in Doctor Darlinger?"

"As in Doctor Darlinger's daughter. And yes, the Peter Pan Ward is our childrens' ward. Miss Darlinger likes to visit the wee ones and tell them stories. Here is a plain set of trousers you may borrow if you like." She handed him the clothes and hurried from the room. Peter stared after her, his jaw agape. He was pretty sure he would lose his mind if he discovered anymore. Nevertheless, he threw back the covers and put his feet on the cold floor. He felt a little shaky at first but steadied himself and glanced down at the hospital gown he was clad in. He shivered as a cold breeze wrapped around him and he quickly donned the clothes in his hands. Wishing he had shoes for the floor was quite cold, he slowly made his way out of the room and down the long hall.

Peter was already an impatient boy and getting lost in a hospital did not help his temper much. He angrily stopped by the help desk to ask where he could find the Childrens Ward (he couldn't bring himself to say the real name) and the smiling lady pointed him in the direction. As Peter walked, he found his strength returning. He still felt a small amount of pain lingering around his chest but he shrugged it off and continued on his way.

As Peter traveled down several flights, he looked around curiously, taking in the sights and sounds. He had never been around a hospital and decided he didn't like it one bit. Too many crying children, too much coughing and pained moans. Not enough smiles and laughter. No, he hated hospitals, he decided. He was ready to leave this place, that was for certain. But a sight on the other side of the window made all thoughts leave him and he froze. Very slowly, he made his way to the window and pressed his hands against the glass. For there in the garden was a bronze statue of a boy who seemed to be in mid-flight. He was bare-chested and wore trousers made of leaves. A tiny fairy was clutching his finger, which was held outright, with a look of mischief on his bronze face. Peter's jaw dropped as he looked at the statue of himself, completely awestruck. It did look like him, he had to give them that. He wondered if Wendy had given that Barrie chap a detailed description of what he looked like. He then started to wonder about the adjectives that she might have used. Had handsome and extraordinary been a part of her vocabulary? He grinned at the thought. He turned away and caught sight of himself in the mirror near the window. He gasped and moved closer. His hands went to his face and he seemed to be feeling if he was real. His face was more defined, his jawline more chiseled and he had rippling muscles on his bare chest. He turned his face this way and that, making faces, to be sure it was really him.

"I'm a man," he whispered.

"Not really," came a voice from behind him. He whirled around to find a young girl with deep brown eyes, sitting in a wheelchair. But she was smiling and she wheeled closer to him.

"You have a few years before you're a man, don't you worry. I'm Charlotte, by the way."

"Peter," he replied. Charlotte giggled.

"I suppose you'll feel right at home in this hospital then. It has Peter Pan things all over the place."

"So I've been told," was his reply. She cocked her head.

"Well, speaking of, would you like to accompany me to the Peter Pan Ward? My friend is telling stories to the little ones."

"Ok." She wheeled backward and lead the way down the hall, Peter following.


	11. Chapter 11

Peter heard the giggles of children and was instantly reminded of the Lost Boys. He felt a pang as he realized he missed them. Charlotte stopped and turned to smile at him. She put a finger to her lips before she opened the door. Peter could see at least ten young children, no older than five, all sitting in the floor or in their beds and turned toward the back of the room. He saw a figure pressed against the wall, her face turned away from them all and in a crouching position, holding an umbrella above her head like a sword.

"So Pan, this is all your doing. To which Peter replied, Aye James Hook, it's all my doing. And Hook pulled his sword from his sheath and held it before him. Proud and insolent youth, he said, prepare to meet thy doom. And Peter cried, have at thee!" She jumped in the air and thrust her umbrella around, causing the children to shriek with laughter. She whirled around and Peter gasped; the light made Gwen's face glow beautifully and her smile was evident, her eyes sparkling. Peter watched her reenact his great battle with Hook. The children and Charlotte started calling out supportive words, making believe that Gwen was Peter. Peter watched silently, vastly amused. The children were loving every minute of it; several of the staff were sitting on the beds with some children who could not move from their beds and were clapping and cheering along with the rest of them. Gwen spun around and lowered her umbrella.

"And Peter kicked Hook to the crocodile and Hook cried "bad form" before he fell into the monster's jaws. Thus perished Captain James Hook." The room exploded into cheers and applause and Gwen smiled around at all of them.

"Yay for Peter Pan," cried a little boy no older than three and Gwen bent down and hugged him around the middle.

"Another story, Gwendy," another cried and Gwen opened her mouth to answer but saw Charlotte waving to her from the back of the room. Peter sucked in a breath at the nickname the children had called her. It hit much too close to home, he felt.

"I'll be back in a moment, dear ones." She heard disappointed groans and smiled at them as she passed. She reached Charlotte and reached down to hug her.

"Always quite the storyteller," Charlotte said as she hugged her friend.

"You know me," Gwen said with a smile. "How are you feeling?"

"It comes and goes. I hear congratulations are in order. Little Gwendy is playing Wendy Darling, then?"

"You know this is the only place I acknowledge that nickname. But yes, it's true. And I expect you to be at opening night." Charlotte squeezed her hand.

"You know I wouldn't miss it. I very much miss dance class," she added sadly. Gwen looked saddened.

"You'll be dancing again in no time."

"Not this time, Gwendy. Fairy dust and happy thoughts can't fix this. The doctors say the cancer has spread from my leg to the other cartilage. They don't think I'll walk again."

"You will," Gwen said firmly. "and you'll be dancing with me in New York one day."

"That's my Gwen. Always dreaming. Always believing." Gwen gave her a sad smile and turned to Peter.

"Who's your friend?"

"Oh I just met him in the hall but he looked quite blue so I asked him to come along to hear your story. Peter, isn't it?" Peter nodded and Gwen's eyes darted to his.

"Peter?" she repeated. Peter slowly nodded, his gaze boring into hers. She gasped and took a step back. Charlotte did not notice and she wheeled forward a little.

"You should ask her out for a date, Peter. She refuses to date the eligible lads at the school. Unless you attend the Royal Ballet School, that is?"

"I don't dance much," he said with a smile, never tearing his eyes from Gwen's. Charlotte giggled.

"I should get back upstairs. Gwen, come see me before you leave? Gwen?" Gwen tore her eyes from Peter's and shook her head.

"Oh. Of course Charlotte. I'll be up momentarily." Charlotte squeezed her hand again and wheeled backward out of the room.

"Nice to have met you Peter," she called as she rolled away.

"You too," he muttered, still staring straight forward. When she was gone, Gwen spoke very quietly.

"It can't be. You can't be the boy I met several days ago. Tell me you're not that boy."

"I'm not," he said quietly. But Gwen stamped her foot.

"Yes you are! You're different but your eyes are the same. Tell me the truth."

"You just said I wasn't. Now you're sure I am. Would you make up your mind?"

"Peter, WHO are you?"

"You just answered your own question." Gwen folded her arms and looked cross.

"Stop playing games with me."

"I'm not!"

"Yes you are. Come on." She grabbed his arm and dragged him out into the hallway, away from the stares of the children and staff. His arm tingled where she touched him but she did not release her hold on him until they were far from the ward. They stopped in front of a beautiful stained glass window and Peter turned to stare at it, captivated. It depicted a baby and fairies emerging, clearly the beginning of fairies. Gwen started to speak but saw what he was staring at and smiled.

"When the first baby laughed for the first time, its laugh broke into a thousand pieces, and they all went skipping about, and that was the beginning of fairies," Peter read a loud.

"Is that true?" Gwen asked, staring up at the window. Peter raised his brow and glanced sideways at her.

"Why are you asking me?"

"You claim to be Peter Pan. You should know." He merely shrugged and turned away. Gwen watched him as he kept his back to her.

"You didn't deny it."

"I didn't confirm it either. I don't know what you're talking about Gwen. If you'll excuse me," he started off to head back to his room but was blocked by a glowering Gwen.

"Don't insult my intelligence. I may believe in childish things like Peter Pan and fairies but I'm not stupid."

"I never said you were stupid nor did I call those things childish. But you want the truth and I'm afraid I can't give it to you. Excuse me." He moved sideways but was blocked again. He threw his hands up in the air and gave her an irritated glare.

"What do you want me to say?"

"I want the truth," she repeated.

"I told you the truth. You called me mad. There's nothing more I can say." Gwen was stunned and allowed him to move by this time. She didn't stop him as he trudged up the stairs and back to his room. Her mind raced. She didn't know if she believed him or not. If he was lying, it was a very farfetched lie and one that would not gain him anything but a trip to the institution. And if it was the truth, she was in for a very big adventure.

* * *

Peter found himself feeling weak and drained as he made it back to the room, threw the shirt aside, and collapsed on the bed. He had just shut his eyes when Gwen appeared around the corner and peered into his room. She stared at the handsome teen lying on the bed, his blanket pulled around his waist, leaving his muscular chest bare. His golden curls looked tousled, his skin looked golden and tanned. Gwen leaned against the wall and crossed her arms.

"How did you grow?" Peter's eyes shot open and he leaned up to see a girl in his room.

"What?"

"How did you grow," she repeated the question. Peter blinked several times and shook his head.

"I don't…"

"I won't call you mad. How did you grow?" he stared at her for a moment, his brain considering the many different answers he could give her. What came out was the truth.

"I admitted something that I long ago denied. And I think I'm finally starting to feel…things. I think those feelings made me grow." Gwen's eyes widened. She knew very well what he was talking about but she stayed quiet.

"What do you feel?"

"Lots of things," he said after hesitating for a moment. Gwen continued to watch him as he shifted uncomfortably under her gaze.

"Why do you think I'm Wendy?" Peter shrugged and Gwen moved further into his room.

"Peter, why do you think I'm her," she said gently. Peter made himself look at her but found that was a mistake; she had Wendy's eyes. The very same blue depths that had made him weak in the knees. He felt his mouth going dry. He watched her move across the room and sit in the chair next to his bed.

"The fairies told me about something called…reincarcination. They said Wendy's soul might have come back."

"You mean reincarnation?" she said, not being able to help smiling. Peter shrugged irritably.

"Whatever it's called. They said Wendy's soul might have returned. That I would have to find her and make her remember me. Only pieces of her soul have returned and they said she wouldn't remember anything." Gwen looked down and bit her lip. Peter's eyes went to those lips and he spotted the hidden kiss in the corner. He leaned forward but stopped himself and leaned back onto the pillow.

"How are you supposed to make her remember? If you do find her?"

"I have no idea," he said into the pillow. She watched him sadly as her mind and heart raced. She had felt strangely drawn to this boy…young man, now. And her strange obsession with all things Peter Pan? Was this why? Was she secretly Wendy Darling, come back to life? It sounded absurd, even to her. She shook her head. It wasn't possible. She stood beside his bed and cleared her throat.

"I suppose I'd better let you rest. Er, when are they letting you leave?"

"Your father said he wants to run some more tests," he said grumpily and she smiled again.

"Daddy just loves to take care of everyone. He means well. And he's the best doctor in London. Don't you worry." She started to leave but turned back to find him watching her.

"I don't suppose you have any family here in London. Where are you staying?"

"The rooftop of whatever building I land on," he replied dully. Gwen stared at him then shook her head.

"I'll see you soon, Peter." And she was gone. Peter let out a deep, frustrated sigh and leaned back against the pillow.

"I want to go home," he whispered, blinking back the tears that threatened to stain his cheeks.


	12. Chapter 12

Peter didn't realize just how tired he was until he awoke to doctors chattering outside his room. He leaned up and tried to peer around the corner. Dr. Darlinger peeked in and smiled.

"Oh good, you're awake. I was just going to let you sleep a little more before I came to get you."

"Came to get me?" Peter asked, leaning up. Dr. Darlinger nodded as he signed some papers.

"Gwendolyn told me your host family here in London have been out of town and you have been staying alone. I don't want you to be alone even if you are being released from here so you'll come home and stay with us until your host family returns. You can have the guest bedroom, you'll be most comfortable. " Peter stared at the man in shock. An adult, being kind? He wasn't used to such things.

"If you agree, of course?" He nodded.

"Yes sir, I'd like that."

"Splendid. I'm finishing your discharge papers and we will be ready to go shortly. Do you need to stop by your home to pick up some clothes?" Peter swallowed.

"I'm afraid I don't really have anything to wear. But I'm used to wearing one outfit, I'll be fine." Mr. Darlinger clearly thought the poor boy was abused. His bushy mustache ruffled and he straightened up.

"Never mind, we shall go shopping on the way home. Nurse McConnel, can you make sure this young man is cleared to be discharged?" The nurse hurried off and Dr. Darlinger checked Peter's vitals.

"How are you feeling today?"

"Much better. No pain at all."

"Wonderful. I have some medication you may take if the pain returns. I'll finish this paperwork and be right back. If you want to gather your, er, belongings," he glanced down at the black bag that had been found next to him on the lawn and Peter jumped out of bed. While Dr. Darlinger left, Peter searched the bag and sighed with relief when his leaves and potion were still there. In a way, they were his way to cling to Neverland. And these normal clothes made him itch and were uncomfortable; he couldn't wait to get back into his leaves and vines. Dr. Darlinger returned and smiled.

"Ready, son?" Peter quickly nodded and followed the man from the hospital. As they excited the building, Peter cast one last look at the bronze statue of himself and Tink. Dr. Darlinger glanced at what Peter was looking at and he chuckled.

"Ah yes, the boy who wouldn't grow up. I assume you have heard the story? Well, if you haven't you definitely will soon enough because Gwen is obsessed with Peter Pan. I swear she would fly to Neverland in a heartbeat if he asked her." Peter's heart leaped at these words but he forced himself to remain calm.

"I don't know the story too well, to be honest."

"Then prepare yourself because Gwen will talk your ear off about it," the man answered, grinning. Peter's smile widened as he followed Dr. Darlinger to his car.

Now Peter had never been inside one of these and frankly he was a bit terrified to get inside. But he didn't want to raise any suspicion with the Darlingers and so he cautiously opened the door and slid in. Dr. Darlinger started the car, which made Peter jump, and he glanced sideways.

"Buckle up, lad."

"Um." Peter grasped the belt-like thing and looked baffled. Dr. Darlinger reached over and clicked it into place and put his hands on the wheel. Peter was fascinated; never before had he seen such modes of transportation and the view through the window was unlike anything he had ever experienced. Dr. Darlinger chuckled at the boy's shocked expression.

"It's new. Gwen has begged for me to let her practice in it but I won't even let my wife near the wheel." He chuckled again as he turned onto a street and Peter's eyes remained on the road in front of them.

Since Peter never paid attention to time, he had no idea how long they drove for. Dr. Darlinger pulled up in front of a beautiful Victorian style home and he held the gate open for Peter.

"We'll go out later and get some things that you may need. I also don't know what sorts of foods you like and Molly will definitely want to know that. She's a wonderful cook."

"That sounds great," Peter replied. The door opened and three people filed out of the house. He caught the eyes of one of them and his heart started to race again.

"Welcome to our home, Peter," the woman said graciously, taking Peter's hands. Peter nodded uncomfortably. The boy, who looked to be about ten, shook Peter's hand in excitement.

"It's smashing that you have come to stay with us, Peter! You'll have to tell me all about America!"

"You see Americans everyday," Gwen scolded gently. "You go to school with them."

"But I don't LIVE with them," he replied and Gwen rolled her eyes.

"Sorry Peter, you'll have to forgive Henry. He's quite obnoxious."

"I am not!"

"Gwen, don't tease your brother," their mother scolded before she turned a kind smile upon Peter. "Come Peter, let's get you something to eat. You're positively peaky." Peter allowed himself to be steered inside and felt Mrs. Darlinger's hands on his shoulders.

"Gwen, why don't you show Peter where he'll be sleeping while I prepare lunch?" Gwen slipped her hand into his and his heart started beating so loudly he feared she would hear it. Shooting him a smile, she lead him upstairs. Henry turned to his parents, his brow raised.

"She fancies him!"

"Don't tease your sister, Henry," Mrs. Darlinger said without looking up. Henry rolled his eyes and went into the sitting room to play video games.

"I'll give you a quick tour before lunch," she was saying but he didn't seem to hear her. He was distracted by the feel of her hand in his. His skin tingled and his fingers closed around hers. She didn't seem to notice as she pulled him from room to room. She opened the door and revealed a comfortable looking guest room, which she informed him would be his.

"This is all mine?"

"For as long as you stay here," she said with a smile as he walked in and looked around.

"Thanks," he said, looking straight at her. "I've never had a room of my own."

"The hideout is small, isn't it?" Peter stared. He forgot how much Gwen knew. It was a little disconcerting, in fact, that she knew so much about him and he knew so little about her.

"It's not small, it's just really full. I sleep on a hammock in the main room. I have a room, if you want to call it that, but it's nothing like this." She giggled.

"I'm glad you like it."

"So where do you sleep?" he asked casually.

"Down the hall." She lead him to her room and pushed the door open. Peter's eyes widened in shock. It was a comfortable looking room; the London skyline was painted over her bed and there was a large image of Big Ben. On the other wall were paintings, of flowers and trees and exotic plants. They reminded him strongly of Neverland. And toward the ceiling was a black cut out of a boy with messy curls. Peter's brow raised and he turned back to her.

"That's a little creepy. Does my shadow watch you sleep every night?"

"Cocky boy. What makes you think that's you?"

"Lie and tell me it's not." A smile tugged at the corner of her lips and she shrugged.

"I told you, it's my favorite story."

"As long as I'm your favorite character, I guess I'm fine with that." Laughing, she shook her head.

"By the way, you're terrible at coming up with names. Peter Darling?" Peter bit his lip but shrugged

"It's all I could come up with!"

"Mmhm. Son of George and Mary?"

"I had to think fast, Gwen, I don't want your father getting suspicious."

"Well you're lucky he hardly pays attention to my Peter Pan stories. Henry is a fan too, though, so let's not mention your parents names, alright?"

"Agreed." Peter moved further into the room where there was a shelf full of Peter Pan books and movies. He carefully ran his hand over the titles and sighed.

"All of this is about me?"

"You're quite a popular character these days," she said softly. "I don't think Wendy knew how famous her stories would be after she was gone."

"But you called me fictional. No one believes in me still? It's all just a story to them?"

"Has Neverland ever been anything but that, Peter? Have the fairies? The mermaids? Your world doesn't exist to many because they find it so hard to believe in something so innocent and beautiful. The world has changed, Peter, but the people have not. There are still thousands of people who search for something to believe in and scoff at those who have found something. Just because it may be a little unorthodox or childish, as many would say, many turn against it. Your world is no different. People choose to believe what they will. I have always believed Neverland is a real place and that Pe…that you are a real person." Peter nodded.

"I am. Flesh and blood." She moved closer and he felt heat radiating from his face.

"I have always hoped for adventure," she said softly. "But I don't think I could ever have imagined this." With trembling hands, she reached out and gently touched his arm. He sucked in a breath at her touch and she jerked back. But Peter moved closer and his hand went to her cheek. She closed her eyes for a moment, turning into his palm and when she opened her eyes again, her hand went out and touched his. They stood there for a moment, connected, heat radiating from their persons. Peter could hear his heart racing; she moved closer to him and his eyes went to her full lips, and he wet his own lips, feeling his throat going dry. For her part, Gwen's dreams were coming true; the young man before her was one she had always dreamed about and had hoped that one day he could sweep her away to Neverland. She believed he was real but she didn't really believe that she was really Wendy. She would help him search, though, she decided. She would help him reunite with his true love.

It was this thought that made her pull away. Peter saw her take a step back and he bit his lip. Had he done something wrong? Did Gwen not want to give him a thimble? He still believed she was Wendy; or at least, a part of her was. There was no other explanation. He just didn't know how he was going to remind her of that. He watched her as she continued to back away and she cleared her throat.

"Let me, er…let me show you the rest of the house." He nodded and cast the room one last glance before following her out.


	13. Chapter 13

Peter had never been comfortable with adults; in fact, he had avoided them most of his life. So it was no surprise that during dinner that night, he was squirming in his chair throughout the meal. Gwen raised her brow at how unnerved he appeared to be. Her parents asked him questions about his family and Henry asked him about America. Gwen had to hand it to him; he was good at coming up with stories on the spot. Of course Peter had never been to America but he had heard plenty about it on his adventures with the Lost Boys. Mr. and Mrs. Darlinger kept shooting glances down the table at Gwen; they knew their daughter's dream to go to New York and become a dancer. Mrs. Darlinger smiled.

"Well Peter, perhaps when you return to your home, Gwen may come and see you sometime. I know she has always wanted to see the big city."

"It would be an honor to have her in our house, Madame," Peter said, bowing his head. Mrs. Darlinger let out a girlish giggle, which made Mr. Darlinger's brow raise. Gwen stifled her laughter. He was as charming as she had always imagined him to be. She didn't know how she felt to see her boy hero grown up but she thought manhood suited him well; he was extraordinarily handsome. She felt her skin tingle whenever he would brush up against her as he reached for his napkin or took a drink of water. She couldn't help but catch his eyes. The Darlingers took notice of their daughter's attraction to the boy; and they weren't surprised. He looked much like the hero of her stories, Peter Pan. At least, what everyone imagined Peter Pan would look like, if he were real. They knew he was pure fiction but they weren't sure their daughter realized that.

After dinner, Henry was sent to his room to finish his homework and Gwen excused herself to go up to her room and rehearse. Peter wanted to get away from the adults as fast as he could so he disappeared into his room and was left alone to his thoughts. He settled himself by the window, and glanced up at his star. Sighing deeply, he rested his chin in his hands and stared out among the rooftops. A light suddenly appeared in the corner of his eye and his face broke into a wide smile.

"I knew you would find me," he whispered. Tink landed in his hand and sighed with relief.

_I've been searching day and night for you! I was so worried. What happened?_

"I started to grow, Tink. I'm feeling all kinds of things and I've become a man."  
_Well, you're not one yet but you're almost one! Why would you do this?_

He frowned down at her.

"I didn't choose to become this, Tink, it just happened!"

_Something you've avoided for over a hundred years just suddenly happens while you're on this mission to find a dead girl. Peter Pan, I don't know what to say!_

"You never liked Wendy anyway, Tink, so don't you start," Peter said heatedly. "I told you I didn't choose this. I'll find a way to fix it. And I will find a way to convince Gwen who she really is."

_Peter, I didn't want you to give up. But I never wanted you to change! Can't you just forget all this and come home? Please?_ Peter blinked angrily.

"You were the one who told me not to give up! You reminded me what I set out to do! Now you want me to go home and take the potion?"

_Neverland won't survive if you stay a man! The island is connected to you, and you to it. Only an innocent boy can control it and you are no longer so. If you stay, you may never be able to come home!_

Peter stared at his friend in terror. His heart and his mind were tugging at him; he found the conflict irritating and painful. He shook his head.

"I have to try, Tink. Neverland wouldn't banish me. I'm still its Prince, after all. Boy or man, it doesn't make a difference. I've only changed physically; when I come back, everyone will see I'm still the same."

Tink chimed sadly. Her wings drooped for a moment before she took off out the window. Peter stared at her as she turned back to him, a crushed look on her tiny face.

_I hope you're right Peter. I hope Neverland makes an exception to the One Rule._

Peter frowned.

"What one rule?"

_No adults are allowed in Neverland. That's always how it's been. You enforced that very law for many years. The pirates have been banished and the Indians keep their distance. No adult can live safely near your hideout. Now that you are becoming a man, Neverland and the Lost Boys will rebel against you._

"I'm still their leader! I'm still the Prince!" Tink only shook her head and flew away. Peter clutched the windowsill with white knuckles.

"Tink!" But she was gone. He gazed up at his star and blinked back tears.

"What am I doing," he whispered. "What's going to happen to me?" He heard music coming down from the hall and he tore himself away from the window. Cautiously, he opened his door and peered out. He could hear very pretty music coming from Gwen's bedroom; it was the sound of flutes and sounded like the tinkling of fairy wings. He slowly made his way down the hall and peered in.

Gwen was soaring through the air and Peter had never seen anything more beautiful. She spun around on her toes, perfecting her pirouettes. Peter sucked in a breath as she stretched her leg high over her head and bent her spine very gracefully. Peter watched, entranced. Gwen danced like no one was watching. Peter leaned against the door and saw something out of the corner of his eye. He turned and his eyes widened; a young girl in a white nightgown was watching him with a sad smile on her face. She curtsied to him and Peter, gasping, slammed into the door in surprise.

Gwen heard the noise and nearly fell. She ran to the door and found Peter clutching his heart, a terror-stricken look on his face.

"Peter! Are you alright?"

"I'm…fine," he lied. "I was just…watching you. You're a wonderful dancer." Gwen blushed and looked at the floor.

"Well thank you. I told you, I love to dance."

"It shows on your face," he said with a smile. She blushed even more.

"When does your show open?"

"You mean your show," she said slyly and he grinned. "A week from tomorrow. We don't have a lot of time."

"You'll do amazing," he said softly. She looked at the floor again and brushed her hair behind her ear.

"I hope you'll come see it. Although I can't imagine the look on my friends' faces if they knew Peter Pan was in the audience."

"I guess it would surprise them even more if they thought I was real." His voice sounded sad and her face fell.

"You don't care what anyone thinks, Peter. You never have." Peter glanced at her and his face was stony.

"I think Wendy gave Barrie only one side of me. I don't think the world knows any other side of me, except a cocky, selfish little boy." He definitely sounded sad now and Gwen bit her lip.

"I know there's more to you, Peter."

"You do?" He looked surprised and she smiled.

"Of course. That can't be all that you are. And you wouldn't have gone searching for your true love if that was all you are." Peter swallowed, or tried to anyway. True Love? Did he have one of those? He honestly didn't know.

"What is it," she asked, seeing his uncertain expression.

"How do you know…if someone is your true love?"

"Well," she started, caught off guard by his question, "they're all you can think about. You'd do anything for them; give your life for them. You have to be near them, you have to have them by your side. You can't eat, can't sleep, can't breathe when they are away from you. And that one person holds your hidden kiss." Peter swallowed again.

"Do you have a true love, Gwen?"

"I…I like to think I do. Somewhere. But who knows? We don't live in a perfect world. Many people go their whole lives without finding love." Tink's words echoed inside Peter's mind. Without love, Peter, you will die.

"Can people die without love?" Gwen's brow raised; she hadn't expected this from Peter. Granted she hadn't known him for long but in a way, she felt like she had known him her whole life. But perhaps he was right. Perhaps Barrie had only written one side of Peter. The world had never seen other layers of Peter Pan. Perhaps the riddle of his being wasn't so complicated after all.

Peter was watching her, waiting for an answer.

"A person can die from a broken heart," she said slowly. "and some people feel their lives are worthless, without that one person to share it with. Some people just want to find their soul mate." Peter's eyes bore into hers and Gwen experienced several very strange things at once; in her mind, she saw pictures all jumbled together and she wasn't able to make anything out clearly, save for Peter. She saw his face grinning back at her, holding an acorn in his hand. She also felt a twinge in her heart that made her gasp. She stepped back and cleared her throat.

"I should…probably continue rehearsing."

"I won't keep you from it. Good night, Gwen." He bowed low and retreated from her room. She bit her lip and watched him return to his room. When he was gone, she closed her door and leaned against it, letting out a deep sigh and sliding to the floor.


	14. Chapter 14

**Thanks so much for all of the wonderful reviews, the follows, the kind words-they mean the world to me! sorry for being absent lately-been working crazy hours at WDW, Tinkerbell and Peter Pan keep me SUPER busy and my internet has been acting up. So thanks for bearing with me and being amazing! Love and pixie dust!**

* * *

_"You'll die alone…and unloved." He ripped Peter's hair back and forced him to look at Wendy; their eyes met and he saw the tears in her eyes._

_"Unloved," the pirate whispered in her ear as he gripped her chin and forced her to look at him. Peter gave her a look of confusion and sadness before Hook yanked his head back again._

_"Just like me," he muttered aloud. He threw Peter onto the deck of the ship and he could hear Wendy's screams. Peter looked up into Wendy's eyes and gave her a sad smile. He wanted to tell her so many things but couldn't bring himself to speak. A tear dropped from Wendy's cheek and Peter's eyes moved to Hook, who was bringing his hook over his head, ready for the fatal blow. Peter saw him pause for a moment and his eyes flick to Wendy. He grabbed Wendy by the arm and spun her into him; he yanked on her curls and she let out a cry as his hook flew to her throat. Peter's eyes widened at this change of events. He was supposed to be the one to die, not her. Hook was after him, not her. He sat straight up and stared at Hook._

_"Let her go, Hook. You have me where you want me."_

_"I know you feel for her, Pan. I know you love her. And do you know what hurts your heart more than a sword?" Hook moved so quickly Peter had no time at all to react; he dove his hook into Wendy's shoulder and her screams pierced the air. As he held onto her, he gripped his sword and cast one last evil grin at Peter. Peter, who had lost all of his happy thoughts, jumped into the air but fell with a crash. As he was rising up on his hands and knees, Hook had driven his sword through Wendy's back; Peter could see the gleaming point protruding from her heart. He heard the screams of her brothers and the Lost Boys and his eyes and jaw were wide open. Hook yanked the weapons out of the girl and flung her into his arms; they both went tumbling to the ground, his arms wrapped around her bloody frame. He pushed her curls out of her face as he cradled her head in his lap._

_"No, no, Wendy. Don't you think about leaving me. You can't. You can't leave me." Her hand gently brushed his cheek before it fell to the ground, limp. Peter let out a cry that made Neverland shudder; he buried his head in her bloody gown and wept. He didn't even feel Hook's sword pierce him. He was numb to the pain. But he saw his blood mixing with Wendy's and felt the life seep from him. He gripped Wendy's lifeless hand and closed his eyes._

_"Together forever," he whispered before he succumbed to the darkness._

Peter's eyes shot open and he gasped for breath. He felt all over himself for any wounds or blood but found none. Groaning, he threw back the covers and ran his hands over his clammy face. Would the nightmares never cease? Sighing deeply, his feet touched the floor and he made his way to the bathroom. Staring into the mirror for the longest time, he splashed some cold water on his face and neck. He had a hard time looking at his reflection; he barely recognized himself anymore. He cast his reflection a scowl before turning away and heading back to his room. But a noise made him stop in his tracks. Moaning and sniffling noises reached his ears and they were coming from Gwen's room. Slowly and quietly, he leaned against her door and opened it just a crack. He could make out her writhing form on the bed and heard her crying.

"No, no, stop it. Please." He opened the door wider and watched her in concern. He moved closer, wanting to comfort her but unsure how. She let out a scream and he jumped.

"Leave him alone! Please!" Peter bit his lip and moved closer to the bed; he cautiously sat on the edge and reached out to stroke her damp cheek. She tossed her head and squeezed her eyes shut.

"Peter, Peter, please don't leave me," she whispered and he gasped.

"Don't you think about leaving me," she panted, "you can't leave me." Peter was finding it difficult to breathe. He leaned in close and stroked her cheek again.

"Gwen, wake up." Gwen tossed her head even more and her arms flailed by her side. Peter reached over and gently pressed his fingers to her wrist.

"Gwen, you're having a nightmare. Wake up. It's Peter. I'm right here."

"Peter. I'm sorry that I must grow up," she whispered and her words made him release her wrists. He saw her arm raise and her fist was closed.

"But, this is yours." She started to open her fist and she suddenly gasped.

"Tis just a thimble." Peter stared down at the girl, torn between shock and horror.

"Wendy?" he said in the softest of whispers. Gwen turned her head in his direction and bit her lip.

"This belongs to you. And always will." Peter felt his lips tingle and his fingers flew to his mouth, where Wendy's kiss lingered in the corner. He leaned over Gwen and gently traced her lips with the tip of his finger. She let out another scream and he jerked back. Glancing back at the door, afraid her parents would come running in, he turned back to her and his hand rested on her cheek.

"Gwen, you're alright. We're alright. Wake up. Please." He shook her very gently and her eyes shot open. They blinked several times before they noticed a handsome young man leaning over her, his hand on her cheek.

"Peter?" He nodded and she leaned up on shaking hands.

"What…what are you doing in here?"

"I um…you were having a nightmare. I was just trying to wake you, so you wouldn't hurt yourself." She blushed and ran her hand over her face. He had seen all of that? She hoped she hadn't screamed out or anything; the image of Peter being run through with Hook's sword still burned in her mind and she squeezed her eyes shut, willing for the images to go away.

"What were you dreaming about?" He wondered if she would tell the truth; he knew good and well she had witnessed his own death. They had the very same dream, only reversed. She had said the very same words that he had said to Wendy. Gwen blinked back tears and shook her head.

"I don't remember," she muttered. Peter leaned back and crossed his arms.

"You lie," he said calmly. Gwen's eyes shot to him and she frowned.

"I beg your pardon?"

"You know what you were dreaming about. What you saw. Just tell me."

"Peter, I don't—"

"Say it," he said firmly. She shook her head and remained silent. Peter huffed and turned away from her, his feet dangling off the bed.

"Fine, I'll say it. You watched Hook murder me, didn't you?" Gwen gasped and Peter glanced at her out of the corner of his eye.

"I guess after you watched that, you became Wendy and tried to save me with your hidden kiss. You said the exact same words she said to me that night. Right before she kissed me." Gwen's fingers went to her lip and swallowed. She shook her head, her curls falling into her face.

"This is ridiculous. I know that you are thinking these dreams mean I'm Wendy but—"

"You're utterly stubborn like her, that's for sure," he scoffed. "You won't even admit what you know to be true."

"I DON'T think it's true, Peter," she said shrilly. "I believe you are Peter Pan and I believe Wendy may be reincarnated somewhere but it's not me. I'm sorry, but it's not." Peter hung his head and closed his eyes.

"I've had those kinds of dreams all my life," she said in a quiet voice. "I used to have nightmares about Hook when I was a little girl. Mother and Father said it was my overactive imagination."

"Or memories," he said quietly. Gwen shuffled her blankets around her.

"You're trying to fit all of the pieces of the puzzle around me. You're not even seeing that it makes no sense."

"The pieces fit exactly and you are the only one who doesn't see it!"

"I can't be her, Peter. It's impossible." Peter scoffed.

"So you'll believe in an island where no one ages, a little boy who flies, fairies, mermaids, pirates…but you won't believe that you might be my true love, returned to this world?" Gwen gasped and Peter froze; both looked stunned into oblivion. The words had slipped out of Peter's mouth and he mouthed wordlessly. Gwen stared at him, unable to think of an appropriate response.

"I'm not Wendy, Peter," she said very slowly. "My name is Gwendolyn Ann Darlinger—"

"Which sounds an awful lot like Wendy Darling," Peter said softly. Gwen huffed.

"Again, you're fitting all the pieces around me. Or trying to. They don't fit, Peter. They won't fit until you find her." Peter turned away from her and crossed his arms.

"Tink wants me to go home and drink the potion."

"What potion?" She watched his still back and saw him uncross his arms.

"The fairies gave me a potion that would erase my memories. In case I was ready to give up on finding Wendy." She gasped.

"Peter, you can't do that!"

"And why not? What's the point, Gwen? What's the point of searching for someone who might not even return my feelings? Wouldn't it just be easier to return to Neverland and forget about all of it? To just cast those thoughts aside?"

"That's what a little boy would do but not a young man in love. You love her. You've been searching for her. So don't give up on that."

"Gwen." He had turned back to her and was staring into her eyes. Before she could react, he was pressing his lips against hers. She gasped against his mouth and he broke the kiss suddenly, biting his lip and looking uncertain. He jumped to his feet and practically ran out of the room and back to his room. Gwen watched him go, her fingers coming to rest on her lips. They still tingled from Peter's kiss and her heart was beating faster than it ever had. She slowly got out of bed and went over to her bookshelf. She pulled the glossy book onto her lap and flipped to pictures of the young girl. Sighing, she ran her fingers over the page. She scanned the page and the page after that, searching for some kind of clue to help Peter find Wendy. He had said the fairies had told him that Wendy had been reincarnated. Did they not know where she was? And how could they be certain she had been reincarnated as a person? Gwen had studied reincarnation in class and knew anyone could come back as anything. What if Wendy was some kind of animal? What would Peter do then? Swallowing, she pushed the book back onto her shelf and climbed back into bed. Glancing up at the ceiling, she sighed deeply.

"Send me some sort of sign. So I know how to help him. Please."


	15. Chapter 15

The next morning, Gwen was very distant from Peter. She hurriedly got ready for school and had hardly looked his way when she told him goodbye before rushing out the door. Peter watched her, baffled. Had he done something wrong? Last night hadn't exactly gone as he had planned but he didn't think they had left it on that bad of a note. He had told Dr. Darlinger that he wasn't feel too great and the Doctor allowed him to miss class. Peter really had no idea how he was supposed to pass himself off as a student and decided he would worry about that at a later time. Dr. Darlinger and his wife hurried off to work, promising Peter they would call and check in on him. Peter thought they were very fussy, with their many instructions on how to care for himself but he supposed that was just because he wasn't used to such parental attentions.

While Gwen and Henry were at school, Peter tried to busy himself with searching for clues on how to find Wendy. He scanned Gwen's books and even found a movie about him. After carefully trying to push it into the strange box for twenty minutes, it came on and he leaned forward eagerly. When he saw a strange boy in green come onto the screen he became excited, until the light came over him and he saw the outfit they had designed him with.

"Tights?! Why would I wear tights?! That's NOT me," he said aloud to the empty room. He continued to watch the movie, laughing at some parts and crying out indignantly at others. When he finished, he glanced down at his growling stomach and pushed the books back onto the shelf where he had found them. Trudging downstairs, he decided to make himself something to eat. He glanced at the clock (which was pointless because he had no concept of time whatsoever) and found various things in the large white box standing in the corner. He looked around the kitchen and thought he should get some of these things for the hideout in Neverland. A lot of them seemed pretty useful. Munching on a sandwich, his eyes caught sight of something with his name on it on the table. He ran forward and grabbed the bag, peering inside but making a face and shutting it immediately.

"I won't wear them," he said flatly. Mrs. Darlinger had been kind enough to pick him up some clothes; several pairs of trousers and different colored shirts were folded neatly and Peter stared at them with distaste. Sighing, he glanced down at the outfit they had given to him in the hospital and decided it was getting quite dirty; he missed his leaves and vines. It was when he felt the most comfortable, the most himself. Grimacing, he selected a pair of brown trousers and a blue shirt and quickly donned them.

When Gwen and Henry came home, Peter was sitting in front of the TV with his feet tucked up underneath him. Gwen stopped, surprised and Peter looked up at her.

"What?"

"I'm just surprised that you managed to turn on the TV. How long did it take you?"

"Not long at all," he lied, turning back to the TV haughtily. Gwen smiled and shook her head before continuing into the kitchen. Henry tossed his bag aside and plopped down on the chair beside Peter.

"Sweet, I love True Blood." Peter frowned in the boy's direction.

"You love what?"

"The program you're watching," Gwen said, settling herself on the far end of the couch that Peter was settled on. "It's about vampires."

"I got that. There's an awful lot of blood." Gwen nodded and took a sip from her water bottle.

"It's a gory program. But the storylines are interesting at times."

"Gwen likes it for the naked men," Henry said teasingly.

"I do not," Gwen immediately fired back, reaching over to hit him. Henry smirked and turned his attention back to the TV. Peter glanced at Gwen out of the corner of his eye and saw she was dressed like she usually was; dance wear and her long curls in an elegant bun.

"How was rehearsal?"

"I have to go back later, Madame Higgins wants Mary and me to work on our fairy dance, one on one." Peter cleared his throat and shifted around on the couch. Gwen's brow raised and she turned to him, grinning.

"Want to help me prepare?"

"Um…I'm not sure how much help I'd be," he said hoarsely. He kicked himself for allowing Gwen to make him feel like this. He had already hated it that Wendy could make him feel so weak and vulnerable; now this girl from the modern world could do the very same. Peter wasn't surprised, really. Yet another reason he knew it had to be a part of Wendy come back to him. Gwen stood and held out her hand for Peter to take. He stared at her for a moment before sighing and jumping to his feet; she pulled him toward the stairs and Henry smirked at the teens.

"Use protection," he said loudly. Gwen stopped and whipped around.

"I will murder you," she hissed and Henry laughed.

"Your knee pads. Use protection in case you fall." But he winked at Gwen and she rolled her eyes before pulling Peter upstairs.

"Sorry about him. He's a complete wretch," she said, slamming the door behind Peter.

"He's alright. Reminds me of Slightly, actually."

"Slightly is Henry's favorite character. He'd die to hear that." Peter stood uncomfortably, his hands in his pockets. Gwen looked him up and down, silently praising her mother for picking out a good color for Peter. It made his eyes dance even more. She cleared her throat, making Peter's head snap up.

"Peter, I wanted to apologize for last night. This morning. Oh, you know what I mean."

"What about it?"

"I, er…I realize I sort of snapped at you and, er…I wasn't expecting…well, you know." Peter nodded. What could he say? He hadn't exactly planned on kissing Gwen and then running out of the room, pink-faced.

"I had an idea this morning. About how you may go about finding her." His eyes widened and he waited.

"We're not far from Bloomsbury. Her old house is just a couple of miles away and it's the house where she grew up. It's become…something of a museum, really. The nursery is the room where she supposedly met Peter Pan—"

"It's not supposedly, that's where we first met," he broke in.

"I know, Peter. I'm just saying, since you're still a fictional character…to many others, I mean," she said quickly, seeing the look on his face. "But we could go…and see if we can find anything."

"Like what?"

"I have no idea. Maybe seeing the nursery again will…spark some kind of thought in you. Wendy's descendants sold the place so no one lives there anymore. I think Margaret was actually the last one to live there before she sold it."

"Who?"

"Wendy's grand-daughter." Peter winced; again, he was reminded that Wendy had children of her own. He turned away from Gwen, his arms crossed over his chest. Gwen watched him with her head cocked to the side, unsure of what to say to comfort him.

"She never forgot about you," she said softly. He whirled around and stared into her face. It was soft and gentle and her eyes were full of warmth and compassion.

"How do you know?" he said a little rudely. Gwen smiled.

"She kept the last name Pan, after all. She thought you never wanted to grow up. She loved you, Peter, but she knew she could never be with you like that. She loved you til her dying day. Why do you think she was buried with her kiss?" Peter gasped and stepped closer.

"What?" Gwen watched him, her expression unwavering.

"It's just a legend. That her strangest request to her daughter was that she be buried with an acorn necklace around her neck. It's not confirmed of course but I know what it meant to her so I know why she requested it. As did Jane." Peter tried to swallow but found his throat stuck.

"She did have the acorn with her," he said in a voice that nearly broke. Gwen started and Peter started to fiddle with something around his neck. Gwen gasped loudly, her hand flying to her mouth, when he pulled out a chain with a thimble and an acorn dangling from it. The acorn was old and withered and the thimble looked pretty rusted. Gwen couldn't bring herself to move. Peter stared sadly at the items in his hand before his eyes went back to Gwen's.

"How…how did you get this," she finally spoke, her voice so soft that he had to lean close.

"I saw her…one last time," his voice finally broke and he noticed his cheeks were wet. He turned furiously on the spot, rubbing at his face with his sleeve. He hadn't noticed Gwen had come up to him until he felt her hand on his shoulder. He whirled around and found she was inches away from him. Peter found it too difficult to look into her eyes; they were too familiar to him. They reminded him of too much heartbreak and loss and pain.

"I gotta go," he said abruptly before yanking the door open and stomping flat-footed from the room.


	16. Chapter 16

The next few days passed by rather quickly. Peter had no sense of time and never noticed time shifting in Neverland. But here he felt like he was racing the clock. He hadn't had any more luck with Gwen and although they had been talking every night and getting closer, he was no closer to convincing her of who she really was.

He paced his room impatiently and scowled. Things weren't this complicated in Neverland. Or they hadn't been, before _she_ came. His brow furrowed as he crossed his arms over his chest. Why? Why couldn't he forget about her? Why did one girl make him feel this way? How could one person have that much power over him? He felt his heart racing and he scowled down at his chest.  
"Quit it," he muttered. Sighing, he flung himself onto his bed and rested his chin on his hands. He heard Gwen saying goodbye to her parents and not long after, heard Mrs. Darlinger calling his name up the stairs. He wanted to ignore her and lay there forever but the Darlingers had been nothing but kind to him. So he yanked the door open and poked his head around the corner.

"We were just talking about going out to dinner. Gwen will join us in a little bit, after her rehearsal. Would you like to join us?"

"That's kind of you Mrs. Darlinger but I really don't have…" he trailed off, biting his lip.

"Oh my dear boy, we'll pay for your meal of course! We'll be ready to leave soon." Peter said nothing more to this kind woman; he had never before encountered such kindness in adults. Come to think of it, he couldn't really remember coming into contact with many adults. Of course the Indians and the Pirates were grown ups but Peter didn't count them. No he had always mistrusted grown ups. He remembered watching Wendy and the boys reunite with their family, how the Lost Boys were immediately accepted by the Darlings, and he had wished, just for a moment, that he could experience that sort of love too. But that was the one joy he must be forever barred from. Or so he had thought. He had never thought he could love but knew it to be so. COULD he make a life in London? Could he stay away from Neverland? He didn't really want to think of such things but what if he had no choice? What if Gwen asked him to stay with her? Or what if he tried to return and found himself banished? What would he do then? With a scowl on his face, his eyes lazily closed and he quickly fell into a sea of dreams.

There was Gwen, hurrying along the street below him. Her long blonde curls blew behind her as she glanced behind her and quickened her steps. Behind her, a dark shape picked up their pace as well. He frowned and sped up a little, staying high enough and out of sight. Gwen shifted her bag over her shoulder and glanced behind her again. She quickly changed course and crossed the street. The shape behind her did the same and she let out a small gasp. Gwen started to run and the shape behind her let out a shrill whistle. Gwen screamed as she collided with three other dark shapes. He couldn't make out faces but he angrily landed beside the group of thrashing bodies and scanned the chaos for Gwen. The dark shape that had followed Gwen now approached but was still unrecognizable.

"I told you we would find you," the man whispered. Gwen let out another scream just as they heard the steady ticking of a clock.

Peter's eyes shot open at the sound of someone calling his name. He heard a knock at his door and quickly hurried over to it. Henry's round face came into view and he smiled.

"Did you fall asleep? Mum and Dad are ready to go to dinner, if you are." Peter nodded and warily followed Henry down the stairs, his mind still on the disturbing dream and the dark shapes that had followed Gwen.

Peter couldn't concentrate on dinner; he still couldn't shake the wary feeling he had and asked the Darlingers when Gwen would be joining them.

"Her school is just down the street. She'll be here shortly," Mrs. Darlinger said with a smile. Peter bit his lip. She was walking? Alone?

"Shouldn't we…go pick her up?" They exchanged looks and Peter saw something strange in their eyes.

"We gave her money for the bus, Peter. She'll be just fine."

"Peter, speaking of school," Dr. Darlinger started and Peter sighed. Here we go, he thought.

"What school were you attending before your accident?"

"Er, I didn't really go to school. That is, my host family sort of schooled me at home," he answered, praying that they would buy his lies. He wouldn't mind attending school with Gwen but he could never pass himself off as a dancer.

"Since we don't know how long you'll be staying with us, I feel that we should enroll you somewhere."

"Really, it's fine, sir. They should be back from their trip in a few days and I won't be a bother to you folks anymore."

"You're not a bother, dear," Mrs. Darlinger said quickly. "And I have never seen my daughter taking such a fancy to a young man before." Peter raised his brow and Henry let out a loud laugh. Dr. Darlinger leaned in close.

"You'll have to forgive Molly. She's quite a matchmaker and would like to see Gwen date more. Me, I'm fine if my daughter winds up a spinster." He chuckled and nudged Peter gently. Peter didn't see what was funny, since he didn't really know what a spinster was. Henry saw his confusion and leaned in close.

"He means he'd be happy if Gwen never gets married."

"Of course that's not what I mean. My daughter's happiness is the most important thing to me. But the fact is she has never showed interest in any of the young men we hope she might fancy. She's never really showed interest in any young man."

"Sure she has," Henry said through a mouthful of pizza. "She's still waiting for Peter Pan to fly through her window." Peter's heart soared and he fought to keep the grin off his face. Dr. Darlinger merely rolled his eyes and shook his head.

"I hope the girl grows up sometime. She's nearly eighteen, and has a bright future ahead of her. She needs to stop living in her world of fantasy." Peter's face darkened and his fists balled up underneath the table. Mrs. Darlinger shook her head.

"You know she's a smart young woman. She knows what's real and what's not. And exceptionally bright. We've raised her well." Dr. Darlinger's mustache twitched as he smiled and Mrs. Darlinger lay her head on his shoulder. Peter watched them until something else caught his gaze and his eyes darted to the door, which Gwen was walking through. She wore a blue leotard with a black skirt and her face was pink and flushed. Peter moved so she could slide in next to him and she shot him a smile.

"How was rehearsal sweetheart?"

"Fantastic. I flew!" Peter's eyes darted to her flushed face and he saw how excited she looked.

"Mary and I worked on the dance scene and the technical director came in to tell us the flying rigs were finished. So we got to try them out! I actually flew!" Peter grinned at the elation in her voice. He leaned in and whispered into her ear.

"Tonight, I'll show you real flying." She gasped and her eyes widened as they bore into his. His smile widened as he nodded. The Darlingers hadn't noticed anything and continued on asking Gwen about rehearsal. Peter didn't say much more during the meal and was content to just poke his pizza and listen to Gwen's flowing voice.

* * *

When they got home, Henry went to his room to finish his homework and the Darlingers retired for the night. Peter and Gwen walked upstairs together and Gwen opened the door to her room.

"I guess I'll see you in the morning," she said softly. Peter nodded and watched her enter her room.

"Hey Gwen," she stopped and turned back to him. "Leave your window open tonight, alright?" She looked surprised.

"Whatever for?"

"Just do it." And he disappeared into his room. She stared at the closed door, with a slight frown. Shaking her head, she went into her room and quickly changed for bed. Yawning, she flung her curls over her shoulder before settling on her bed. She looked over at the window and clapped her hand over her mouth to keep from screaming. Peter was hovering right outside, his curls blowing in the cool breeze. He grinned and climbed through the window. Gwen slowly lowered her hand and Peter's hands went to his hips.

"So you didn't really believe I was real, did you?"

"Of course I did, why would you—"

"If you did, you wouldn't be so shocked to see me fly."

"Seeing and believing are very different, Peter. I have always believed in you but seeing you fly is still something of a shock." Peter held out his hand, which she took. He grasped a small velvet bag in his hand and held it up to her face.

"So tell me, Gwen, what does it take to fly?"

"Fairy dust and happy thoughts," she said very quietly. His eyes were sparkling.

"Do you have any of those?"

"I have many happy thoughts." He nodded, still smiling.

"Close your eyes." He circled her, his hands on her shoulders and he leaned close, pressing against her. She inhaled his scent and was overtaken with something exotic and beautiful. It was the smell of fresh earth, lush forests, sparkling waters…only one place could smell like that. She had never seen it but she had always believed. He smelled like the wind and the earth and the flowers and the pine. She felt him press his warm body against hers and her senses were kicked into overdrive. She felt something sprinkle over her face and her nose twitched.

"Think happy thoughts," he whispered in her ear. He moved a curl aside and his lips gently brushed her cheek. Her eyes shot open and she glanced down, gasping loudly. She was several feet in the air, her gown fluttering with the breeze that had come into the room. Peter held out his hand, which she took.

"Want to put something warmer on? I don't think you want to fly around London in that." She glanced at her nightgown and blushed; it was a bit scant and Peter was clearly checking her out. Blushing even more, she reached for her robe from the wall and pulled the sash tight. Peter took her hand again and squeezed.

"Come on. Let me show you what London looks like by air."


	17. Chapter 17

It was the most incredible night Gwen could ever have imagined. With Peter's hand grasping hers, she soared over the rooftops and scanned the London skyline. He took her all over and she even peered into the domes of the London Eye before continuing on their merry way. With broad smiles and racing hearts, the two teens soared around the city together, giggling madly. Like lovesick school children, neither of them wanted the night to end. Peter landed on the rooftop of a tall circular building and held Gwen by his side. With one hand around her waist, his other went to her chin and titled her face upwards so that he could bring his lips to hers. They stood, captured in a sweet embrace until Peter pulled away and flew her to their next spot. It became something of a game, landing on the buildings and giving sweet kisses all over London. He loved how her hair fluttered in the wind, how her cheeks were pink from the flight, how her hand felt in his. Only when she glanced at her watch and gasped did he finally sweep her into his arms and carry her back to her house.

He landed softly on her carpet and lay her down on her bed. She smiled up at him as he leaned over her, his elbows shaking underneath him.

"Thank you," she whispered before leaning up to kiss him again. His arms trembled as Gwen pulled on his hair and brought him down on top of her. His tongue explored her mouth before he moved his lips over her creamy skin and sucked at her neck. The way she tossed her head back and moaned ignited something inside of him; he sucked harder and nibbled at her ear. He found it difficult to keep his balance and so he lay himself across her, feeling his hips align with hers. He felt his jeans grow much too tight and he groaned as she shifted underneath him. Now let us take a moment to point out the obvious; Peter had never been involved in such intimacies and even though Gwen was a virgin, she did live in modern times and knew more about such things than Peter did. She knew what sort of reaction his body was having to her touches and caresses and as her leg came up around his waist, pulling him even closer, he let out a deep sigh. Gwen's trembling fingers slid underneath his shirt and he shivered as her fingertips traveled over his heated flesh. He moved back to her mouth and continued to kiss her, uncertain as to where he should place his hands. Smiling against his mouth, she reached over and brought his hand to her breast. Peter was uncertain only for a moment but regained his confidence rather quickly and pulled at the sash of her robe, letting it fall open and reveal her skimpy nightgown. He wanted to lean back and gaze at her but her flesh was too tempting and he leaned down to suck at her throat. Her fingers wound themselves around his curls and he bit his lip in anticipation of whatever was to come. His hands moved back to her precious globes and he kneaded them gently with his knuckles. Through the thin material, he saw her nipples harden and she let out a breathy moan. Peter gazed into her eyes before he lowered his head and nudged at the material with his nose; very gently, he pulled the straps down her arms and watched the nightgown slide down her chest until her breasts spilled forward. Peter wished for light, so he could see what he had just revealed. Gwen sucked in a breath as cold air hit her skin and she let out a little cry as she felt his tongue touch one of her mounds. Her hands held his head in place as he tentatively explored more of her flesh before he started sucking harder and harder. Gwen writhed underneath him and Peter felt like he might explode from the pleasure. A sharp knock on the door made Gwen scream and sit up, causing Peter to slide off her and nearly fall of the bed.

"Gwen," they heard Henry whisper and Gwen smacked her own forehead.

"Oh bloody hell," she muttered before she tied the robe around herself again and ran to the door. "What?" she snapped, as she flicked the lights on.

"You weren't asleep, you're never asleep this early."

"What do you want, pest?"

"I need some help on this bloody Literature paper Professor Gibbes has us writing. Think you can help me?" Gwen glanced back at Peter, who was sitting on the edge of her bed and she sighed. She was a good sister and she had always helped her brother with his schoolwork.

"Fine, come on in. Peter and I were just watching a movie." Henry closed the door behind him and his brow raised at Peter's tousled hair and Gwen's crooked robe.

"What kind of movie?" Gwen shot him a look before replying.

"Keep that up and you can write your own damn paper."

"Ok, sorry. But this is your favorite and you're an expert at this. So I know you can help me." He handed Gwen the assignment sheet and her eyes widened.

"Why are you all doing this? Shouldn't this be assigned later in the year?"

"We're getting extra credit for seeing the show. I suppose they wanted the lesson plans matched up. Those three questions are my essay questions. And I'm lost." Gwen glance quickly at Peter before clearing her throat.

"Peter, this will probably be quite boring to you. If you want to return to your room…"

"He doesn't have to go," Henry protested. "I'm sure you've read _Peter Pan_ before, haven't you? You can help me too." Peter gaped at the boy.

"You're studying _Peter Pan_ at your school?"

"We just finished it. Now we have this terrible essay due. Did you ever read it?" He shook his head.

"But I still know it pretty well." Gwen quickly wiped away her grin she was giving him and cleared her throat again.

"Ok, what are the questions. Number one. Oh good lord." She shook her head and Peter leaned over to glance at the paper. She looked up at her brother and inwardly groaned.

"Henry, this is going to be your opinion. I can't really help with this question."

"What's the question?" Peter asked. Henry took the paper and read aloud.

"Discuss the character of Peter Pan. What do you like about him? What are his weaknesses? Why is he the Leader of the Lost Boys? Do you think his decision to remain in Neverland was a good one or a bad one?"

"It's your opinion, Henry," Gwen said again. "Do you like the character or don't you?"

"He's a bit selfish and he's obnoxious at times. But I think his heart is in the right place and he's a good leader. He does try to protect Wendy and I think he wants to make her happy, which is why he takes her back home."

"He did want to make her happy. But he was also scared of what he felt when he was with her. His greatest fear was to grow up and he thought his feelings would make him do just that." Gwen and Henry both stared at Peter in surprise. Peter looked a little sad and Henry frowned.

"He was pretty selfish. I didn't think he really had any feelings for anyone." Peter opened his mouth angrily but Gwen gently lay a hand on his hand under the blanket.

"You just said his heart was in the right place. Besides, he saved both Wendy and Tinkerbell. And don't forget about the hidden kiss. That implies that Wendy is Peter's soulmate." Peter's eyes flew to her and his jaw dropped just a little. Gwen was avoiding his eyes at this point. Henry was shuffling through his notes and he huffed.

"Ok that question is also on here. Explain the hidden kiss and its significance to the story. What does it mean to Wendy? What does it mean to Peter?" He wrinkled his nose. "That bloody kiss. Ok well it obviously means more to Wendy than it does to Peter."

"And why do you say that?" Gwen asked softly as Peter shifted uncomfortably. He probably should have returned to his room when Gwen asked. He didn't like this boy analyzing him and he wished he could defend himself against some of the things that were being said.

"Because Peter has no idea what it really means. I mean a hidden kiss is for that one special person. And it's like…like your virginity! You only give it to your true love, right?" Gwen blushed but shook her head.

"Henry, it's much more than that. It represents youthfulness and innocence. That's why she gave it to Peter. Because she knows he'll always be her love, even after she grows up and leaves childhood behind. Because he'll never grow up, he'll never change. He'll remain like this constant, bright star in her heart." Peter stared at Gwen and willed her to look back at him; her eyes met his and they softened. There was something dancing in Peter's bright eyes that Gwen hadn't noticed before.


	18. Chapter 18

"Ok fair enough," Henry's voice made Gwen snap to attention and she cleared her throat uncomfortably. "I'll accept that. But do you honestly think Peter knew what it meant? Or do you think he just took it for granted?"  
"He definitely took it for granted," Peter said in a small voice. "But he discovered afterwards what it meant and his feelings for Wendy only grew."

"So why would he stay in Neverland? Why didn't he go back with her?"

"I told you, his greatest fear was to grow up. Leaving Neverland meant growing up and embracing a life that he had run away from. He didn't think his feelings for Wendy would be strong enough to tie him to the mortal world that he hated. He was wrong but he didn't realize that until it was too late." Henry frowned again.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Next question," Gwen said quickly and Peter shot her a grateful smile.

"We didn't finish the first one," Peter pointed out. "Do you like him? What do you think his weaknesses are?"

"I like the idea of the character. I mean, who doesn't like a smug boy who never grows up, fights, flies, and flirts with mermaids?" Gwen rolled her eyes while Peter's brow rose into his hair.

"You are so thick, Henry."

"What? It's true. He's a great character. He's a lot of fun. But I don't envy him in the slightest. He lives without love; he has no idea what it is and he'll never know what it means to be loved by another. He'll never be able to appreciate that love. Worst of all, he has someone who does love him and he doesn't even know it." Peter closed his eyes and shook his head. Henry was right. He did have someone who loved him. And he had waited until it was too late. He opened his eyes to find Gwen watching him.

"As Peter said, his feelings scared him. I think that could be called a weakness."

"Definitely," Henry said, scribbling down notes. "Ok, I'll come back to this one. Next question. Peter Pan refuses to grow up, yet he and Wendy spend a great deal of time pretending to be adults. What do you think each of them finds in these games? What do you think is meant by 'growing up' story?" He tapped his pen against his chin and looked thoughtful.

"They call themselves Mother and Father. That's definitely grown up."

"It was only make believe," Peter said, a little too defensively.

"Yes but even if Peter didn't know what it meant, Wendy definitely did. And she went along with it. She pretended to be married to Peter and be mother to the Lost Boys."

"As Peter said, it was only a game," Gwen said softly. "Neverland is full of games. This was just another of Peter's games."

"Ok but my point is that Wendy obviously had some part of her that wished it was real. She wanted to grow up and she wanted a family. If she gave him her hidden kiss, maybe she believed he was her soul mate. Don't you think it's possible that she thought, for a second, that she could convince him to grow up and do those things for real with her?"

"Wendy wasn't stupid. She knew Peter never wanted to grow up. She knew that it was all pretend."

"I think maybe Henry's right," Peter said very quietly. They both stared at him and his eyes remained cast toward the floor. His throat seemed to be stuck and he swallowed several times before he continued.

"I mean…I think a part of her knew she could never make him change. But at the same time, a part of her wanted to make him realize how she felt and…she wanted it to be real. With him. She wanted that life with him."

_Wendy? It's only make believe, isn't? That you and I are…_

_Oh. Yes. _

_Wendy? You see, it would make me seem so old to be a real father. _

_Peter…what are your feelings?_

"Peter? Are you alright?" He shook himself, realizing he had spaced out again and nodded.

"Yeah. Fine."

"Listen Henry, it's getting really late. Can we work on this some more tomorrow?"

"Sure. Thanks for your help. Yours too, Peter." Henry gathered his notes in his arms and headed back to his room. Peter stood by the door, his forehead leaning against the cold wood.

"Peter?" He whirled around and saw Gwen inches away.

"No one's ever going to know the real me. All anyone sees is a selfish and cocky little boy who can't love."

"That's not true, Peter. You're a very complex character. There's several layers to you and that's why it's an excellent discussion topic. You have your strengths and your weaknesses. You're still human." She avoided the word man and Peter was grateful. She moved closer and he saw her glance shyly at him.

"Besides, I see so much more when I look at you."

"Do you?" She nodded.

"I see strength and courage and loyalty and passion and trust and a protector and…love." His eyes flew up to hers and he saw her smile. Even though he knew she was right, he didn't want to admit it. But he moved closer and his hand went to her cheek.

"I don't understand why my heart does this when I'm around you," he whispered as he leaned in close.

"Does what?"

"Feels like it's about to fly out of my chest." Her smile widened and she pressed herself against him.

"Well Peter Pan, that means you have feelings."

"I know. I have feelings for you." And he leaned down and kissed her sweetly before pulling away and walking back to his room. When he closed the door behind him, his fingers went to his lips for a moment before he felt something hot in his pocket. Frowning, he pulled out a long silver chain with an acorn hanging from it. The acorn that was previously wilted and moldy was glowing brightly and was starting to turn a healthy shade of brown. He held it in his palm and his eyes were wide as the glow suddenly disappeared and the acorn appeared as it had. Baffled, he slipped it back into his pocket and quickly dressed for bed. As he rested his head on the pillow, his finger went back to his lips and he felt tingles from Gwen's kiss.


	19. Chapter 19

_**Really quickly, I'd say a quick thank you for all the support, kind words, reviews and such! I promise I'm not ignoring any of you, my internet access is SUPER limited and I have been trying to update as often as I can. So thanks again for each and every one of you!**_

_** And just a warning, this chapter is pretty smutty. Read at your own risk ;-) **_

_** Here's a nice long one for you wonderfully supportive fans! **_

_**Love and pixie dust! **_

The day before the show opened, Gwen's mother insisted on taking Gwen out shopping for an opening night dress. They decided to make it a family evening and invited Peter along. While Gwen and her mother shopped, Dr. Darlinger, Henry, and Peter waited at a nearby restaurant called _Savoir Faire_. Peter was uncomfortable in his fancy new threads but was grateful to the Darlingers for their generosity during his stay. When Gwen and her mother arrived, Peter could not take his eyes off her; she looked stunning in an cute green dress and her curls swept up in a ponytail with several white flowers decorating her hair. Peter immediately rose and pulled the chair out for her, sitting down next to her. Her parents exchanged smiles before they disappeared behind their menus and Gwen shot him a grateful smile. The meal was pleasant and halfway through dessert, Peter noticed Gwen's hand resting on her knee under the table. He gently took it in his own and rested it on his knee. She glanced sideways at him and he shot her a smile. His fingers traced patterns over her hand and she shivered with delight. She found she could hardly concentrate on dessert and started tuning everyone out. When their meal was finished and paid for, Peter bowed low and kissed her hand.

"Would you care to take a walk with me?" She looked at her parents and smiled.

"Mother, Father, would it be alright if Peter and I took a walk in the gardens? We can take a taxicab home."

"Don't be out too late," her mother said though she was smiling. Henry winked at Peter as he walked past and Peter blushed. He offered Gwen his arm and lead her from the restaurant.

They walked through the gardens hand in hand and neither of them could really concentrate on what the other was saying; they both felt their hearts race from their closeness and Peter threw all caution to the wind and pulled her in close for a kiss. Gwen kissed him back with ferocity and she slammed against a tree, pulling him into her. Peter's hands rested on her hips but he wanted to feel more of that silky skin and his hands started to slide down her hips, slowly traveling up her dress. He gripped her leg and brought it around her waist, so he could press into her more. Peter moaned at the delicious friction between the two of them and his tongue could not get enough of her creamy flesh. Her hands were desperately working at the buttons on his shirt and her nails clawed at his back. Peter threw his head back and let out a groan, causing Gwen to smile inwardly. Suddenly, they both heard a clap of thunder and within a matter of seconds, they were soaking wet. Gwen screamed and tried to duck underneath the tree but it provided little protection for her. Peter glanced sideways and saw her shivering already; it was freezing outside and would only get colder. He was sure she would be sick if he did not get her out of the rain immediately. Without a word, he scooped her into his arms and took off into the sky. Her arms tightened around his neck as he zoomed upward, higher into the clouds and out of sight. She shivered uncontrollably in his arms and his hold on her tightened, doing his best to block out the rain and the cold.

Peter had them home in record time. When they walked through the door, they saw the house was cold and dark. Peter turned on a light while Gwen checked the house for her family. She found a note that said they were going to the movies and would be back late. Peter came up behind her and gently touched her shoulder.

"You should get out of those wet things before you get sick." She smiled and planted a sweet kiss on his lips.

"Thank you for getting me home so fast."

"I didn't want you getting sick. Especially before your big show." She smiled again and saw he was shivering too.

"You're more soaked than I am. Come on, you should take a hot shower before YOU get sick." She lead him upstairs and into the bathroom.

"What about you?" he asked, watching her move around the bathroom.

"I can use Mum and Dad's bathroom. Here's a towel for you." Peter stared at her in bemusement.

"Have you not used this thing since you have been here?"

"Um, not really no. Mostly I've used the bucket I found outside."

"My god, Peter, I wish you had told me. Here, let me show you."

Peter jumped as Gwen bent down and turned on the faucets.

"What is this thing?" he asked in awe. She giggled at his reaction.

"It's a shower. My god, how do you bathe in Neverland?"

"We swim in the lagoon." She wrinkled her nose.

"Ok this is much better. Here's the hot, here's the cold, and this is how you shut it off." He watched her turn the knobs and was fascinated. Gwen held up a bar of soap.

"This is soap. Use it."

"Are you saying I smell?" he asked indignantly.

"No Peter, but soap is what you use to bathe. If I ever visit Neverland, I'll bring enough soap for all the Lost Boys." Peter grinned as he thought of the look on the boys' faces when Gwen arrived and told them they had to bathe. He peeled away his sodden shirt and Gwen's eyes did a quick survey of him. She was still shocked at the muscles and the bronze chest that he hid under his clothes. Peter watched her as she watched him, longing to see the flesh hidden from him. And of course Peter Pan is a smug boy; he knew the effect his body had on Gwen and he relished it. Biting his lip, he moved closer and his hand went to the back of her head, pulling her toward him. Their lips crashed against one another and she moaned as her hands went around his neck. Peter lifted her into the air, her legs wrapping around his waist and one hand held her in place while the other slid under her dress and made gentle patterns over her back. His fingers ran over the strange clasp and quick as a wink, he had unclasped it and she gasped as she felt the straps slide down her arms. Grinning, he lifted the dress over her head and tossed it aside, leaving her in only a lacy blue G-string. He saw her holding her bra in place and he gently moved her hands aside and slid the bra down her arms. He stared at her chest in wonder, completely mesmerized. Reaching out a trembling hand, he cupped her gently and she bit her lip as her eyes slid closed. Peter brought her closer to him, kissing at her neck and moving down her shoulders and collarbone. He lowered to his knees and moved his mouth to her left breast. She let out a cry as her head dropped back, her hands wrapping in his curls as he pressed his face into her flesh. He kissed and sucked his way down her chest and stopped at her bellybutton. He looked up at her and saw her staring down at him, her eyes blazing with something he never thought he would see or feel. His hands were gentle as they slowly made their way up and down her body, loving the feel of her soft skin. He stood back up and kissed her again, pressing against her and her hands swept down his chest to work the buttons of his trousers. She broke away to slide them down and he stepped out of them, watching her to see what happened next. Of course this was going further than Peter had ever been but he was anxious to learn whatever Gwen could teach him (and he was confident he would learn fast). Her hands grasped his arse and he felt himself harden even more. Her fingers slid under the waistband of the green boxers he wore and he felt her slide them down his legs. Swallowing, he realized he was now completely naked under her scrutiny. His hands wrapped around her and he pulled her closer, grinding against her and showering her with kisses. One of his hands moved down her back down to her tiny underwear, easily sliding them off. Biting her lip, she pulled him toward her as she stepped into the shower. He followed her and was hit with a spray of hot water. His eyes slid closed as he felt her press her lips to his neck. The combination of her mouth on him and the hot water on his back was pure ecstacy. He backed her up and she gasped as she felt the cold wall on her skin. Peter's hands went to her breasts as he kissed her fiercely. She writhed underneath him, her hands reaching around to grasp him again. She gently pushed him back under the hot waterfall and she gave him a sly, seductive smile. He watched her anxiously as she slowly lowered to her knees right in front of him, her hands tracing circles on his hips. She came closer and closer to his still-growing arousal and a growl escaped his throat as she leaned in and gently kissed the tip. Smiling up at him, she grasped him in her hand and traveled up and down his length, planting kisses and teasing him mercilessly. His head went against the wall and his hands went to her sodden hair. Gwen took him into her mouth and his breathing grew heavier, his knees growing weaker. She continued to pleasure him and he felt something building inside of him, unlike anything he had ever felt before. A strange sensation overtook him and his knees shook.

"Oooooh gods, Gwen!" Gwen let him fall from her mouth just as he came and he leaned against the wall, his chest heaving and feeling weakness overtake him. She smiled and stood up and he pulled her in for a kiss. His hands went back to her breasts and he lowered to his knees, kissing his way down her body. Peter was being led by pure instinct and he prayed he wouldn't do anything wrong. He continued his exploration and found her aching core, his fingers dancing over her heated center and causing her to cry out. His fingers gently explored her until he carefully brought her leg over his shoulder and kissed his way over her fiery skin. She screamed and her hands grabbed at his hair, igniting a fire inside of him. He took clues from her screams to know that he was doing something right and his tongue explored her completely. She screamed his name, making him almost climax right then and there. His talented fingers and tongue made her come undone in his arms and they stood underneath the scalding water, just holding each other close.

"Gwen," he said softly, "what's virginity?" She looked quickly at him, her eyes wide.

"What?"

"When Henry was talking about a hidden kiss…he said it was like virginity. What is it?"

"Oh Peter…I forget how much you still don't know." He went red and his hands on her hips tightened their grip.

"Then tell me."

"Have you ever heard of sex?"

"I've heard of it…but never done it." Gwen let out a sigh of relief and Peter's brow raised.

"Nor have I. You're supposed to have sex with only one person and that person is the love of your life. That's why he said it's like the hidden kiss. Times have changed, though, and sex doesn't mean as much as it once did. Not a lot of people wait for their true love. It's not as special as it once was. A virgin is someone who has not had sex yet. They still hold onto their virginity." Peter nodded to show he understood. He didn't altogether understand the act nor how it was done but he wasn't about to ask her about it. He knew that was what would come next, though. He knew he wanted to share in it with her and only her. Admittedly, he felt a bit strange, as if he was betraying Wendy in a sense. He knew Wendy was his true love and he knew that Gwen had to have a part of Wendy's soul but that didn't necessarily mean she was all Wendy. It confused and irritated Peter immensely. Again, he wished things could be less complicated. Gwen saw his brow was furrowed and her hand rested on his cheek.

"Is everything alright?"

"Fine. Everything's fine." She nodded and glanced up at the steaming line of water coming from the shower.

"I suppose I'd better wash my hair while I'm in here." She reached for the shampoo and poured a generous amount over her hair. She started to rub it in but froze when she felt hands working their way through her long curls and her hands dropped to her side. Peter massaged her scalp and watched the bubbles spread through her hair, smiling when she allowed her head to drop back onto his chest.

"I can't wash your hair when your head is down," he muttered.

"It feels good," she said nonchalantly. After rinsing her hair, Gwen did the same to Peter and worked her fingers through his curls. Peter couldn't remember the last time he had washed his hair and he felt years of dirt and grime wash off under the hot water. He took the soap bar and lavished every inch of her skin. They giggled and splashed while they washed each other, enjoying every minute until the hot water ran out completely. They wrapped themselves in the towels and dried off, making their way back to their rooms to change. When they were dressed for bed, Peter came back to her room and lay in the bed with her, her damp hair strewn over his arm as she rested on his shoulder. They talked late into the night, exchanging kisses and secrets until neither of them could keep their eyes open and they drifted off to sleep, wrapping each other in their loving embrace.


	20. Chapter 20

Peter gripped the roses he held tightly as he got out of the Darlingers' car. He was nervous and he couldn't understand why. He knew Gwen was nervous but he also knew she would be amazing. Perhaps he was nervous to actually watch her become Wendy. He had heard her rehearsing her lines and he could clearly remember Wendy saying some of those things. He didn't know how it would make him feel to watch a play about him but he had promised Gwen he would be there and so he had accompanied the Darlingers on opening night.

The kind old woman who greeted them into the theatre asked Peter if he would like to deliver the roses before the show. The Darlingers smiled and ushered him out, asking him to tell her to 'break a leg'. Baffled at this expression (he hoped it was only an expression!) , Peter followed the old woman to the back and softly knocked on the door. Gwen's face appeared and it went from surprise to relief and happiness.

"Oh I'm so glad you came!"

"I told you I would. These are for you." He handed her the beautiful flowers and she gasped.

"Oh Peter, thank you," she whispered. He smiled and bit his lip.

"You nervous?"

"Extremely." He moved closer and his hand went to her cheek.

"Don't be. You're going to be stunning. I know it." He leaned forward and kissed her softly, and leaned his forehead against hers.

"I'll see you after the show." She nodded and watched him head back to the lobby, a broad smile on her face.

Peter passed by two tall men who seemed to be standing guard near the dressing rooms. For some reason, he felt uneasy and he watched them suspiciously. He saw them exchange a few words and then open the door and walk into the theatre. He shook himself.

"Paranoid," he scowled at himself. He saw the lights flickering and quickly rejoined Gwen's family.

He shifted constantly in the uncomfortable theatre seat while he watched the show and he sucked in a breath as he saw a shadow appear in the window and remembered Wendy's "why are you crying line." He watched, wide-eyed, as Gwen acted as Wendy on the stage; she was perfect and Peter had absolutely no doubt in his mind that it was Wendy's soul guiding Gwen's actions that night. Unbeknownst to the cast, Peter Pan sat in the audience, completely entranced. Like with the film and the book, he frowned in a lot of places and laughed in a lot of places. What was perhaps hardest to watch was when Mary offered Gwen her hand and asked her to dance. They soared through the air and Peter's eyes followed them; he wanted to get up and walk out but he forced himself to remain seated.

Peter's mind raced through the show; seeing Neverland on the stage made him miss it even more. Seeing Tink and the Lost Boys made him remember what all he had left behind. It had been months since he had left. Would he still be able to return? Gwen constantly said she wanted adventure. Would she go with him? Would he be able to convince her to leave her home behind and make a home with him in Neverland? Could he be that selfish? He mentally hit himself. He hadn't asked Wendy to stay, for he knew he couldn't ask her to leave her family. Why was this any different? Gwen would still be leaving her family, her hopes, her dreams behind. Peter didn't think it was fair. And he didn't think it was fair to make Neverland suffer for his decisions. Tink had told him long ago that the island couldn't survive without him. He didn't know why but the play had opened his eyes and his heart and made him realize how selfish he had been. He loved Gwen. He loved Neverland. And he didn't want to hurt either of them. Taking a deep breath, he knew what he had to do. He braced himself for the words that Gwen would undoubtedly yell at him in a few minutes. He noticed everyone standing up and clapping as the cast came back onstage and bowed. He joined them, clapping the loudest and seeing Gwen shoot him a wink and a smile. His heart raced. Why were feelings so complicated? Not for the first time, he wished he was a little boy again and then he wouldn't have to worry. About anything. He turned to see Mrs. Darlinger wiping away tears and he frowned.

"Mrs. Darlinger, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, dear. She was so wonderful, wasn't she?" He studied the woman's face and saw her proud smile.

"Yes. She was absolutely perfect."

"Come on," Henry tugged on his mother's arm. "Let's go see everyone."

The cast lined up out in the lobby and thanked everyone as they filed out of the theatre. People stopped to shake hands and talk to them as they went by. Peter noticed Mary was getting many congratulations on her excellent portrayal of the boy who wouldn't grow up. Peter had a different opinions but he decided to keep them to himself. Mr. and Mrs. Darlinger hugged their daughter tightly and congratulated her; Henry even squeezed her hand and told her she had done a smashing job. Peter approached nervously and Gwen waited with a smile and baited breath.

"Well…how did you like it? Did I do alright?"

"You are she," he whispered in her ear. "You were perfect." Her smile widened and she quickly kissed him on the cheek.

"Do you want to take me flying again tonight? After everyone is asleep?" He chuckled softly as he pulled her into his arms.

"Can't get enough of it, can you?"

"Flying onstage and flying over London are very different. Please?" He brought her closer and kissed her softly on the cheek.

"If you wish it." She smiled and turned to greet more guests as they shook her hand and told her how wonderful the show was. Peter waited with the Darlingers by the door while the cast finished up and hurried off to get changed. He watched the cotton nightgown disappear around the corner and he sighed, until he saw the two men from earlier round the corner as well. Frowning, he perked up and glanced around the room. No one else had noticed and he knew he was probably being unreasonable. Nevertheless, he told the Darlingers he'd be back and he turned the corner as well, making his way to Gwen's dressing room.

He knocked politely, listening for an answer. After a minute of silence, he frowned and knocked again. When there was no answer, dread started to fill him as he turned the knob and peered in.

"Gwen?" His heart thudded to a stop when he saw the roses all over the floor, the vase shattered to pieces. Clothing was all over the place and the nightgown she had been wearing was flung over a chair. Panic came over him as he looked around the tiny room.

"Gwen!" He spotted something out of the corner of his eye and his feet felt like lead as he walked over to the wall and yanked out the dagger that held the yellowed piece of paper.

_You are cordially invited to the Neverland Ball to celebrate the return of our beloved prince, Peter Pan. _

_Kindly respond with an expected number of your party. We look forward to celebrating with you._

There was no name, no initials, nothing more. Peter held the paper in his hands, his eyes wide. He did not know what to tell the Darlingers and so, crumpling up the yellowed paper, he opened the dressing room window and leaped out into the night sky.

* * *

Peter had never felt tired on his journey to and from Neverland but now he was weary and toiled. He did not know where to begin searching for Gwen but he circled the island and felt it welcome him back. He spotted his Lost Boys on the shore and he immediately landed beside them.

Jack's eyes widened when Peter straightened up and he grabbed James's arm.

"Oy! Is that who I think it is?!"

"PETER!" The boys yelled and tumbled forward. Peter tried to get their attention but they were too focused on welcoming their leader back. Peter jumped into the air and let out a loud crow.

"Alright you lot, it's great to see you too but I don't have a lot of time. Have you heard of this Neverland Ball that someone is throwing?"

"Neverland Ball? Who's throwing a Neverland Ball?"

"I don't know! A friend of mine was kidnapped and I found this invitation to the Neverland Ball. Has someone planned something to welcome me home?" Stripes frowned as he took the crumpled paper.

"It's got to be a trick, Peter, no one has mentioned anything like this." Peter nodded, knowing Stripes spoke the truth.

"Where's Tink?"

"No one's seen her in weeks. She keeps to herself mostly." Peter's heart dropped sadly but then he remembered Gwen.

"I have to find Gwen. Can you boys help me?"

"Who is Gwen?" Peter grimaced; there wasn't time to explain. And he didn't want to tell the boys he thought Gwen was Wendy.

"Nevermind that, just help me!"

"Of course Peter."

"Anything!"

"Tell us what to do." He nodded gratefully to his boys.

"Have you seen any pirates return to Neverland?"

"The pirates stay on their own side of the island," Stripes said quietly. "We never see them over here."

"This dagger has to belong to a pirate. I'm going to fly over the lagoon and take a look around. You boys follow on foot and make sure nothing surprises us." They saluted and he took off again. Soaring over the island, he realized how much he had missed his beloved Neverland. With a pang, he remembered he had promised to take Gwen flying again. He'd die if anything happened to her. And he would hunt down and kill whoever had taken her.

He found himself approaching the pirates side of the island and slowed down, glancing over the ships. There were no pirates on deck and with a glance back at shore, where the boys were waiting, he glided over the water and landed on one of the ships.

All hell broke loose the instant he touched the deck; a large net fell from the sky and completely covered Peter. There were triumphant cries as pirates of all sizes ran onto the deck, cheering loudly and jeering at their captive. Peter struggled with the rope and grabbed the dagger he had brought with him. But a sword sliced across his hand, making him cry out and drop the weapon to the deck. A fierce pirate stood inches away, glaring through the rope at him.

"Don't try to leave so soon, boy. We have some business to attend to first."

"Where's Gwen," he snarled, gripping the rope.

"Your little wench is safe and sound. Starkey, Thug, bind and gag 'im. Let's take 'im to the Cap'n." The rope lifted and hands grabbed Peter and bound him tightly with thick rope. A black flag was used to cover his mouth and another was draped over his eyes so that his sight was completely blocked. Struggling furiously with his captors, he was flung over the pirates' shoulders and carried through the ship.

The pirates threw Peter to the floor of the cabin and he remained where he was on his side, unable to move. Someone yanked the flag from his eyes and he blinked several times, trying to focus on the pirate before him. He was large and beefy with slick blonde hair. He had tattoos on both arms and his smile had several golden teeth. His eyes were a startling shade of blue. The pirate reached forward and grabbed Peter, yanking him to his feet. He loosened the flag over the boy's mouth and it fell to the floor. Peter glared at the man in front of him.

"What the hell is going on here? Where's Gwen?"

"Special lass, is she? She's not who you think she is, you know." Peter's brow furrowed.

"How do you know?"

"Well Pan here's the thing. After you left, Neverland became this cold and desolate place. It's freezing and the flowers don't bloom. The fairies have all flown away and the mermaids have gone to warmer waters. There's no happiness here anymore. We heard the Indians say until you returned, Neverland would stay this way. So we went searching for something to bring you back. And we found it. Turn around." Peter stared at him suspiciously, not moving and the man rolled his eyes. He forced Peter to turn around and sliced through his ropes. Peter stood, unbound, staring at the pirate with mistrust and worry shining in his bright eyes. The pirate nodded.

"I know, you don't trust us. Good thing too, for Pan to trust pirates changes everything. You never have and that's what made you so strong against us. My name is Mullins, I sailed under command of the late Captain James Hook. Til you disposed of him, of course."

"So what do you want?" Peter asked in a voice laced with disgust at the mention of his dead nemesis.

"I've already told yeh, we wanted you to return. As long as you're here, Neverland is livable again. But we've run into a problem. We found something interesting, you see. Something that might….shock you a little. You'll need to make a choice before the morning comes." Peter took a step back.

"What kind of choice?"

"Go into those next two cabins. See what we've brung you. Talk to 'em both, if you need." He nodded toward the door and Peter cautiously moved forward, shooting the pirate a mistrustful glare before he exited the cabin.

There were two cabins before him, as Mullins had said. The doors were identical, with bars on the window and a heavy chain across it. Peter turned from one door to the other, his heart racing. Gwen had to be in one of those cabins, he was sure of it. Trying his luck, he pushed on the door on the left and peered in.

He let out a gasp as he saw a figure chained at the back of the room, her back toward him.

"Gwen?" She turned her head a little and her blonde curls were thrown into the light as Peter opened the door wider.

"Peter?" She said in a soft voice. Peter ran to her side and checked her over for injuries. The shackles on her ankles were heavy and thick and her hands were tied together in front of her with rope.

"Oh my god, I was so worried. Are you alright? Did they hurt you?"

"No, I'm fine. I'm just…confused. Where am I?"

"Do I really need to tell you that?" She saw the look in his eye and knew her fears were true; she had been brought to Neverland as a captive of pirates.

"What do they want, Peter?"

"I don't know. But I'll save you, don't worry. I won't let them hurt you." He leaned forward and kissed her forehead and she closed her eyes. He glanced back at the door and bit his lip.

"I'm going to speak to Mullins, he's the pirate in charge. I'll be right back."

"Peter, don't leave me!" He noted the fear in her voice and he grimaced.

"I promise, I'll be right back." Her eyes met his and held them until he backed out of the cabin and closed the door. He leaned against the door and sighed. At least he had found her and she was safe. He heard a noise to the right of him and he started. Mullins had said he was going to have to make a choice. What did that mean? Cautiously, he pushed the second door open and peered inside. His eyes widened and his heart positively stopped.

"It can't be," he said in a hushed whisper.


	21. Chapter 21

_**HAHAHA ok I guess yall have suffered long enough. Here ya go ;) **_

The figure at the back of the room was shaking in her chains but she stopped when she saw who stood in the doorway. She smiled, shaking her blonde curls out of her face. Her bright eyes found his.

"Hello Peter," she said in a soft voice. Peter hadn't heard that voice in many years. The soft timbre with the British dialect made him quiver where he stood.

"Wendy?" he said in a disbelieving tone. Her smile widened and Peter swallowed. Everything about her, her hair, her eyes, her smile, even her scent was like a memory that came flooding back. He cautiously approached her and knelt in front of her.

"How…how can this be?"

"I've been here, all this time, Peter," she said softly. "I searched the island for you but you never came. Slightly told me you would be waiting for me but I never found you. So I stayed on this side of the island, hoping one day I would run into you. And just a few days ago, these pirates approached me and asked me who I was. They asked me if I was Peter Pan's Wendy-lady. They said they knew how to find you and that you would come for me. So I waited here, in this cabin, thinking I had been tricked. But you came. You're really here." She reached out a trembling hand and stroked his cheek. He moaned at her touch, his eyes closing lazily.

"Wendy," he said softly.

"Yes, Peter. It's me." He glanced down and saw she too had shackles around her ankles but her hands were free. He gently took one of her hands into his own and gazed into her eyes.

"I can't believe it. I dreamed of you every day. I thought I had lost you forever."

"No, Peter. After I died, I came here to find you. I don't know how long I've been here but I know it's been a long while. Where have you been all this time?"

"I…I was here," he said slowly.

"The pirates said you had left Neverland. That you had gone searching for something."

"I…I was searching for you, Wendy. I was told…that your soul might have come back…that you might have been reincarnated. I went searching for you and thought…." He stopped, afraid to continue. His heart and his brain were racing. If Wendy was here, who was Gwen? And was this what Mullins had meant when he said he needed to make a choice? He swallowed and rose to his feet.

"I'll be right back."

"Wait, Peter, where are you going? Don't leave me!"

"I'm not, I just need to have a word with the pirate in charge. I promise, I'll be right back."

"Please come back to me, Peter." He swallowed again and nodded.

Once he was out of the cabin, he leaned against it and closed his eyes. His world had just turned upside down.

"I told yeh, you'd be shocked," said a voice at his shoulder, making him jump. Mullins watched him, his blue eyes clouded.

"What did you mean, I'll have to make a choice?"

"Now that yeh see that your modern girl isn't your Wendy after all, I'm afraid we have some bad news. The rules of Neverland are finite; we aren't to bring grown ups here. Yeh have to choose one of the girls to stay with yeh and the other one will die." Peter's jaw dropped.

"What?!"

"I'm sorry, Pan, that's just how it has to be. The one yeh choose can stay with yeh forever. The one yeh turn from dies at sunrise." Mullins moved closer to Peter, who was so shocked he couldn't move. "It's an easy choice, isn't it? I mean, you've been searching for Wendy for so long. You've found her again. This other girl is just an ordinary lass from the modern world. It's not Wendy, as yeh thought. Isn't that an easy decision then?"

"Of course it's not an easy decision. I don't want Gwen to die!"

"So you'd let Wendy die? The only girl you've ever loved?" Peter stared at the pirate in shock and fear. Mullins glanced up at the moon and back at Peter.

"Yeh only have a few short hours to decide. Both of them were cut with a poisoned dagger. One of them will die when the sun rises." Mullins stomped off, leaving Peter to his racing thoughts. And race they did. What was he supposed to do? How was he supposed to make this decision? Was it really easy, as Mullins had said? Yes, he had found Wendy again. But he had fallen for Gwen. He couldn't let anything happen to her. On the other hand, had he fallen for Gwen because he was convinced it was Wendy? Groaning, he reached into his pocket and pulled out the acorn necklace he always carried. It looked as wilted and dead as it had before. He pulled it over his neck and let it hang next to his thimble. Taking a deep breath, he opened the cabin door and walked in.

Gwen's head snapped up when he walked in and she sighed with relief.

"I thought you'd left me," she said quietly. Her words made him stop and stare at her.

"I told you I wouldn't. I tried to find the key to take these chains off you. You look uncomfortable."

"I just want to go home," she said in a pained whisper. "Did you find out what they want?"

"No," he lied. "Mullins used to work for Hook. He's taunting me and won't tell me anything." Gwen sighed heavily and leaned her head against the wall.

"Gwen…are you absolutely positive that you're not Wendy? I mean, Wendy reincarnated?" Her eyes snapped open and she stared at him.

"I've told you, Peter, I'm not Wendy. I can't be. Why do you insist on making me someone else? Am I not enough for you? Do I have to be Wendy for you to love me?"

"Of course not, I just…I'm still learning about love, Gwen. You said yourself Wendy was my true love. If I have the chance to be with her again, do I take that chance?"

"If you find her, I wouldn't fault you for choosing her over me. You're her true love, not mine." Though the words burned her insides, she did not want him to feel guilty for loving another. Even though she knew she had fallen in love with him, she knew she could never keep him. Whether he belonged to Wendy or not, she knew he belonged here, in Neverland. And she didn't.

"Do you love me, Gwen?" She looked up, startled and saw his eyes blazing down at her. Her heart thumped painfully as she searched for the right words to say.

"No, Peter. I don't feel that way for you. You're Peter Pan, Prince of Neverland. And you belong here." Peter's heart slowed to a stop at Gwen's words. Without another word, he rose to his feet and left the cabin. As soon as the door closed, Gwen's head dropped to her chest and she wept silently.

Peter sat next to Wendy and watched her sleeping. He tentatively moved a curl from her face and she shifted, her eyes fluttering open.

"You came back."

"Of course I did. I wouldn't leave you."

"What's in that other cabin they're keeping?" He glanced behind him and bit his lip.

"I'm not sure."

"Don't lie to me, Peter. What's in there?"

"it's uh…um…"

"Is it a girl?" He looked at her quickly, his eyes wide.

"How did you-?"

"Mullins came in here and told me they had brought a girl from London who looks like me. That you think is me. Is she being kept in there?"

"Yes," he said slowly. Wendy stared at him, her expression stony.

"Do you still think I'm reincarnated? You think that girl is me?"

"Wendy, you don't understand—"

"No you don't understand! I waited for you for years. I waited at my window, hoping you would come back to me, as you promised you would. Even after I was married and had children, I waited for you. You never came back, Peter. And on my deathbed, Slightly told me that you would be waiting for me. That I would have another chance with you and I laughed at him and told him that you never loved me and he assured me you did. And so I waited for you, here. And you never came! Why did you never come for me?"

"How was I supposed to know you were here?! Not once did I see you on my side of the island. You knew I stay away from the pirates side, Wendy. Why didn't you ever come looking for me? Or ask one of the fairies to find me? Why did you hide from me? Why are you so angry with me?"

"Because you have the nerve to think that I would come back to earth as someone else, when I have been here all this time! Mullins told me about the poison, Peter. And you're honestly torn about it?" Peter winced and turned away from her, crossing his arms.

"It's not that simple, Wendy—"

"Not that simple?! You claim to love me and yet you have to think about if you're going to save me or not?!" Peter turned back to her angrily.

"I never told I loved you."

"You don't have to, Peter. Searching for me for years after my death tells me you love me." Peter stared at her for a few moments before he got up and walked out of the cabin. He walked through the darkness to the edge of the ship and stared out over the lagoon. He wished he could just fling himself into the water and stop all of the madness around him. Someone was going to have to die. One of the girls he loved was going to leave him forever. Yet he couldn't make that decision. He just couldn't. He trudged back slowly, his head hanging and he leaned against the cabin door. He heard sniffling from inside and he cracked open the door. Gwen was curled up as tight as she could, weeping into her chest. Peter wanted to weep with her; he remained where he was and watched her warily. She used her bound hands to wipe away her tears but then more came; still sniffling, she tried to stretch out and lay in the floor but found the chains too constricting. She shivered, as her dress had been ripped nearly to shreds. She glanced up at the moon through her window and inhaled sharply.

"Dear God, I don't understand. Why do I love him so much? I'm not supposed to love him…unless I am her. Unless I have a piece of her inside me. Is that why my heart races whenever he's around? Is that why I can't resist his touch? Please God. Tell me what to do. Tell me." He inhaled sharply at her words and glanced up at the silent moon. Very quietly, he closed the door behind him and stared up at the moon.

"Tell me what to do. Please tell me," he whispered to the night.


	22. Chapter 22

_**Your reviews are simply the best! :) One more before bed, I apologize in advance, it will be another cliffie but don't worry, everything will be explained SOON!  
:)**_

He remained where he was, for how long, he didn't know. He knew he had to make a decision and soon but he couldn't bring himself to face either girl. The pirates marched by, shooting him glares and curious glances but he ignored them all. He fingered the thimble and the acorn around his neck and he had the intense desire to snap them both off and fling them into the lagoon. He remembered the potion the fairies had given to him and he thought very seriously about drinking it right then and there. He wouldn't remember either girl, therefore he wouldn't remember what he had done. Glancing behind him, he decided he had to see them both one last time and he entered Wendy's cabin first.

She looked up when he entered and she only acknowledged him with a nod before resting her head on her knees.

"Wendy, I'm sorry about earlier. Truly I am. You don't know how stunned I am to see you again."

"It's strange for me too, Peter," she said stiffly, not looking at him. Peter stared at her and touched the kisses at his throat. He considered returning it to Wendy but something stayed his hand. He knelt in front of her and took her hands into his.

"You're the only one I have ever felt anything for. I fell in love with you, Wendy. I will always love you."

"Will you? Even after I'm gone?"

"You're not going anywhere. We'll be together, always." Wendy looked up at him quickly and her eyes widened.

"Does that mean you choose me? You're going to save me?" He bit his lip and looked down. Wendy cupped his chin and forced him to look at her.

"You'll forget that other girl very soon. It'll just be you and me and we can be together at last." He nodded.

"You're right. I choose you. But I have to explain it all to her. I'll be back in a few minutes." He started to rise but she grabbed him and pulled him back down to her.

"Why do you need to explain it? Don't tell the poor girl she's going to die. Just stay here with me and don't go back to her."

"Wendy, I won't leave her alone to die. She doesn't deserve this. Neither of you do. I have to talk to her one more time." Frowning at her behavior, he yanked himself free of her grasp and exited the cabin. He slowly pushed Gwen's door open and peered inside.

She seemed to be sleeping but was shivering violently. Peter dropped to his knees beside her, a concerned look crossing over his face. Her face was pale and her eyes were half closed. Peter's hand went to her cheek and she felt hot to the touch.

"Gwen?" She stirred slightly, moaning in reply.

"Peter," she whispered and he noted how weak she sounded. His eyes went to a red spot on her neck and saw a slice from a blade surrounded by red, inflamed skin. He caught his breath as he saw what the poison was doing to her.

"Gwen, I'm so sorry. I never meant for any of this to happen."

"Is it true then? The pirate said I only have a few hours left to live. It's true, isn't it?" Peter didn't answer but Gwen nodded solemnly and winced.

"I thought so. I feel the poison in my bloodstream. It's boiling, like I'm on fire. Yet I think I'll freeze to death. How much longer will it take?"

"Gwen, don't talk like that—"

"Oh I know I don't have much longer but it hurts so much, Peter, can't you help it along? Take out your knife and just end it now. Please." Peter's jaw dropped as he stared at the helpless girl in front of him. She blinked back tears and she moved her neck from side to side, wincing at the pain. She let out a pained moan, as the poison continued to eat at her. Peter crept closer and pulled her into his arms. Her head dropped onto his chest and she shivered against him. Her skin was flaming to the touch but she still shivered uncontrollably. Peter blinked back tears as he stroked her hair.

"Gwen, tell me what to do and I'll do it," he whispered against her cheek. She played with the thimble and the acorn and she smiled.

"I should like a thimble, Peter."

"I've been in your world for awhile now, Gwen. Do you want a thimble…or a kiss?"

"Give me one last kiss," she said in a shallow breath. Peter obliged and pressed his lips against hers. Her hand caressed his cheek until it fell limp to the floor. Peter broke the kiss and leaned back, seeing that her eyes were closing. He glanced at the window and saw the sun starting to rise on the horizon. Panicked, he turned back to Gwen and shook his head.

"No. No, come on Gwen, don't leave me. This isn't fair. You can't die, you just can't." He cradled her in his arms and shook her gently. She sucked in a breath and squeezed her eyes shut against the pain that overtook her body.

"I'm sorry I couldn't be who you wanted…or what you deserved. But know that I will always love you," she said in shortened breaths. His eyes filled with tears as he pushed a strand of hair away from her face. He glanced down and touched the acorn. He fumbled for the chain and pulled it off his neck. Grasping it in his hand, he cradled Gwen's head and slipped it over her long hair.

"This belongs to you. And always will."


	23. Chapter 23

_**I simply have the best fans in the world. Here ya go. I have to run to work but I'll post again tomorrow, the story took an interesting turn and as always, I'm fascinated to see it's heading! Hope you like the "explanation" **_

_**:)**_

He let out a loud gasp as he watched the acorn glow briefly and become whole and healthy again. He touched it and it felt hot in his hands. His eyes flew back to Gwen's face and he gently touched her cheek.

"Gwen?" She inhaled a deep breath and her eyes shot open. Peter swore they were bluer than they had been moments earlier. They were wide as they focused on his face and her mouth opened in surprise.

"Peter! I remember…everything!" He frowned slightly, looking bemused.

"What do you mean? What do you remember?"

"All of it! Flying to Neverland with you and John and Michael. Tinkerbell told the boys I was a Wendy-bird and they shot me down. They built a little house around me. I was Mother and you were Father. And we danced in the Fairy Glade and when Hook kidnapped us, you came to our rescue. You fell and Hook had you at his mercy. But I saved you with my-"

"Hidden kiss," Peter finished softly, his eyes wide. She nodded, struggling to sit up.

"And you turned pink and exploded into the air. And you beat him. And then you returned us all to London and promised to return, to hear more stories. I remember it all, Peter!"

"I don't understand," he said softly. "I…I mean, Wendy…Wendy is in the next cabin. They told me…they said you're just an ordinary girl…" he trailed off, biting his lip. Gwen gasped for breath and her hands flew to the cut on her neck. She fell back to the floor before Peter could catch her and she writhed in pain. He watched, panic-stricken and unsure of what to do.

"Peter…the p-poison," she gasped and his hands hovered over her uncertainly.

"I'll save you," he whispered.

"It's too late, _boy_," said a gleeful voice from the doorway. Peter whirled around and his eyes narrowed, his face darkening. The pirate who stood before him was one he knew well, one he thought was gone forever. One that had darkened his nightmares for many years.

"You."

"Me. And I see that your little whore has finally remembered everything. Shame that it's too late." He jumped to his feet and yanked his dagger out.

"You tricked me."

"Too right I did. And let it be spread throughout Neverland that James Hook has bested Peter Pan once again. Only this time, I'm destroying your heart. You've searched for her for how long and you're about to lose her." Peter turned back to the writhing girl and his expression softened.

"Don't you dare leave me," he said quietly. He turned back to Hook and the pirates and his eyes narrowed.

"What do I need to do to save her? Tell me and I'll do it."

"You already did something, Pan. You made your choice. You chose Wendy." Hook's eyes narrowed slyly and he let out a malicious laugh. Peter's eyes widened in horror and he shook his head.

"I didn't…I had no idea—"

"That you were killing the real Wendy? Yes, tragic surprise isn't it Pan? You can thank the mermaids for supplying me with a potion that changes form. You actually chose Gentleman Starkey." He jerked his head toward the door, where Starkey was leaning against the doorframe, still wearing a dress. Peter's breathing became heavy as he shook his head in disbelief.

"Please…please, don't do this—"

"You did it all, Pan. The poor girl has suffered ever since you brought her to Neverland, almost a hundred years ago. Now she finally returns to you and you choose another."

"Because you tricked me!" Peter screamed, tears streaming down his cheeks. "You know I chose Wendy! I love her! I've always loved her! And you knew it was her all along, didn't you?" Hook's evil grin never left his face and Peter dropped to his knees and pulled Wendy into his arms. He buried his face in her neck and sobbed.

"Please. Please don't leave me. Wendy, I love you."

"I love you too," she said faintly. Moaning through his tears, Peter bent and kissed her hard on the mouth. It was the first kiss he had actually given to Wendy, not to Gwen, and he could strangely feel the difference. In his heart, he had always known it was Wendy. Whether she would ever remember or not, he hadn't known but now that she did, her kisses were different. More loving, more precious, more treasured than anything Peter could ever imagine. He loved her with all his heart. He now knew that he belonged with her and nowhere else. He remained, melded to her lips and she clutched at his shirt with her bound hands. Peter broke the kiss and his lips traveled down her skin, over her neck and he gently kissed the wound near her throat. He considered trying to suck the poison out but before he could do anything more, the skin started to become a normal color again and the cut started to disappear. Peter stared at the spot in shock, his hands tightening around her. Her face returned to a normal color, her eyes opened and focused on him. She smiled and reached up to stroke his cheek. Peter cut the rope from her hands and she flung her arms around him and his around her. They remained in their embrace for a moment before they remembered there was imminent danger in the room. Peter tried to pull her to her feet but she was pulled back down by her heavy chains. He turned to Hook and his hands went to his hips.

"Game's up, old man. Fight me or let us go. You've obviously lost though. True love conquers everything. Just like in the stories." Wendy smiled up at him and he returned the smile. Hook looked very sour indeed. He certainly hadn't expected this; he hadn't expected the child he hated to be so grown up. But Peter had matured and he had obviously fallen in love. There was nothing more to be done. So Hook, who considered himself to be a gentleman and sometimes even fair, had to admit defeat.

"Very well, Pan, I'll let you live another day. We will fight to the death very soon."

"Looking forward to it," Peter replied calmly. Hook swept his cloak around him and tossed something at Peter. He caught it in his hands and studied the key carefully.

"You have two minutes to get off my ship before I change my mind," Hook said slowly before jerking his head at his crew and leaving the cabin. Peter dropped to his knees and hurriedly removed Wendy's chains. His face darkened when he saw the wounds the shackles had left but Wendy covered them with her dress and Peter helped her stand. She was a bit wobbly and Peter scooped her into his arms and flew out the door and into the air. He heard a shrill whistle and saw Hook's second in command, Mister Smee, waving his arms frantically. Frowning, Peter lowered beside the ship, staying far enough out of reach in case it was a trap.

"A word to the wise for both of you. Do not try to return to London."

"What are you talking about?"

"My family—

"Forget them, Miss Wendy. Peter saved you from the poison in this world. But it will kill you in the real world. If you don't believe me, take a look at her neck." Peter gently moved her hair aside and glanced down at her neck. All that was left was a scar but it was visible and even a little discolored. Peter's face paled; the poison was still there. Smee was trying to save her life. If she returned to London, she would surely die. Peter's hold around her tightened and he nodded to Smee.

"Thank you," he said quietly before taking off over the lagoon. Wendy's arms around his neck tightened and she rested her head against his chest. He realized as they flew higher that she had fallen asleep.


	24. Chapter 24

_**Just a warning, dear readers, this chapter is one of the reasons this story is rated M. Do not continue to read if easily offended! Thanks! :) **_

When she woke up, she found herself in a comfortable cot with furs draped over her. She stretched and let her legs dangle over the edge as she looked around. She recognized the place but saw no one in the room with her. She noticed a dress laid out on the edge of the bed and she held it up to admire it. It was made of leaves and flowers with tiny pink roses adorning the leaves. She shimmied out of her ruined dress and pulled on the new one.

"Peter's right, leaves are comfortable," she said to herself.

"Why do you think I wear them all the time," said a voice right behind her and she screamed and whirled around.

"You wretch, you scared me! Have you been watching me all this time?"

"Not the whole time," he said with a sly smile.

"I feel violated," she said, glaring at him. He chuckled and pulled her to him.

"Why? It's nothing I haven't seen before. Or won't see again." Her brow rose.

"Cocky aren't you?"

"Not at all," he said, lowering his lips to hers. She noticed that he was back in his own leaves and she thought he had never looked more handsome.

"Come on, the boys want to meet you." Taking her hand and never releasing it, he lead her down the stairs where a group of grubby looking boys were sitting around, waiting.

"Here she comes! Look loveable," one of them hissed and Wendy grinned.

"Wendy, I'd like you to meet Stripes, James, Jack, and Little Ray. Boys, this is Wendy."

"One, two, three," Jack hissed and they all dropped to their knees and looked at Wendy pleadingly.

"Please be our Mother," they said in unison. Wendy couldn't help but laugh. Peter's arm draped around her shoulder and he grinned sideways at her.

"Guess they want you to stay."

"Clearly," she said, returning the smile. Peter's smile widened and he clapped his hands.

"Ok boys, go and find something to make for Mother's dinner. Be sure to collect some more Neverberries as well, I know we're out." The boys saluted him and filed out, grabbing their weapons as they left. Peter turned to Wendy and kissed her hand.

"We're alone."

"So I see," she said with a smile. "Should we talk?"

"About?"

"Well, everything. What's happened, what's going to happen…"

"Hmm, let's see. I found the love of my life and I'll never let her go. She'll stay in Neverland with me and we'll live happily ever after. There. We've talked." He tried to kiss her but she laughed and pushed him away.

"Peter, I'm serious. I still remember everything from my life as Gwen. And I remember everything from my life as Wendy. What can that mean? Why can I remember it all?"

"Wendy, I won't pretend to understand how everything works. The very idea that your soul could return to earth in the form of someone else just freaked me out. But I believed it and I knew I had found you. I just had to wait for you to realize and understand it as well." He pulled her in for a kiss and cocked his head to study her. "So do you prefer me to call you Gwen or Wendy? Or I can call you Gwendy if you like?" She shook her head, smiling.

"Call me what you would like, Peter. I suppose I have answered to both names in the past."

"You'll always be my Wendy," he whispered in her ear before his tongue darted out and tasted her earlobe. Her eyes closed and a little moan escaped her lips, as Peter smiled and moved his tongue across her throat. He moved her curls aside and sucked at her neck, relishing the little moans she was letting out. When he broke away, he saw several discolored marks where his lips had been.

"You're marked as mine, in case anyone ever forgets." Wendy gave him a disapproving glare and pulled her hair around onto her neck.

"You forget I was once a lady of society and had to live by certain proper rules—"

"And I recall you disregarded those rules that night in the shower," he said in a husky voice that was laced with desire. She went pink and he grinned.

"Oh dear, you're not going to let me live anything down are you?"

"You were pretty adventurous as Gwen, I'll admit. I was surprised that my prim and proper Wendy knew about such things." She moved closer and her hand grasped him through his leaves, causing him to gasp loudly.

"You didn't seem to mind it," she said teasingly. She ground up against him and he bit his lip.

"Wendy," he groaned. She stood on her tiptoes and sucked at his neck, relishing the taste of Neverland on her tongue. His hands went to her curls and he pulled her in roughly for a kiss. She whimpered at the ferocity of his kisses and his hands traveled down her back and slipped under her dress. He cupped her through her underwear and he leaned in close to nibble at her ear.

"Proper rules indeed. You're already so wet for me, Miss Darling."

"Peter," she whimpered and his little bit of control snapped completely. Scooping her up in his arms, his lips crashed against hers as he flew them to his room upstairs. He gently set her on the bed and climbed over her, his arms shaking underneath him. His fingertips grazed her skin all the way down to the edge of her dress and his hand pushed the leaves higher and higher until she sat up and held her arms up so he could slide it over her head. His hands went to her breasts, massaging and caressing as his tongue danced alongside hers. Her hands were traveling over his back and pulling at his leaves to get to the flesh underneath. Baffled, she pulled at one of the vines and it unwound from his arm. He chuckled and slipped the outfit over his head, flinging it aside. Her trembling fingers grazed his muscles and traveled down his chest to grasp his hardened length. He moaned against her mouth and bucked into her hands. His own hands were tracing her curves and traced along her panty line; hooking his thumb in the material, he pulled them down her legs and flung them over his shoulder, leaving her naked to his adoring gaze. She bit her lip as her knees rose on either side of him and he gave her a sly smile before he disappeared between her thighs, following raw instinct. Wendy tossed her head back and moaned his name as she felt his tongue explore her completely. She shuddered as she reached her peak and screamed his name to the empty room. Peter leaned back and gave her a smug smile, absolutely in love with the sound of his name dripping from her lips. He bent down to kiss her and rested his hips against hers. He felt her hot and moist against his hardened length and he bit his lip anxiously.

"Is this it Wendy? Is this what we've been waiting for? What we're supposed to give to each other?"

"I've waited nearly a hundred years for you, Peter. If I don't have you soon, I'll die." Peter captured her lips once again and pressed himself against her, rubbing himself across her dripping center. Wendy's hand gently grasped him and guided him inside her. He felt her spread her legs underneath him and she relaxed in his arms. He pushed inside her and felt himself reach some sort of barrier that made him hesitate and glance up at her. She nodded and he continued to push forward. Wendy bit her lip as she felt pain and Peter noticed her expression.

"Wendy?"

"Go on, Peter. Just do it." Peter pushed forward a little more then pulled back out. He slid in and slid out and Wendy let out a frustrated groan. Her legs wrapped around his waist and her heels dug into his back, pushing him forward. Both of them let out loud moans as he was sheathed by her tightness. Wendy blinked back tears at the sudden pain and Peter leaned down to kiss her, resting his forehead against hers. He knew that she would need a moment but the sensation was dizzying and if he didn't move soon, he may explode.

"Just tell me when, love."

"You can try to move now," she whispered. He pulled out ever so slightly then pushed back in, feeling the marvel of being joined with her. Wendy shifted her hips upward so she could take more of him and his eyes closed as he pushed deeper into her. It wasn't long before they were both meeting each other's thrusts with raw passion and heat, their lips all over each other, Wendy's fingernails leaving marks on his chiseled back. Peter felt a gigantic build up and thought he might explode into the air as he had so many years ago. For her part, Wendy was in heaven. It was strange to say the least, that she could remember everything from her previous life. Therefore she remembered her first time with a man…and how she had immediately thought of Peter. This, here and now, felt right. This, she knew, was how it was supposed to be. Peter was her man and he always had been. She had loved John Ferrison but she knew Peter was her one true love and she thanked her lucky stars that she had gotten a second chance, to do it all over again, to be with him.

"Wendy…God I love you, Wendy!" Peter's cry brought her out of her thoughts and she felt them both getting close. He felt himself seize up and grabbing onto her hips, he felt something surging out of him and into her. Panting, he collapsed on her slick chest and remained where he was, connected in the most precious way. Wendy's arms came up and rested on his head and back, their chests heaving together. Peter listened to her heart beat in time with his and he wrapped his arms around her and rolled them onto their sides. He kissed her forehead and buried his face in her hair.

"I love you Wendy Darling," he whispered against her.

"I love you Peter," she replied sleepily. He leaned back a little to study her and smiled.

"I'm not sure if I want to call you Darling anymore. And I definitely don't like Darlinger." Wendy's brow raised and she leaned up on her elbow.

"Darling IS my name, after all. What would you rather call me?" His smile widened as he too propped himself on his elbow and leaned in to rub noses with her.

"Pan."

* * *

Peter woke up to find a warm weight against his chest. He moved slightly, not wanting to disturb her and he inhaled the sweet scent of her hair. He noticed they had broken apart sometime in their sleep and she was now sleeping with her back to him. He leaned down and tenderly kissed her shoulder before getting to his feet and pulling his leaves back on. He had no idea what time it was nor how long they had slept but the Lost Boys should be returning very soon with dinner. Casting his beloved one last glance, he traipsed downstairs to search for the boys.

Stripes was the only one at the table, sharpening his knife.

"Well it's about time. Thought you two would sleep the day away."

"Where's everyone else?" Peter asked, reaching for a never berry from the bowl in front of him.

"Tiger Lily and the braves are helping them cook the deer. She said for me to bring you both to the Village when you woke up." Peter frowned.

"How come?"

"I think it's some sort of welcome home celebration for you. Besides, Wendy hasn't met everyone in the Village. If she's going to live here, she needs to get acquainted with everyone, right?" Peter pounded his chest to help the fruit go down.

"Yeah," he said, his eyes watering. Stripes continued to stare at him.

"I take it she IS staying here?"

"Yes, Stripes, she's staying. I'd better go up and inform her of what's happening then."

"No need," Stripes said, his eyes on something behind Peter. Peter whirled around and saw Wendy coming down the stairs, dressed in her beautiful leafy dress and her long curls brushed to shining perfection. He sucked in a breath, almost forgetting how beautiful she was. She seemed to be glowing and had a pink tinge to her lovely face. Peter reached for her and pulled her to his side. Stripes smiled; the two looked amazing together, positively meant for each other. Their outfits matched wonderfully and Stripes wondered if Peter intended to make her his wife, thereby making her his princess. It was only in name of course; granted, Peter did watch over the island and make sure no harm came to his boys but Neverland really had no royalty. That might change though, Stripes thought, as he watched his leader with his lady. The boy had grown into a man and Stripes knew by the look on Peter's face that he would do anything for Wendy.

Wendy pulled away and her hands went to his chest.

"Peter, you have to go to London for me."

"Um, why?"

"Peter, my family must be worried sick! I may have remembered everything from Wendy Darling's life but I still remember Gwen Darlinger too. They're going to know something happened to me. I can't disappear with no notice again." Peter's head hurt to think about all of it. But he took Wendy's hands and kissed them.

"Ok, I'll go tonight and leave them a note. I'm sorry Wendy but they're not going to believe that you've flown away to Neverland with Peter Pan."

"They might," she said with a smile. "They always said the reason I hadn't fallen in love was because I was waiting for you."

"And I'm very glad to hear that," he replied. "But I still don't think I can face Dr. Darlinger and tell him the truth." She smiled and stroked his cheek.

"A note will be fine. I just want them to know that I'm safe. And that I'm not coming back," she added sadly. Peter pulled her into his arms and held her close. The wound on her neck seemed to glow and sighing, he turned his head and closed his eyes. He felt like she had been trapped here. He wanted to ask if not for the poison, would she have stayed with him? Since she didn't have much of a choice, he was afraid that was the only thing that was keeping her here. But he didn't voice his fears; having Wendy back in his arms after so many years and knowing she would never leave was too close to perfection, no matter what the reasons.


	25. Chapter 25

When the there of them arrived at the Indian Village, the boys presented Wendy with a crown made of flowers to set atop her golden hair. She smiled as she hugged each of them and was greeted by Tiger Lily and her father. Peter watched her move around the fire, his eyes never leaving her face. He jumped when Stripes nudged him.

"Why do you look so glum? You finally found her!"

"Yeah…but I don't know if it was her choice to stay." Stripes frowned.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Peter lowered his voice and quickly told Stripes what had happened on the ship. Stripes clapped him on the shoulder.

"She loves you, Peter. That much is clear from the way she looks at you! She would have made the decision on her own."

"I just feel like she's been trapped here," he said uncertainly, biting his lip. "I feel like…even though she loves me, she would have asked me to stay with her rather than her stay here."

"And would you?" Peter stared straight ahead.

"Yeah, I think so. I've lived without her for nearly a hundred years and never once stopped thinking of her. The moment I knew that it was her, that I had found her…I couldn't breathe, Stripes. I knew she was the one person I was meant to be with for eternity. Whether here in Neverland or in London with her family, I never want to leave her side."

"Well now you get both worlds. You get your Wendy lady and get to stay young forever." Peter glanced down at himself and looked uneasy.

"I'm not a boy anymore."

"Boys can't fall in love, Peter. And you fell in love. That's enough reason to stay the way you are." Peter knew the lost boy was right and his heart flipped when he saw Wendy striding toward him, her hair shining in the setting sun, her hips swaying seductively. She reached him and gave him a broad smile, which he returned.

"Why are you over here all alone?"

"I wasn't alone, I was talking with Stripes," he looked around to see the lost boy had left and he huffed. Wendy stroked his cheek.

"So what's wrong?"

"What makes you think anything's wrong?" Wendy's brow raised.

"I know you better than you think, Peter."

"I know you do. You've always known me better than anyone else." She wrapped her arms around him and leaned in close.

"So? Are you going to tell me what's wrong?" Peter sighed and pulled her away, his hands resting on her shoulders.

"Would you have stayed with if you hadn't been forced to?" Wendy's bow furrowed.

"Forced to? How was I forced to stay?" Peter reached out and softly touched his fingers to her neck. She swallowed, a look of understanding crossing her face.

"The pirates have literally trapped you here. Poisoning you has kept you here, and I'm just curious if you would have stayed or not."

"Peter…you saved my life. You brought me back to you. I love you and never want to be apart from you. If your home is in Neverland, then so is mine." Peter's heart fluttered happily and he kissed her deeply. She went weak in the knees at his passionate kisses and her hands went to his face.

"And," she said, her eyes boring into his, "I would love nothing more than to take your last name as my own." His eyes widened.

"Would that make me your…husband?" She smiled.

"Yes, Peter. If you'll have me, I'd love to become your wife." Peter let out a loud crow and whirled her around in his arms. The Lost Boys all looked over curiously and Peter flew up into the sky, a broad smile on his handsome face.

"This perfect woman here has agreed to become my wife!" There was an eruption of cheers from the Village and people rushed forward to congratulate Wendy (Peter was still soaring overhead, his happy thoughts much too happy for him to come back down) and kiss her hand. Peter landed beside his bride-to-be and his arm wrapped around he waist. He kissed her cheek and could not keep the broad smile away.

"I love you so much Wendy. Gwen. Whatever it is."

"She is Pan's Wendy," Tiger Lily said with a smile. "Now and forevermore."

* * *

Peter opened his eyes to see the sunlight pouring through the window. Yawning and stretching, he tried not to move too much for fear of disturbing the perfect creature who was draped across his chest. Her blonde curls fluttered in her face as she snored lightly, her face pink from the lovemaking of only hours ago. Peter smiled and gently moved a curl aside, kissing her nose and lips. She let out a soft moan in her sleep and shifted a little, a smile on her face. Peter grinned and tossed back the blankets. He looked around the grand room they shared and decided he had better clean it today; it was getting to be a real mess. For the first week after they had been married, Peter had whisked his new bride off to a remote part of the island where they had picnics on the beach, swam in the neversea, and made love under the stars. It was the perfect honeymoon and when they had returned, they discovered the Lost Boys (with the help of the Indians and several other Neverland citizens) had built Peter and Wendy a brand new house, not far from the hideout. For the first few days, they would start to get out of bed and would find themselves distracted by each others' bodies and would wind up staying in bed all day. That was how the last week had gone by, as a matter of fact. Peter felt his stomach growl and he glanced down. Deciding he had better go find some breakfast he quickly pulled on his leather breeches the Indians had made him and flew out of the house, leaving his sleeping wife in bed.

Wendy awoke to an empty bed and she sat straight up, looking around.

"Peter?" There was no answer and Wendy bit her lip anxiously. They hadn't been out of each others' sight for more than two minutes since they had been reunited and Wendy immediately started to worry. But her worry was pushed aside by a wave of nausea that washed over her and she clutched her stomach, afraid she would be sick.

"Oh dear," she muttered, closing her eyes. She felt dizzy and was afraid she might fall over. Gripping her stomach, she pulled on her robe and made her way outside.

She stumbled over to the stream, not far from their house, and fell to her knees. Without warning, another wave of nausea overcame her and she was sick right then and there.

Peter had returned to the house with a basket of berries and a couple of fish and immediately spotted Wendy hunched over. Dropping the food, he flew to her side and heard her becoming sick again.

"Wendy?" he asked anxiously. She glanced up at him and paled.

"Oh Peter, I don't want you seeing this. I'll be inside in a moment." But Peter shook his head and crept closer, holding her curls up in his hands.

"In sickness and in health, remember? What's the matter?"

"I don't know," she groaned, wiping her mouth. "I felt sick as soon as I woke up. I feel dizzy, as if the whole world is spinning." She groaned and clutched her head. Peter lowered her head to his lap and ran his fingers through her hair, whispering soothingly.

"Come on, I'll carry you back to the house and take care of you," he whispered. She nodded and hurriedly washed in the stream, taking a few mouthfuls of water and cleaning herself up. When she was satisfied she was presentable, Peter swept her into his arms and started walking back to the house. He bent and let Wendy pick up the baskets of fish and fruit before they entered.

After setting the food down, Peter carried her to their bedroom and gently set her in the bed. He cast a worried look over her; she looked rather pale and looked exhausted. He gently stroked her forehead and kissed the top of her head.

"Stay in bed, I'll bring you some breakfast."

"Peter, I'm not dying—"

"No but you are sick," he cut her off. "And more importantly, you're my wife. So let me take care of you. Stay here." Because she felt like she was about to drop dead of fatigue, she obeyed her husband and lay back down in the blankets. Peter watched her for a moment before going into the kitchen and preparing a tray of food.

When he returned, he found her asleep and he decided not to wake her. Instead, he sat cross-legged in the chair next to the bed and ate his breakfast, keeping his eyes on his wife lest she wake up and get sick again.

Around mid-day, Wendy awoke to find Peter sharpening his sword beside the bed. He dropped the weapon when he saw she was awake and rushed to her side, taking her hand.

"How are you feeling?"

"Famished," she said honestly. He rushed to the kitchen and brought back a plate of fish and a bowl of berries, which she immediately dug into. He put his hand to her forehead and was relieved to see her color had returned.

"You're looking much better. How do you feel?"

"Much better," she said, her mouth full of berries. "It might have been something I ate last night."

"If the boys put anything in your food, I swear I'll—"

"Peter, they didn't," she said quickly. "And it might not even have been from the food."

"What else could it be? We don't get sick in Neverland."

"Well, I'm still human. I'm sure I can get sick too."

"Hey, I'm human too," Peter said crossly. "What did you think I was?"

"I didn't mean it like that….oh good grief, I just meant that I'm from the mortal world. Maybe the rules of Neverland don't apply to me?" While Peter puzzled over this, Wendy's eyes grew the size of dinner plates and her hand slowly went to her mouth, as if she were realizing something. Peter frowned at her behavior.

"What is it?"

"The rules of Neverland…may not apply to me," she said slowly. Peter's brow raised.

"You already said that. What rules are you referring to?"

"I think I might be…that is, it might be possible that….but is it even possible?...but if I am…"

"Wendy," Peter said in a whiney voice, sounding very much like his thirteen-year old self, "what do you know?"

"Peter, is it possible that I could be…with child?" Peter's very blood froze; after their first night together, Wendy had briefly explained how reproduction worked and what could result from their acts but he didn't think it was possible. No one aged in Neverland so how could a child be born? It wasn't logical or even plausible. Yet they had both defied the rules of Neverland more than once; they were both considered adults, being seventeen and eighteen years of age (in theory, of course) and were still welcomed on the island. Tinkerbell had returned to his side after he had settled down with Wendy and had welcomed him back with open arms and kisses all over his face (she had even greeted Wendy warmly) and had explained that because of what Peter meant to Neverland and its people, they were willing to overlook the fact that he was almost a man. As long as he didn't leave the island, he wouldn't get any older and nor would his princess. So how could a child be born in their world? How would it ever age and grow? And how, most importantly in Peter's mind, would he be a father when he was still a boy in mind and heart?

Wendy was watching him with baited breath, biting on her lip as she always did when she was anxious. Peter slowly took her hands.

"I guess anything is possible," he said quietly. "Maybe we should take you to the Medicine Woman to see for sure." Wendy nodded and Peter waited for her to dress. When she was ready, Peter swept her up and held her easily in his arms.

"I can walk Peter," she said a bit crossly but he refused to put her down.

"You weigh nothing and I shall carry you. Let's go." The moment he leaped into the air, though, she paled and her hand went to her stomach. Peter noticed and lowered to the ground.

"What is it?"

"Could we…could we walk? I don't think flying is agreeing with me today." Sighing, he set her down and grasped her hand. She was relieved that she wasn't nauseated and slowly followed Peter to the Indian Village.


	26. Chapter 26

_**Sorry everyone, I know you hate cliffies but you should know by now, that's my style ;) side note, i wrote the end to this one last night and was really happy with how it ended. I hope you all enjoy it.**_

_** Another side note/plug, I wrote a quick one-shot, my first Point of View fic, in Peter's POV, called "New Adventures and New Beginnings". It's pretty smutty but it's a romance one-shot, so go check it out if you like!**_

_** And, let's continue! :) **_

Tiger Lily was working on a leather dress with several other women around the fire and she jumped to her feet when she saw Peter and Wendy. She hugged them both and her hands went to Wendy's cheeks.

"Wendy-bird is worried." Wendy went pink.

"Why would you say I'm worried?"

"Pan and Wendy-bird come to speak to Medicine Woman. Come. I take you to her." They hesitantly followed Tiger Lily through the Village until they came to a very large tent. Inside was a woman who looked like she had to be about three hundred years old; her skin was wrinkled and leathery and she seemed to have her eyes closed.

"The Prince and Princess have come to Maseota for guidance. Maseota helps if she can."

"Maseota, Wendy was ill this morning and she thinks she might be with child. Is this even possible? I never thought it could be possible in Neverland."

"Anything possible in Neverland. Pan wait outside. Wendy-bird, come inside." Wendy shot Peter a worried look and he bit his lip.

"I'd rather not leave her—"

"Pan wait outside. Wendy-bird, come in," she repeated and Wendy followed the old woman inside. The tent closed and Peter stared at the flap anxiously. Tiger Lily lay a hand on his shoulder.

"Wendy-bird will be alright. Pan need not worry."

"I will worry if she is with child," he said in a low voice. "How could I do it, Tiger Lily? How could a child like me raise a child?"

"Pan learns, as he does with everything else. Wendy-bird and Pan do it together." But Peter wasn't reassured; in fact, the entire time Wendy was in the tent, he was getting more and more anxious. After what seemed like hours, the tent flap opened and Maseota walked out. She fixed Peter with a hard stare.

"Wendy-bird would like to see you." Swallowing, Peter entered the tent and found Wendy lying on a blanket, her hands on her stomach, which was protruding ever so slightly. Peter caught his breath in his throat; he knew in an instant what the answer was. Wendy caught his look and her face fell.

"Peter." She reached for his hand and he knelt beside her. She pulled his hand to her stomach and held hers over his. She waited for a moment, watching his face, until Peter, feeling something move beneath his fingers, snatched his hand away and gasped.

"It moved!"

"Your child is anxious to fly. The entire examination, he's been moving around in there," she said quietly, a small smile forming. Peter slowly brought his hand back again and held it there, looking awestruck. Wendy watched him, her smile widening. Peter cautiously lowered his head to her stomach and his cheek rested against her dress. He felt something move against his cheek and he grinned.

"Wow," he said weakly. He glanced up at Wendy and saw how tired she looked; his face fell slightly. "Are you going to be ok?"

"Maseota said everything should be fine as long as I get plenty of rest and eat a proper diet. There's no reason the baby wouldn't be healthy."

"He's a Pan. He'll be perfect." Wendy smiled and squeezed his hand. He gently lifted her into his arms and rubbed noses with her.

"Ready for me to take you home?"

"Mmhm," she replied sleepily, closing her eyes and resting her head against his chest. Peter carried her out of the tent and thanked Tiger Lily before rising into the air and flying his wife and unborn child back to their home.

* * *

Time stood still in Neverland and for Peter, this had never been a problem. But waiting for the baby was excruciating and both parents were ready to greet their child. Rumors flew around Neverland about the royal babe; what gender it would be, what powers, if any, would it have, who it would look like more, and so on. Everyone was wonderfully supportive of Wendy but unfortunately, as a new father, Peter was inexperienced and quite impatient. He didn't understand his wife's mood swings nor did he like the fact that a new being would take up all of Wendy's time. Of course, Wendy, the Indian Chief, Maseota, Tiger Lily, and many others had told him time and time again how wonderful it would be when the baby came and much he would love the child but that didn't change the fact that Peter was still a child in many ways and the simple fact was, he still didn't think he would make a very good father.

On a particularly foul day, where the weather matched Peter's mood, the wind howled while rain pounded the windows. Peter sat, cross-legged, with his arms crossed, staring out the window while his young wife knitted behind him. Peter chewed on the inside out of mouth, longing to say what was on his mind but knowing Wendy would probably explode from anger. However, Peter Pan did not ever have much of a filter and so he uncrossed his legs and cleared his throat.

"Is it too late to get rid of it?" Wendy's hands stopped and she slowly turned to face him.

"I beg your pardon?"

"The baby. I know we decided to keep it but can we still change our minds? What if we got rid of it? What if we're not ready for it just yet?" Wendy stared at him, uncertain as to if he had lost his mind completely.

"Do you honestly think we can just get rid of our child? Peter Pan, what is wrong with you?"

"Nothing, it was a simple question. I just thought, maybe we weren't ready—"

"You mean YOU'RE not ready," she said hotly. His face darkened.

"No, I'm not. I've been telling you that since the day we found out! Why do things have to change? Why do we need a baby?"

"I didn't exactly choose this, Peter, and for your information, it was what we did together that produced this child. You can stop acting like it was all me." Peter huffed and crossed his arms again.

"That thing needs to get out of you. You used to be nice and sweet. I miss the girl I married, the girl I saved on the _Jolly Roger_." Wendy looked as if she had been smacked and she slowly rose to her feet.

"This THING is your child, Peter, and he or she is coming, whether you want it to happen or not. And another thing…you are the most insufferable, unsupportive louse of a husband that I have ever known!" She started to cross the room and Peter, being his childish self, took it one step further.

"And you're a grouchy wife! I never wanted to be a husband…or a father!" Peter watched her slowly turn on the spot and for a moment, he thought her eyes had gone red like Hook's. But it was actually tears that he spotted and he instantly regretted his words. Before he could say anything else, she had yanked the door open and had disappeared into the rain. He called her name but she didn't look back and for a very pregnant woman, she could move fast. Peter ran out behind her but was blinded by the pelting rain and he shook his sodden hair out of his eyes. Looking around, he put his hand to his mouth.

"WENDY!" But she continued to run, her tears mixing with the rain, no longer caring about being wet and cold or even how much her body ached from carrying the babe. She ran until she collapsed in the mud and wept, her whole body shaking with sobs. She didn't even notice when the rain turned freezing cold and became snowflakes, a telltale sign that Peter Pan was distressed.

* * *

Peter had leaped into the air and was frantically flying over the forest, keeping his eyes peeled.

"Stupid, stupid, you're so stupid, Peter! She's your wife, she's your love…she's having your baby! You are SUCH an idiot!" He hissed at himself as he flew low. He couldn't believe that she could move that fast but he did not see her anywhere. He wished he could call on Tink to help but knew she could not fly in the rain or the snow. Letting out a frustrated groan, he picked up speed and continued his search.

"Peter!" He heard his name being called from the ground and landed beside Jack, who was shaking his hair out of his face and was rubbing his hands up and down his arms, doing his best to get warmth. "What's wrong?"

"Wendy's gone," Peter said, his face pale. Jack blinked.

"What do you mean gone? Gone where?"

"I don't know! We had a fight and she ran out! Jack, we have to find her. The baby…" he paused, remembering his words to Wendy and he groaned. "We have to find her. Please help me find her."

"Well, where do you think she might have gone? The Indian Village?"

"I don't think so. She was really really upset. Because of me. Because of something I said."

"Well…you don't think she'd do something stupid, do you?" Peter froze and stared at the Lost Boy, his jaw gaping slightly. His eyes slowly went above him and without another word, he took off into the air and flew up as fast as he could.


	27. Chapter 27

Wendy pulled herself up from the mud and took no notice of how filthy she now was. She felt something inside her dress and pulled out a small velvet bag which contained fairy dust that Peter had given to her in case of emergencies. Gasping, she quickly sprinkled some over herself and rose into the air. Now Wendy was surrounded by supportive Neverlanders but she constantly missed her family and at this moment in time, her distress blinded her. Forgetting that she would most likely die should she ever return to the mortal world, she soared into the air and through the clouds, toward the stars. She was higher than the rain now and she came closer to the star that would take her back. Right before she crossed over, however, her memories came flooding back and hit her like a ton of bricks. She had been cut with a poisoned knife. She would die if she left Neverland. As would her unborn child. But Peter's words echoed in her head. I_ never wanted to be a husband or a father._ Wendy looked straight ahead, at the star before her, and took a deep breath. If she had been thinking clearly, she would have slapped herself for even thinking about it. But the pregnancy had been hard on her and she was not in the right mindset for anything right now. She knew if Peter were here, he would have flung her over his shoulder and carried her back home. Or maybe he wouldn't…maybe he regretted saving her and bringing her here. Maybe he regretted that he was no longer a boy. Perhaps if she was gone, he would go back to being a boy again and would forget about her soon enough. It was a horrible prospect but as previously stated, Wendy was not in the right mindset for anything at the present time. And so, with a heavy heart, she took a deep breath, silently apologizing to the baby, and flew closer and closer to the star.

She felt a hand on her arm and someone yanking her back, away from the stars. At the same time, she heard a soft voice in her ear.

"Wendy, what in the hell are you thinking?" She whirled around to find Peter gripping her arm, his eyes wide and pleading, his face drained of all color. With a sob, Wendy flung herself into his arms and he tightened his grasp on her, determined to never let her leave that spot. One hand went to the small of her back while the other to stroke her hair and soon his body shook with sobs. Wendy, too, wept in his arms.

"Wendy…I'm sorry. I am so so sorry. Don't ever leave me. Don't ever try to leave me again." He pulled her away and gently stroked her cheek, wiping away the tears with his thumb. His eyes found hers and she bit her lip.

"I thought…for one moment…if I disappeared…you'd go back to being a boy and would forget all about me soon enough—" she was cut off by his lips crashing down onto hers and she moaned into his mouth. He pulled away and his hands remained where they were.

"One hundred years, Wendy. One hundred years after I met you, I lost you and I never stopped thinking about you. I could never ever forget about you. I don't ever want to think about living without you. You're my world. My life. I am so sorry for everything. You were right, I have been a terrible husband to you. I haven't been there for you at all. Just please…please don't leave me." At his last words, he pulled her into his arms again and buried his face into her hair.

"Peter, shh, it's alright. I won't leave you. We've both acted like children but we have to learn together. Everything will be alright, you'll see."

"You're right. Everything will be alright…perfect, even. I'm going to be the best husband ever. And if you help me, I'll try to be the best father there ever was too."

"We'll make wonderful parents, Peter," she whispered, squeezing his hands. "We'll do it all together." Nodding, Peter swept her into his arms (despite her protests at being too large for him to carry) and flew her back to their home.

* * *

Peter insisted on getting Wendy out of her wet clothes immediately and he helped peel the sodden layers off her skin. His hands wrapping around her from behind, he kissed her ears and neck and smiled.

"I wish we had that shower here in Neverland. It would be nice right now." She smiled and leaned her head back onto his chest.

"It would but we'll make do. Will you hand me my gown?" she reached out for the maternity gown the Boys had brought back from London but Peter's hands rested on her bare skin, one on her large breast, the other on her belly. He leaned down and kissed her soft skin, his hands traveling down her stomach and resting between her legs. She let out a little gasp as his fingers danced across her center, finding her secret treasures. He pulled her back toward the bed and brought her down over him, so she was straddling him and he was stretched out underneath her. He captured her lips again while his fingers mimicked his tongue, thrusting in and out. Wendy threw her head back and moaned loudly, reaching her peak fairly quickly. Peter could not wait any longer; he flung his own wet clothes to the floor and pulled Wendy up his body so that her bottom rested against his hardened length. Her hands ran up and down his legs and she rose up a little, sliding his cock along her slit. His hands gripped her hips as she impaled herself on him and they both let out loud moans. He realized it had been too long since he had been with her and he didn't know how long he could last; in truth, it didn't matter. The feeling of being joined together again was heaven to both of them. They screamed each others' names as they came and Peter pulled her onto her side, his arms wrapping tightly around her. He rested his hands on her belly and she started to fall asleep in his embrace until he suddenly rose and crept down the bed. Wendy glanced up, frowning.

"Sweetheart, what are you doing?" Peter put a finger to his lips as he lowered his head to her belly. He listened for a moment, grinning broadly and put his hand where his ear had been. Grinning again, he softly kissed her belly and whispered, "Daddy loves you." Wendy blinked back tears as her husband lay down behind her and wrapped her in his embrace.

"I love you, Wendy," he whispered in her ear. "I found you again and I'll never let you go. This body, this heart, this kiss…they all belong to me. And I belong to you." She smiled as he leaned down to kiss her again and she nodded.

"Forever and always, Peter. I belong to you. And I always will."

END

_**Thank you, everyone, from the bottom of my heart for staying with me and being so supportive! This was unlike anything I had written and I really enjoyed it-Hope you did too! Keep your eyes out, I'm sure there will be something else from me very soon ;-)**_

_** Love and Pixie Dust to you all!  
**_


	28. UPDATE: WHAT'S NEXT

_**Well hello there wonderful fans of mine- good news! I've returned to Neverland with my good friends Wendy and Peter and am working on a new fanfiction. it's currently untitled but it is the story after Wendy has decided to stay with Peter in Neverland...my first ever, of this nature, and I'm quite excited about it! I'll let you all know when I begin posting! Hope to see you all on the new one! Thanks again for your unyielding support! **_

_**XOXO **_


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